Tu Lei once interpreted emotions like this: "After getting along for a long time, the lover who does not quarrel or make trouble, but to be on guard, 80% of him does not want to live with you for a lifetime, just temporarily snuggle." Without a few tears flowing thoroughly, love really hasn't begun yet. ”
Spending the rest of their lives is what many women expect from married life. Quarreling with a lover is the only way to get married, but at the same time it depends on whether the source of this contradiction involves a person's roots.
A person who lacks character and education, even if he can get along very happily when in love, but once he enters the contradiction between the two sides of the marriage, there will be more and more, after all, the foundation is broken and it is difficult to repair.
Being human is like what Lincoln said, "Character is like a tree, and fame is like a tree yin." We often think about the shade of the tree, but we don't know that the tree is the root. ”
Women have many rules and regulations before marriage, but they do not circle the core of marriage, in fact, a good partner can save us from 70% of the troubles in life.
Many times, we will be trapped in emotions and lose our way, just like the lover's eyes, losing the basic ability to judge people and see things.
At this time, we all have to refer to the opinions of our parents, after all, they have experienced the ups and downs of life and will give us some more rational opinions.
There was once a high emotional intelligence mother who reminded her daughter, who had just entered college: Judge a man's character, depending on these three aspects.
Look at his parents
Parents are a mirror for their children to look at him most truly.
In fact, when every child is born, it is a blank piece of paper, and the direction of his future life depends on what kind of color his parents render for him.
The establishment, cognition and understanding of the three views of many children are related to the subtlety of their own hearing and subtlety in the first half of their lives for more than 20 years.
Before we get married, we must go to each other's homes to get to know each other's parents, and after some contact, it is enough to see him the most real way.
A girl said that she went to her future in-laws' house, and the family was very kind to her, but she still hesitated not to marry.
First, the boyfriend's family has a bad attitude towards the elderly in the family and does not respect them;
Second, the boyfriend's housework is only the other party's mother busy with the outside world, the boyfriend and his father are after eating to push the rice bowl, they sit on the sofa to watch TV, from time to time his father also instructed his wife to pour tea and take fruit.
After communication, the boyfriend did not feel that there was anything wrong with this lifestyle, and the girl said that she seemed to see her future in marriage.
See his friends
Men and women in love are easily blinded by the enthusiasm and tenderness of the time. Maybe many people don't do it deliberately, but they will subconsciously show their best image.
Before marrying a man, there are actually many ways to get to know a man, and we can get a more real and comprehensive understanding of him through his social circle and through his friends.
In a familiar environment, around acquaintances, it is easiest for people to let down their guard and restore their nature.
I saw a post on the Internet that a woman surnamed Zhao learned after marriage that her husband was addicted to gambling money, and many of his friends were also a group of bad gamblers. ghost.
It turns out that the husband's appearance when pursuing himself is disguised, and after marriage, the husband will vent his resentment on himself after losing money.
Things are grouped into groups, and a person's level can be completely reflected by his friends. Unless it is a person with a particularly firm mind, it is difficult not to be subtly influenced by the people around you.
Look at his attitude towards life
Formally speaking, marriage is that two people form a family and become a cooperative community; emotionally speaking, it is the fusion of the emotional habits of two people, which requires mutual trust, adaptation and tolerance.
We all live in different families, just as there are no two identical leaves in the world, and there are no two people who can perfectly merge without running into each other.
The key to the integration of two people lies in whether their concept of life and their attitude toward marriage are the same.
Maybe both people are good in their respective fields and good in the evaluation of others, but it is not certain that the marriage of these two people is happy.
The attitude toward life, the view of marriage, and the collision between two people when expressing their respective attitudes all determine the direction of this marriage.
Some people treat life positively and upwards, and some people treat life with ease, which is not wrong, but the key lies in the information output by the other party, whether you can accept it.
The "Zuo Chuan" records: "There is merit in taishang, followed by meritorious service, followed by words, which have been passed down for a long time, and this is immortal." ”
Character is the foundation of a person. Whether it is facing social life, or marriage and family.
Long life, two people are actually very easy to get tired of each other, but also easy to have contradictions and differences, when the days gradually return to plain, or even become "a pool of stagnant water", there will always be people who throw stones into the water.
At this time, the ripples stirred up by this stone will be full of temptation, and the resistance to this temptation depends on character.
For example, people's lives are difficult, smooth sailing, and they will encounter many ditches and bumps. Some setbacks are bigger, some are less difficult, whether they work together to get through the problems that arise in these lives, or whether they fly separately when they are facing great difficulties, and they also rely on their character.
There are too many aspects involved in the operation of a marriage, and if there is a person in the marriage who blindly takes and does not know how to be grateful, it is difficult for him to continue.
Parents who are clear about right and wrong will first help their children establish a correct concept of marriage and love, and secondly, they will try their best to help their children avoid unnecessary risks.
Of course, female friends, in addition to learning to distinguish the character of the other half to protect themselves, but also to learn to make themselves more competitive for survival, so that they have enough courage to resist harm.
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The world is so big, thank you, you can see me!
[Wen | Wei Wei'an: the pen has temperature, for the voice of emotion, an atypical writer who loves words, invites you to perceive life together]