Text/Su Xin
Figure/ From the Network If there is infringement contact deleted
—
There is a saying that is very good: "The relationship between people is like knitting a sweater, when it is established, it is a needle and a thread, and when it is removed, it is just a gentle pull." ”
Don't think that this only applies to ordinary friends, in fact, between relatives and between husband and wife, it is also the same.
Any kind of relationship needs to be carefully cared for, otherwise the strongest relationship may fall apart.
The TV series "Xiao Min's Family" has such a scene, Liu Xiaomin, under the strength and pressure of her mother, marries Jin Bo, a man she does not like at all.
I thought that I could make a living after marriage, but after marriage, Xiaomin found that there were too many unbearable problems in this man, he had nothing to do, he drank all day, so Xiaomin wanted to divorce, but her mother hid her marriage certificate.
The mother originally thought that she had a good intention to avoid the tragedy of Xiaomin's divorce, but this actually contributed to the misfortune of Xiaomin's marriage in the future. Once, when the mother and daughter were talking about marriage issues, the two began to turn over old accounts, and a fierce quarrel was staged.
Xiao Min complained that her mother should not interfere too much in her marriage, and her mother accused Xiao Min of not understanding gratitude, and then the scene of the chicken flying and the dog jumping was presented to the audience.
Seeing such a scene, perhaps many people will think of themselves in life, is it also from which they have found a shadow of themselves and their families? A family that should be good, but can not always speak well, a word of disagreement will make a chicken flying dog jump, people on horseback?
Everyone yearns for a good life and a harmonious marriage, but often ignores that in fact, a good marriage must work hard in three aspects, especially women, who should understand this truth.
01 Talk well and don't complain
Sanmao once said, "Let the never-awake man fend for himself, and if they complain, we plug our ears." Because they refuse to have the slightest gratitude for life to the world, to life. ”
A person who likes to complain is a person who likes to find shortcomings in others, and she never reflects on herself, she will blame all the mistakes in life on the other party.
Some people say that complaining and blaming are the killers of marriage, and this is not wrong at all.
I met a friend, before marriage, she and her husband loved each other very much, but after less than half a year after marriage, the two could not get by. The reason is that my friend has some cleanliness habits, did not live together before marriage, she does not know that her husband is a very sloppy person in life, but after living together after marriage, she can't look at her husband's sloppy problem.
As a result, the most common thing her husband hears after work every day is that she is constantly nagging and complaining, and then her husband really can't stand her endless accusations, so he filed for divorce.
Psychologists have pointed out that if a person pays too much attention to one thing, he cannot focus on other more valuable things.
That friend, she focused on her husband's "sloppiness", not only ignored the good side of her husband, but also ignored the love of life.
No one wants to live with a woman who complains because it's a torture.
Therefore, if you want to have a good marriage, you must start by talking well and stopping complaining.
02 Don't change a person
There is a saying that smart people only change themselves, and only stupid people change others.
Marriage requires two people to tolerate each other, not to try to change each other.
There is a link in an emotional healing show where a woman complains that over the years of marriage, she and her lover have always quarreled, which is actually just a trivial matter.
For example, she said that her husband came back from work every day, and her shoes would never be well arranged; every time she brushed her teeth, the toothpaste always started to squeeze from the middle; she told him that hairstyle was not suitable for him, but every time he cut his hair, he tended to that hairstyle; told him to eat less sweet countless times, but he just couldn't control himself.
She thinks that it is all for the good of the other party, and will bitterly tell him to change his bad habits, but the lover does not appreciate it, but thinks she is very nagging.
As a result, the two spent most of their time arguing over these trivialities.
Remembering a sentence, what we have to do is to adapt to each other, not to change each other. But how many people can do self-examination?
We are always used to being tolerant of ourselves, but we are harsh on others, and this is the root of many marital misfortunes.
Some netizens said a very useful sentence: "Change can be changed, accept what cannot be changed, marriage can be peaceful." ”
In marriage, what we need to change is not others, but ourselves.
03 Learn to respect others
Whether it is family affection, friendship or love, whether it is a husband and wife, or a mother-in-law, any kind of relationship needs to be based on the premise of respect, and people with more intimate relationships actually need more respect.
Director Ang Lee is a well-known internationally renowned director, others always think that with such an identity, he should be coaxed by his wife at home to compliment, but in fact, in real life, Ang Lee is not like this at all, he not only does not have a little bit of the style of a big director, but also undertakes to buy vegetables, cook, do housework and other work.
Actor Liu Qingyun is also like this, although he is famous outside, but in marriage, he respects his wife very much, because he pities her body, Liu Qingyun does not even let his wife have children.
There is no mystery about a good marriage, it's just that both people can respect each other.
There is a story on the Internet that a man is unemployed, but he does not dare to tell the truth to his wife, still dressed every day, pretending to go to work, and he actually went to the talent market to find a job.
During the period of looking for a job, although the pressure was huge, he told himself in the mirror every day that he must not let his family see his embarrassment, let alone bring pressure to his family.
Finally, a month later, he found a new job, and when he wanted to tell his wife the truth, the wife said one step ahead of him that she already knew it when he was unemployed, and the reason why she didn't say it and acted with him was to preserve the dignity of men.
Listening to his wife's words, the man was very touched, he was very grateful for his wife's understanding and respect for him, and he vowed that he would redouble his efforts to run their family and give her a better life in the future.
There is a saying that goes very well: "It is better to be happy at first sight than to be bored for a long time.". Some people love strongly, but they can't stand the test of marriage, and only a long time can test whether they really love each other. And a good marriage is slowly tempered in the usual bit by bit together.
END.