01
When we are young, we have a fighting spirit, thinking that as long as we have a house, money, and pension problems, we don't want our children to worry about it.
As parents, with the idea of not asking their children for anything, they desperately support their children to grow up, and send their children to the university campus step by step. Then try your best to help your children start a family.
There are always some parents who, after their children get married, return to a state of "debt". When they struggled to be in their fifties, they still had nothing, but they had no complaints or regrets, and they were still gritting their teeth and making a final sprint.
As I get older, I feel more and more overwhelmed. It is not that I have the idea of dependence, but that my legs and feet are not good, and I even lie on the bed and hang on. A bowl of rice and a glass of water must be expected to be brought over.
The years are mercilessly urging people to grow old, and everyone cannot resist the destruction of time.
02
My third uncle, when he was young, worked in a tile factory and also entered the shares, and the third aunt made money by growing vegetables.
The third uncle often said: "In my life, the money for the pension is enough, and I will not rely on anyone in the future." ”
The third uncle had three sons, two sons and a daughter. When the daughter got married, the third uncle only needed two thousand yuan for the bride price, and then posted more than 20,000 yuan. The two sons bought houses in the city, and the third uncle gave them 200,000 each.
It is reasonable to say that the third uncle has also done his best to be kind and righteous to his children. Incredibly, after the death of the third aunt, the third uncle encountered the "pension problem".
Last winter, when the third uncle went to the vegetable garden, he fell and has relied on a wheelchair for a long time to go out.
The children sat around and discussed the issue of supporting the third uncle.
The eldest son said: "I don't have a stable job, and I often go to work in other places, so I may not be able to manage so much." ”
The daughter said: "My family's conditions are OK, but the husband's temper may be difficult to accept." ”
The younger son did not say much, which was considered to be "acquiescence".
Naturally, the third uncle lived in the younger son's house. Moreover, in order to take care of the third uncle, the younger son also hired a nanny.
03
Now, the third uncle praises the younger son's family.
Bi Shumin said: "500 times in the past life, in exchange for this life's passing by." Suddenly angry, there is no hope in this life, and who meets and who meets, and who is close and who is opposed, are destiny, struggle can not be. ”
Although money can buy a good life, it may not buy good family affection. Even because parents are too good to their children, they will continue to contradict each other and turn against each other.
Many elderly people do not get good support, in fact, when their children grow up, start a family, buy a house, etc., they have already laid the "foreshadowing". Only back then, parents could still move, and they could still make money, not counting. Only when you need someone to help you, you can understand it.
Judging from the experience of the third uncle, the reliable children have the following characteristics.
First, children know how to be grateful and remember old feelings.
The Book of Verses says, "Mourn your parents, and give birth to me." "Parents' kindness to their children cannot be repaid in a lifetime, but many young people do not think so, because they are accustomed to taking, and they also feel that everything is what parents should do."
People who know how to be grateful, even if the family conditions are not good enough, will not ignore their parents, squeeze a squeeze, always leave a little space, put an extra bed.
The younger son of the third uncle is often talked about by relatives, thinking that he is too honest to be a father. He always smiled and replied, "At the beginning, my father was good to me..."
Man, there are some things that need to be thrown away while walking, and some things need to be remembered and remembered at all times. People with a conscience are more nostalgic and more likely to support their parents.
Second, the children find a lover of good character, and the husband and wife are one heart.
The third uncle's daughter-in-law is a native of Guangxi. Although I have not read any books, my cultivation is better. She often told people that her mother's family was very poor, and it was a blessing to be able to marry a rich man.
In a large family, feelings are more subtle and complex. If there is a person with extremely poor character, it is inevitable that the family will jump.
As an old man, it is said that whether children are filial or not depends on the attitude of the daughter-in-law and son-in-law. If it is a daughter-in-law housekeeper who still protects her mother's family everywhere, then no matter how good her son is, he cannot be trusted.
Smart parents, when their children start a family, will "check", and at the same time treat their daughter-in-law and son-in-law as their own family, regardless of whether inside or outside. The two generations get along well, which is very important for solving the problem of old-age care.
Third, children have a certain social influence and need to take the lead everywhere.
The son of the third uncle, he served as the deputy manager of a unit. His every word and deed was invisibly supervised by his subordinates.
A person who is accustomed to being an example, if he does not filial piety to his parents, can not say anything. Even if it is a little "difficult", it will still stick to it.
"People are doing, the sky is watching", using practical actions to prove that they are excellent and establish a good reputation. People who can think like this will naturally be friendly to their parents.
In fact, many people are filial to their parents, and there is a situation of "unwillingness", but the pressure of the people around them and the work unit will form a "backward mechanism", resulting in better family relations.
Fourth, children have a sense of shame, their faces are relatively "thin", and they do not want to lose people.
I have seen a sentence: "People don't want faces, the world is invincible." ”
Many people, in order to protect their own interests, do not even care about their faces. Even if his parents live badly, he will not ask. As soon as he opened his mouth, he counted down his parents' various failures.
People with shame, after being educated by others, will also assume the responsibility of supporting their parents.
04
One philosopher said, "We only expect to give our children two permanent inheritances: one is the root and the other is the wing." ”
Wings are used to fly, the ability of children to start their own businesses and get rich, and the driving force for the family to continue to get better.
The root is the foundation of being a human being, it is to restrain oneself with moral and legal consciousness, and it is a person's conscience.
When the old man can't walk, if the "root" of the family is still there, and the children still remember the way they came, then the old man can really rely on the old man.
What makes a person is feelings, and what hurts a person is also feelings.
When people are old, they can fish, raise dogs, find a few old friends to play chess and cards and dance, talk to distant children on the phone, and see the scenery... It's all beautiful, but it's going to slowly fade away.
In this life, the last decency of man is given by himself, and even more so by his children.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.