The essence of education is the process of socialization, which includes both the learning of skills and the search for one's own position in the crowd. Frankly, primary schools are much more important than universities in this regard. Many times, children are actually similar, the so-called leadership temperament is just a child to get more affirmation from teachers, classmates and form a self-confidence.
The child's position in the group and the child's relationship with his partner often have a very important impact on the child's future temperament. A child who has been gassed since childhood is prone to a lack of self-confidence in adolescence, and even until adulthood, it is difficult to get out of the shadows.
At the primary school level, the relationship between teachers, parents and children has an important impact on the development of children's temperament, but more importantly, the relationship between children. We parents should remind ourselves that choosing partners for our children is actually shaping the external environment for the temperament of our children. We should pay attention to the following four aspects.
1． Try to avoid your child from interacting with strong or even bullying peers.
A child's world is simple but not necessarily good. Bullying is actually the norm among children. Many parents always tend to use the play between children to interpret the relationship between children, but behind the play is actually the power relationship between children. If you look closely, you will find that it is always a few children who are bullied, and there are always a few children who bully people. This is not to say that the children who bully people are bad children, but that there are power relations in any group, and there are the weak and the strong.
We parents are usually more sensitive to physical bullying, if the child is beaten, few people can turn a blind eye, but many spiritual bullying often can not attract our attention enough, especially these bullies often occur in the common perception of good children rather than bad children, so it is easier to be ignored.
We parents usually hope that our children can associate with children with good grades and smart talents, but we often do not notice that it is precisely such children who are easy to communicate with children who are inferior to themselves with condescending and arrogant postures. Parents usually think that this can make their children improve, but many times they let their children not only lose self-confidence, but also become the object of other children's follow-up or even bullying.
We need to know that our children are not used to find superiority for other children, no matter how good other children are, if he makes our children uncomfortable, then the first thing we have to consider is to keep our children away from him. If a child is always in a strong position and always used to winning in the process of interacting with your child, then you should change a partner for your child. Because a habitual loser often loses his most precious self-confidence in the process of inadvertently.
2． Don't let your child learn from other children based on politeness or courtesy in front of other parents and children.
We need to understand that a child's self-confidence is not something that parents use to be modest. Adult hypocrisy is easy for children to take seriously, and your politeness will make your child lose self-confidence and make other people's children over-inflated. In front of children, the first thing parents think of is to support their children. A child who does not even support his own parents is usually the target of bullying in the child group. Only when you become a strong backer for your own children can other children respect your children.
There are two most common mistakes that parents are prone to make: praising other children in front of their own children and allowing their children to learn from each other; and asking other children to protect their children. These two practices not only undermine their own children's self-confidence, but actually encourage other children to bully their children in a strong posture. Parents must understand that the reason why people are bullied is not only a problem of weakness, but more importantly, a problem of showing weakness. If the parents themselves instigate it first, it is almost inevitable that the child will be bullied.
3． When children are active, they should pay attention to observation and timely intervention.
Some parents feel that it is best not to take care of the child's affairs, because the child has the order of the child. But the problem is that the order between children is the law of the jungle, even more than adults do not know how to hide the law of the strong. If your child is meat, do you want to care?
Parents may laugh at the fights and bumps, but they must attach great importance to their children being bullied, isolated and marginalized. Parents should not only communicate with their children in a timely manner and encourage their children to show toughness, but also create conditions for their children to turn over. For example, create home field advantage, host social events, invite other children to come to the house to play the games that their children are good at, talk about topics that their children are good at, or invite their children to meet with classmates who feel good about them, and strengthen their connection with these children. Communication between parents is also very important, in the face of a strong child who likes to bully others, there must be more than one child who is bullied, and the parents of these bullied children can completely rebuild the group.
It is worth reminding that it is very important to strengthen the training of physical fitness, and the strength and weakness of the child's body are often closely related to the power order between the children. So I also told many parents and friends that in the primary school stage, it is necessary to let children attend sports tutoring classes. Your child is not strong to bully people, but to not be bullied.
4． Stay away from children with bad habits.
Because of family, education, and even talent problems, many children have vices. Near Zhu is red, near ink is black. The appeal of selfishness and extravagance is usually much greater than that of simplicity and kindness. Until your child has not fully established the right values, try to avoid them being infected by children with bad habits. Meng Mu Sanqian was not so much a change of place as a change of friends. It's not that we as parents look at other people's children with careful eyes, but these children will have a bad impact on our children.
Parents should not only carefully observe the habits of their children's playmates and the changes of their children after getting along with friends, but also try to understand the family background of these children, especially the personality attributes of parents. Parents have three wrong views, and children usually have similar problems. Of course, it is not appropriate to say this about a child, but for the sake of our children, it is necessary to be cautious.
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