01
A lifetime of not getting married and not having children, some people paint a blueprint for the future like this:
"At the age of 26 you get married, I travel; at the age of 28 you have a baby, I make money; at the age of 30 you buy a house, I buy a car; at the age of 32 you chai rice oil and salt, I am happy and rich; 34 years old you have your children go to school, I buy a house; 36 years old you pick up your children, I am free; 38 years old your children rebel, I travel and vacation; 50 years old your children get married, I sing and dance and engage in art; 60 years old you bring grandchildren, I talk about platonic love in a nursing home." 」
At first glance, the future of not getting married and having children is really incredibly free, happy and romantic, but it is only imaginary.
There are two facts.
One day when people reach the age of thirty or forty, they will suddenly find that the most beautiful and interesting things in life have already happened. The main thing is that there is no longer such a strong curiosity about the world, and all that remains is repetition and aging, day by day, year after year.
Only marriage and children can wash away the repetition, so that people's lives become unknown, full of expectations, and have a head.
Running head is not important, but when you don't, you will find that having a head is more important than anything else, it is passion, it is hope, it is the source of stability.
Many of us ordinary people can only find the meaning of life from marriage and family life. Although married life sometimes brings you pain and happiness, sometimes brings you burden, it will also make you feel safe.
This sense of security avoids to a great extent a kind of panic that you have about life and life, otherwise you will really panic, fear, and may even corrupt people's character.
All happy and free lives are based on money, and you think that the life of getting married and raising children, in addition to spending money is spending money, will make you unable to save money.
In fact, if you don't get married and don't have children, the money you earn will still have other flows, and in the end, you will find that if you don't get married and don't have children, you still don't have money. Unless one day in the future, you can soar, otherwise the ordinary work can only maintain the existing status quo of life.
Most of us are just ordinary people, so the ideal is good, but one day at the age of thirty or forty, we will find that we are still deep in some kind of shackles.
A lot of things, not alarmist, just that you don't have enough experience, not enough state of mind, not enough cognition, not enough age, and now you can't understand it.
In other words, this is also a kind of ignorance in the present, there is a kind of ignorance: not to marry and not to have children, to achieve absolute happiness and freedom of life.
02
A lifetime of not getting married and not having children, some people say, when the fireworks bloom outside, the neighbors are overflowing with food, the family is happy and harmonious, you can hold back without crying.
But is it really that simple?
A doctor who saw her some time ago said that according to the statistics of her nearly 30 years of career, couples who insisted on Dink when they were young basically regretted it after middle age, especially for men. He also treated a 47-year-old middle-aged woman who had to give birth to a child alive or dead, telling her no matter how much it cost.
The woman began to regret it at the age of 45, worked hard for two years, tried countless ways, but her determination to have children was even stronger.
Why? Children are so important? Yes, it's so important, but now you don't know.
Regret is not terrible, what is terrible is that it is too late to regret it.
I found that many unmarried and infertile people think that this world is too beautiful and too simple, and when you really walk into a nursing home, or have volunteered in a nursing home, you know that a nursing home is a small society, and the reality, cruelty, and indifference in it are unimaginable.
Really wait until you are old, into the nursing home, what are you most afraid of? Most afraid of not having the ability to take care of yourself, you think about spending money to ask a nurse to take care of it, remember, you have no children and no daughters.
So ganging, not being taken seriously, being bullied, being ignored, these are all normal things, and even, sometimes even food will not let you eat enough, it is good to have self-care ability, if there is no self-care ability, it is even lying in bed at the mercy of people, and finally no matter what the reason for death, it is considered natural death.
When there is no one to stand up for you, no matter how wronged you have to endure, if you do not have the ability to take care of yourself, there may be someone to change your clothes in time. During the New Year's Festival, the elderly people with children and daughters are picked up, what will happen to the remaining old people, I want to go.
If you are still thinking about the life of the nursing home, showing a peaceful and warm atmosphere, there will be a time for you to cry. What you think, just what you think, what you think, just what you think.
03
Really, a free and dashing life also comes at a price. This price is often heavy that you can't imagine, and only at the moment of bearing it can you have a profound understanding, but it is too late. Still thinking about what platonic love, wake up, and be 18 years old.
Although getting married and having children is not to give yourself a pension, but there are children and daughters, in the matter of old age and dependence, you are confident, even if you encounter big things, behind you are full of children and grandchildren, this is your sense of security.
The two most tangible meanings of marriage and children are, one is that parents raise children, but children also nourish the spirit of parents; second, there are children and daughters, and after their parents are old, they always have confidence and security.
Family affection, no matter when it comes, is an ironclad fact, and there is always a blood connection.
Different choices, different responsibilities, if you are sure that you can bear these, you do not need the child's nourishment of their own spirit, you can pursue freedom.
The main thing I want to say is that everything has two sides, you can't always be fascinated by the beautiful side, can't see through the beautiful part, and see what is behind it. Unless you are fully aware of the pros and cons, the pros and cons, it is not a blind impulsive choice.
It is a kind of ignorance to imagine that the life of not getting married and having children is so beautiful, and even certainly not getting married and having children, you can live a life of absolute happiness and freedom. When making a choice, first think about what you need to bear, and may you go through half a life and still not regret your original decision.
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