In the TV series "Xiao Min Jia", Liu Xiaomin and her son Jia Jun run together in the morning. Xiao Min observed that Jia Jun always turned back, she thought that her son was worried that she would not be able to keep up, who knew that Jia Jun said that he was just used to turning back.
What Liu Xiaomin doesn't know is that Jiajun's habit stems from his experience of being bullied by his friends when he was a child.
When Jia Jun was 6 years old, his parents divorced, his mother Liu Xiaomin went to Beijing, his father was drunk all day and couldn't take care of him, and Jia Jun became the object of bullying by his friends.
"Liu Xiaomin, flower butterfly, wearing a pair of small white shoes." The friends shouted and slipped along, while chasing the family jun.
Jia Jun desperately ran forward, but he was worried that he would be caught, so he subconsciously looked back while running, this look did not matter, he fell, and his friends surrounded him, circled around him, and sang while turning.
The childhood experience has become a lingering shadow of Jia Jun, and when he grows up, every time he runs, Jia Jun can't help but look back, and because of this, he falls down again and again in the running race and rubs shoulders with the first place.
This experience of being bullied has become a lingering pain in Jia Jun's heart.
Most of the people who are bullied will leave a psychological shadow.
The "Seeing School Bullying" survey report shows that some of the bullied people will even give up their studies, and there are very few who are "not affected and not harmed".
In our country, although school bullying is not the most serious, this proportion is not low.
In 2015, a graduate of Beijing Normal University conducted a field survey at a middle school in Guangdong, and according to her survey results, 57 of the 300 randomly selected student questionnaires were identified or considered to be bullies by classmates, of which 43.8% bullied others once a week, and 23.4% reached twice or three times a month.
This data is not high.
School bullying, really not far from the children.
Causes of bullying in schools
There are many reasons for bullying in schools.
A bully said that when he bullied others, he saw that the other party did not dare to speak up, and his eyes were full of fear, and he had a sense of accomplishment. Especially when he bullied others in public, the booing of the surrounding crowd and the whispered pleas of the bullied made his vanity greatly satisfied.
There are also bullies who say that if he doesn't follow others to bully others, the group will bully him or threaten not to play with him.
"The most direct reason is that when children grow up, no one teaches them how to deal with conflicts between children, they don't know how to deal with the catharsis of their emotions, and finally choose violence." Tong Xiaojun, director of the Institute of Children and Young Children of the China Youth Political College, said.
The way school bullying
"School bullying does not simply refer to who fights with whom for what reason, but refers to the physical, verbal or mental injuries and attacks inflicted on others by one person or a group of people." Tong Xiaojun said.
It can be seen from this that school bullying is not only physical violence, but also some non-physical bullying is also very harmful to children.
The "China School Bullying Survey Report" pointed out that language bullying is the main form of school bullying, higher than physical bullying and cyberbullying, accounting for 23.3%.
The boy Jiajun mentioned above is often bullied by the language of his friends, "Liu Xiaomin, flower butterfly, wearing a pair of small white shoes", they use their smooth mouth to laugh at Jia jun, and Jia Jun is also inferior because of this, and complains to his mother.
There was a girl in my daughter's class who wrote a pinyin incorrectly during a language class dictation, and was nicknamed "Nose and Nose Sister" by a male classmate, which later developed into most boys in the class who called her "Nose and Nose Sister", which brought some trouble to this girl.
Fortunately, this girl was very brave, found the teacher to reflect the situation, and the teacher also criticized the boys in time, and the matter gradually faded.
There is also bullying in the form of isolation, rumor-mongering, and damage to other people's private belongings, which makes the bullied person miserable.
The Yi rumor in "Sorrow Against the River", being stuffed with chalk ash in his mouth, red ink on his clothes, and being rumored to be a murderer, yi yao was humiliated.
No matter what form of bullying, it brings pain, grievances, and fear to the bullied, not only affecting learning, but also falling into pain in life.
What parents need to do
Don't think that bullying is far away from your own children.
Sometimes some children are bullied, although they feel very uncomfortable, but they do not know that they are being bullied, do not dare to resist and do not know how to ask teachers or parents for help.
And bullies like to bully such children the most, which forms a vicious circle.
In school, children inevitably have friction with classmates, when the child is bullied, parents please stand up, when the child's umbrella, instead of not salty and not lightly said "no big deal, bear with it", "why does he bully you, you will not do wrong" to send the child away, can not see the child's grievances and fear.
Opposing bullying requires the joint efforts of schools and families.
As parents, we must teach children to recognize bullying, and help children learn to face bullying, and they can solve problems in time after being bullied.
Parents can usually talk to their children about school bullying and teach their children how to protect themselves.
In addition, it is also a good form to use picture books and tell children stories.
I have a friend who is a teacher in kindergarten, and when she usually tells stories to children, she will consciously choose picture books about bullying, and "Anti-Bullying Enlightenment Picture Books" is what she often tells children.
This set of picture books consists of 8 volumes, namely "I don't like to be ridiculed", "I don't like to be touched", "I don't like to be called", "I don't like to be rumored", "I don't like to be excluded", "I don't like to be pushed", "I don't like to be nicknamed", "I don't like things to be robbed".
Friends say that every book has a theme that teaches children to solve specific problems, such as this one" I don't like to be excluded:
I actively answered the teacher's questions in class, but Hannah always said that I liked to be in the limelight, and my classmates were now excluding me and isolating me... What am I going to do?
There is also this book "I Don't Like to Be Rumored", which teaches children what to do in the face of rumors from their classmates.
Anna saw my dad go to the police station, she said that dad stole something and was arrested by the police, saying that I was also a thief, everyone was guarding against me, I was really sad, who can help me?
And this one, my new tablemate Mark always likes to laugh at others, often making me laugh at me, which makes me very sad. What should I do in this situation, and who can help me?
This set of books lists 8 common ways of bullying in schools, such as being rumored, ridiculed, excluded, nicknamed, etc., through small stories to let children know about school bullying, and teach them how to resist, how to ask parents or teachers for help.
Read more books with your children, and you can usually interpret the storyline with your children, believe that your children will have a specific understanding of bullying, and learn specific coping methods from the book.
Like parents, buy a set to accompany their children to read it, recognize bullying, oppose bullying, need parents and children to work together.
Write at the end:
Nowadays, school bullying incidents are not new, and every child in it may encounter bullying incidents, and parents cannot help but be vigilant.
This requires parents to teach their children to protect themselves, not to bully others, and not to be bullied by others.
When the child is bullied, please stand up firmly and be the strongest backing of the child.
Let bullying be nowhere to be seen.