During the Spring Festival, female colleagues accompanied the director to drink, and the next day woke up, the director: "200,000 is enough?" Female clerk: "200,000 just want to send me away, what a joke." Commissioner: "Then you say."

During the Spring Festival, female colleagues accompanied the director to drink, and the next day woke up, the director: "200,000 is enough?" Female clerk: "200,000 just want to send me away, what a joke." Director: "So what do you say?" Female clerk: "What else can I do?" Marry me, of course. The director fainted in front of his eyes.

1, the company downstairs has a small restaurant, the boss thief eyebrows but people are very good, fried rice, rice unlimited, I and female colleagues know to eat every day after tomorrow, do activities Ha, who knows we both went no more than a few times, the activity was canceled. I said why ah what a good welfare is canceled, the boss glared at me, said: "Brother, you are still interested in asking, I have a 10 yuan box lunch, hard to be eaten by you into 1 yuan five, listen to your meaning, but also want to give me a dime of the unit price of the customer?" "Originally it was a loss-making business, this activity really can't go on, please change the store." In fact, I really don't blame me, mainly because female colleagues have a large amount of food.

2. The boss recruited a staff member and said, "You have been working in the company for one year and are doing very well!" At first, he was only responsible for the distribution of letters, and after a week he began to deal with sales, a month later he was promoted to sales manager, and only four months later he was promoted to vice president. Now that I'm retiring, I want you to be the new president and general manager of the company, what do you think? The clerk said, "Thank you!" Boss: "Nothing else to say?" Clerk: "Thank you, Dad!"

3, last night it rained idle nothing, the family shouted to play mahjong, I have a good hand, touched myself several times in a row, my wife has been losing, the money lost first owe me. Once I held out a finger in front of her, when I saved five pieces, my wife, slapped her face and said enough?

4, the cousin used to be a big fat man, but since he was dumped by his ex-girlfriend, he was determined to lose weight. After half a year of weight loss, I successfully lost weight and directly became a big handsome guy! One day my cousin went shopping with my cousin and met his ex-girlfriend on the road, who saw her cousin and said sarcastically, "Yo! Dead fat man, thin and handsome a lot, how to find such an ugly girlfriend! When the cousin heard others say this about his cousin, he stopped doing it, and used his girlfriend's tone to sneer: "Yo, this is not an ex!" Originally heard him say that I still didn't believe it, but when I saw the real person, I believed it, and this face was indeed bigger than my ass! Ex-girlfriend: "Anyway, when he was with me, you didn't know where he was." I don't want it, it's your turn! Cousin: "That's because he didn't think he was worthy of me before, so he had to find you ugly bastard, and the big face plate was cushioned first!!" After saying that, without giving the other party a chance to return the mouth, he directly pulled his cousin away...

5, yesterday I wanted to go to eat rice noodles with my wife!

My wife's noodles were served early, and they were almost finished, and my noodles had not yet come.

I exhaled and called the boss: Boss, we are together for noodles, she has eaten, what about me?

The boss looked at his husband with an apologetic face: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, your companion blocked you, I didn't see you.

6, the third uncle bought a Passat B5, usually nothing to run Didi.

The car drove 100,000 kilometers, and the burning oil was particularly serious.

One afternoon, I saw him say, "Uncle Three, your car is burning oil, you have to repair it."

Third uncle: Can't fix it, my daughter-in-law said, this car is broken, give me a new one.

Sure enough, it didn't take long for the car to be scrapped.

Now the third uncle has a bitter melon face and rides the newly bought bicycle to and from work every day!

7, the cousin looked at the boss's Bentley a few days ago and went to a newly opened restaurant to eat. After taking a seat, the cousin found that the little sister of the cashier looked particularly beautiful. The cousin kept watching her, and after a while she and the aunt in the shop argued, and they were about to cry. The cousin saw that this was an opportunity, the time for the hero to save the United States arrived, immediately taught the aunt a harsh lesson, turned around and said to the little sister: Beauty, she just sees that you are too kind and bullying, such a person can not get used to it, directly dismiss her, I will help you. The little sister was immediately angry: You roll, this is my mother.

8, once went to the Internet café to surf the Internet, sitting next to a small fart child, also fourteen or fifteen years old, staring at the screen intently, playing into the mind.

Suddenly, the boy took a box of cigarettes out of his trouser pocket and pulled out a cigarette to his mouth, but he didn't find the lighter, so he turned to me and asked: Hey, is there a lighter? Borrow me for it.

I was annoyed to see him look like a hanging child, so I said: Do I know you?

Unexpectedly, after listening to my words, this little fart child stood up and compensated me, and begged me bitterly: Uncle, you must not tell my mother, this pack of cigarettes is sent to you, just be filial piety to your old man's home, I will not dare to do it again, and when I finish speaking, I will run away without a shadow.

Oh ~ I don't know your mother...

10, my son was stimulated when he was a child, became an autistic child, and later met the current little friend to become lively and cheerful. Yesterday my son told me that his little friend's father called him son too. After listening to it, I was not calm, and I thought that I could not let the family take advantage. So today, when my son's friends came to my house to play, as soon as they met, I said, "Yo, my son is coming!" It just so happened that this was heard by my wife, and now I have been kneeling on the washboard for 4 hours.