I am Xiaoyuan, an emotional creator who loves words and reading, I hope to bring you warmth, and I welcome you to tell me your story!
Readers who missed the previous article can click on the blue title to continue reading.
People say that marriage is not a matter of two people, but of two families.
When we were young, we always thought it was unrealistic. After all, in today's open society, it's all about free love.
Does the child choose love and obey the arrangements of the family?
For this opposition, there is always there. However, in the face of reality, there is often nothing that can be done.
Because, when both parents sit together, be prepared for anything that might happen. However, if anyone disagrees, the matter of marriage may be ruined.
Keigo Higashino once said, "There are two things in the world that cannot be looked at directly, one is the sun, and the other is the human heart." ”
Because of this, many parents will always tell their children that when they find a marriage partner, they must let themselves be checked.
After all, the experience of people who have come over, especially the opinions of parents, is definitely for your own good. Therefore, when children want to find a partner, they must tell them that families with these three characteristics cannot be found.
1, the original family is unfortunate
The child is the "product" of the original family and the object of the projection of the parental relationship.
Basically, you see how the other parent gets along, and then, in the future, how will the young couple get along.
Therefore, when looking for a partner, remember to go to the other person's home to see, if the other party's parent relationship is not harmonious, then do not give your love to someone who is not worthy.
There is a saying: "The character of a child has a lot to do with the family environment created by the parents." ”
Indeed it is. The atmosphere of the family environment can have a profound impact on children.
I still remember that a long time ago, Li Yang, who was "crazy English", was exposed to domestic violence against his wife.
At that time, he was like a "clown" who fell from the altar and was scolded. Because, in front of the outside world, he always maintains the image of a "good teacher", and even every time he goes to a school to speak, he can see the admiration and pursuit of a group of students.
However, in the family, he was not a good husband. Because his wife posted "evidence" of her own domestic violence on the Internet, people can't help but feel sorry.
So, why would a man who was once so influential treat his wife like this?
It turned out that Li Yang's original family was very unfortunate.
In the early years, his parents helped Xinjiang for 5 years, Li Yang followed the life of his grandmother and grandfather, and he became very lonely and sensitive without father's love and maternal love.
Even if the parents come home later, the parent-child relationship is very strange. In addition, Li Yang's grades when he was a child were not good, and being beaten and scolded by his parents was a family meal.
Even his father tore up His homework notebook because Li Yangzi was not well written.
Perhaps, the seeds of "violent tendencies" were already planted by then.
It can be seen that unhappy marriages are inextricably linked to the original family.
Children are a mirror for parents, and if parents bring too much harm to their children, children will also bring this negative emotion into their marriage.
Therefore, if you choose marriage, you must understand each other's original family.
2. There are many brothers and sisters
In conservative thinking, there is always a feeling that a family, having many brothers and sisters is a good thing, can help each other.
However, in today's society, this is not necessarily the case.
Some people say: "The so-called brothers and sisters, good teachers and friends, in the world of two people in the love field, are idle people and so on." ”
Indeed, when love meets affection, it is a choice that is difficult to weigh.
Do you know "Fu Di Devil"?
It is a family that has boys and girls, but girls are always trying to pave the way for boys, and they can't get the love that the original family deserves.
Like Fan Shengmei in Ode to Joy, she has parents like "vampires" and an older brother who has nothing to do.
His existence is to raise a family and raise a brother.
She said: "My brother's down payment for the house is me, the loan is me, but the name of the homeowner is not me. ”
How sad that must be. Therefore, do not think that having more children is a blessing. For parents, what they think is their business.
However, when getting married, we should avoid such families with many siblings. Because what you have to raise is not a person, but a family.
That is the reality.
We always look for our lovers with a sincere heart, but when we meet a family where interests are paramount, you are the "cash machine". So, don't be too simple, especially when talking about marriage, please use your wisdom to choose your own future.
3, the family conditions are too poor
There is a saying: "Modern people's love is to weigh the pros and cons, it is a game of subjective and objective conditions, and it is also a confrontation between the strengths of two families." A slight drag on one side is to be abandoned. ”
Admittedly, while this statement is realistic, it is also true.
Everyone is thinking for themselves, for the future.
This society is no longer the era of "sentient drinking water". As long as two people choose to get married, it means that an economic relationship has been established.
You need to recombine money, after all, no one wants to lose money in their relationship.
So, the best thing to do before marriage is not to marry someone with too poor family conditions.
Of course, we can't decide what happens to others, but we can change our status quo. At least when we meet someone we love, we don't have to feel inferior.
No one can choose what kind of family they live in, only change, will have a different life.
When we get married, we will definitely have children of our own. So, what kind of life do you want your child to live?
The answer can be imagined, and naturally I hope that the child will live well.
So, if you can, when choosing who to marry, don't ask how rich the other person is. However, at the very least, the two of them should have the ability to support their future lives together.
After all, if one person's suffering becomes a tragedy for two people, it is the greatest misfortune of marriage.
Are you right?
Xiaoyuan's message: When looking for a partner, you need to consider it comprehensively, not just as long as you have love.
After all, the future is unpredictable, and everything is changing, let alone the abstract emotions that people have.
Don't listen to those who love each other and can be white-headed, people who have not experienced marriage are not qualified to evaluate.
Therefore, what kind of family should be found, what kind of family should not be found. It is our preparation before marriage, which cannot be ignored.
For the rest of your life, may you stay with those you love until you are old and happy for the rest of your life. Share!
Topic: What kind of family do you think your children should avoid when looking for a partner?
Feel free to leave a comment in the comments section below. If you like this article, remember to like and retweet. Follow me and bring you different wonderful content every day!
This article is the author's original and may not be reproduced without authorization. The image comes from the Internet, please contact the lawsuit for deletion for infringement.