01
I found that many people now have problems, when looking for a marriage partner, I am full of thoughts about what kind of one I want to find, to find various rules and regulations, and ignore the most fundamental feelings. For example, I want to find someone I like, and she really loves me.
This is what you should really measure and demand, otherwise even if he is in good condition, but he does not like you, what is the use.
Men looking for a marriage partner, but also to find a woman who really loves you.
This love is not willing to play games with you, willing to accompany you to dinner and watch movies, and make some more emotions to accompany you to drink. Instead, there are values of growing together, facing life, and striving together.
First of all, you have to understand the question, why are couples the most intimate relationship in the world? It is because the husband and wife have to bear a fate together.
If she doesn't really love you, how can she have the determination to share a fate with you, including the obsession of having to work hand in hand? Otherwise, your husband and wife relationship is only a combination of the desired benefits, which is equivalent to you constantly satisfying her selfish and greedy parts.
And true love is to let each other consciously manage their own desires and restrain their own human problems because of love, and then marriage can be long, stable, harmonious and happy.
So don't put the cart before the horse, and figure out what kind of partner you are looking for. Especially those who have been divorced, many are also stupid, have been divorced once, still do not know what kind of partner they want to find, only know to make requirements, depending on the conditions.
Those who love you will nourish you, enrich you, and complete you; those who do not love you will hollow you out in the name of love. Whether the conditions are good or not, the benefit is based on the premise of love.
02
Chen Feng (pseudonym) and his wife are married for the second time, but this marriage is still unhappy, the longer they are married, the more discouraged they are, which makes him have a feeling that the second wife seems to have directly smashed herself on her own body and completely runs to enjoy the attitude.
The wife does not worry much about family affairs, because she does not worry, does not care, does not care, so she is not angry.
There is a feeling of getting a salary in the unit and mixing days, anyway, I came to work today, I have money today, and I can mix it up.
When Chen Feng asked his wife to do something, his wife would also do it, but whether he could do it well or not, it didn't matter, he did it himself anyway.
More contradictions, or because of money. The wife has her own job, and it doesn't matter how much money she makes, what matters is that she can do a lot of things on the grounds of going to work. For example, when Chen Feng accused him of spending money and spending a lot of money during an argument, his wife would say, I don't completely spend your money, I earn it myself.
The wife did not consider the future of the family, but only cared about eating and drinking for herself, eating the best, drinking the best, and using the best. These basic things cannot be questioned and blamed by men, because when a man accuses a woman of eating and drinking, it is equivalent to admitting his own incompetence.
The family can not make ends meet, especially the wife to friends, to the family, is more generous, as long as there are friends back from the field, to the highest standards to entertain. What if there is no money left? Folding his hands, he said to Chen Feng, you are a man, you want to find a way.
Whether she has money or not, her wife is desperately spending, and when she has no money, she uses a credit card and then takes the money that Chen Feng has turned around to pay it back. To tell the truth, such a day made Chen Feng see no hope.
Sometimes looking at the clothes and jewelry in the wife's closet, the scalp is numb, and there are many who have not even torn the tag, including various daily necessities, which are relatively the best.
Until because of the 8,000 yuan TV, the two people completely froze, and the wife, who never watched TV, suddenly chased the drama on a whim, and wanted to put the small TV in the living room to the bedroom and buy a new one. In the case of Chen Feng's disagreement, he bought it back on his own initiative, just like Chen Feng himself said: "8,000 pieces of TELEVISION has become the last straw that crushed me", the pain of the second-married man.
Do not consider the future of two people at all, nor live according to the ability of two people, as long as there is something to share with both hands, everything has nothing to do with himself, everything must be chen Feng himself to bear, to make it clear, that is, I marry you, that is, to enjoy happiness, try to live comfortably.
03
As the old saying goes, it is difficult for couples to communicate halfway, many people are not optimistic about the second marriage, maybe the second marriage does involve more practical problems, which cannot be denied. But the biggest problem with second-married couples is that the two people do not have the values to struggle together.
Completely supporting the lives of two people by one person, one person will only force the other person to work hard, change, for the life they want.
When two people can't put family interests first, the days must be bad, just like you are desperate in the front, she is dismantling the stage in the rear, you try harder and harder, it will not help, and in the end it will be empty.
Unlike first-time couples, two people often have a special obsession with how to do with the family. Do your best to make this home better and better, whether you can meet your expectations, although it is not decided by yourself, but neither of them has thought of giving up, and will try to avoid how this family can not be.
One person supports the lives of two people, it is not called tired, supporting the lives of two people, and at the same time, it is also necessary to be responsible for the ideals and pursuits of another person, which is called tiredness.
In the final analysis, this is the problem of family beliefs, and I have also presuppose the possibility of divorce again in my mind, and I have begun to have a casual attitude. For example, a person, sure that there is no way back behind her, no choice means that the choice in front of her has become her only choice, then is it possible for her to do so? It is impossible, only to think that this is their only choice, in fact, every couple should have such an attitude.
If you think of giving up cooperation at every turn, you can't continue to cooperate for a long time, and only when you think that you have no way out and must persist can you see hope in persistence.
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