Friend Xue is a friend who can talk to more, when she first met her, she was just a small author with no reputation, and occasionally published a few articles on some small public accounts.
She belongs to the kind of girl who marries as soon as she graduates from college, and her husband is her classmate, because she can't give up when she graduates from four years of college, so she didn't go back to her hometown to work after graduation, but chose to settle in her husband's hometown.
Because of her unexpected pregnancy, Snow became a stay-at-home mother at the age of 23. At that time, it was not long before I entered the society, and I still had a lot of beautiful expectations.
Even as a housewife, she felt that it was a very successful thing for her husband and son to keep the house in order.
But the reality is not good, not long after giving birth to the child, her husband went to work in another city, leaving Xue and the child alone at home.
Xue said that at that time, she had no income, her husband was alone to support the family's expenses, she saved money in order to ask her husband for a few times to live, she said she was afraid of the palm-up life.
Originally a naked marriage, the marriage that began with the "three noes" always has various contradictions when it experiences the test of reality.
Her husband's income was not high, plus he had children, where it was a place to spend money, he may feel stressed, and then he slowly became often not home.
Last October, Snow decided to divorce, and she felt that if she continued to do so, it would be bad for the growth of her children, because every time she and her husband met, they would inevitably argue.
At that time, I was still worried, because Xue was a full-time housewife, no basic income, no way to support herself and her children, and life after divorce was the biggest problem.
The most bizarre thing is that her husband said that he would give him the house they bought together, and he would give custody of the child to Xue. You must know that her family's house was bought by Xue's parents who paid the full price for Xue.
Originally, Snow divorced to get custody of the children, which she was a full-time wife with no income, and the probability of the child being sentenced to her if she did not give in was minimal.
In order not to let the house her parents buy fall into the hands of others, and to get custody of her children smoothly, Snow decided to start her writing again.
In the past few months, she has been writing day and night, operating self-media, I have never seen such a desperate woman, and it is precisely because of her hard work that her self-media income has stabilized.
Yesterday she called me to say that she had just consulted a lawyer who said that with her current income, the chances of her getting custody of Heyzer were quite high.
The next thing she had to do was go through the divorce process and start a new life with her children.
The march wind has been much warmer, when I saw her at noon, she was wearing a soft dress, and the two of us walked while chatting about the bits and pieces of our lives, she said: "I have been married since graduation and had children, I always thought I could rely on my husband, after a failed marriage, I understood that it is important for a woman to be independent." ”
I thought in my heart, yes, if a woman is not independent, it is okay to get married and meet a man who can be entrusted for life, but once she meets a man like a snow husband, how insecure should that life be!
My own marriage is the same as most small family marriages, the sweet and sour in the days I have tasted, fortunately because of the distant marriage, my aunt has always told me: good feelings and marriage are mutual achievements, men should be the icing on the cake for me, not in the snow, no matter when to be financially independent, because I am far married, in order to avoid being passive, I should learn to be independent.
In the past, my classmates and friends around me all got married later than me, and I didn't feel anything about my aunt's words. In recent years, there have been divorces around me, and some readers have encountered such problems in private messages to seek help, and they have become more and more touched by the words of their sister-in-law.
After ten years of marriage and seeing the marriages of the people around me, I found that women can actually achieve financial freedom now.
Especially after becoming a wife and a mother, I have my own financial ability, I do not rely on my partner, I am not backward in work, he is not bad, economically I do not drag him down, he does not pull me back, our marriage is not like most traditional marriages.
Some people say that in such a marriage, I suffer more losses, pay time and energy for the family, and pay financially, but I understand that this is also my confidence.
Because it is a long marriage, my financial ability is enough to compete with a man, and I have enough security myself, then I am not afraid of any problems in my marriage in the future, because I have the confidence and ability to withdraw at any time.
In fact, once women identify a thing, it is easier to pay more time and energy than men to complete this thing, and the reason why I have always emphasized that women are independent is because from students to professionals, from girls to women, I get a lot while growing.
So women, when you're discouraged, don't think about it and just act. You know, when you're fully committed to something, you're more dazzling than those pearlescent ladies!