Many parents have reported that the more their children grow up, the more lonely and introverted they become, and they are very cheerful when they are young, how did they change? In fact, I think that in such a situation, parents should first reflect on themselves, in the process of children's growth, whether there have been the following wrong ways of education:
1. Quarrel in front of children
Parents should not think that the baby is young, and what he says and does in front of his face will not affect the baby. In fact, the baby's words and deeds to the parents are all in the eyes and in the heart. If the family is not harmonious, the parents often quarrel, and even fight, the child's life is frightening, and it is likely to leave a shadow in his fragile soul.
Some parents continue to have cold wars when they disagree, children can feel the emotions that are about to erupt between parents, the family atmosphere is long-term depressed, children are likely to become withdrawn and indifferent, and children are prone to mental illness.
Therefore, parents try not to quarrel in front of the child, and if they are forced to do so, they should also pull the hook in front of the baby and reconcile. Parents should also soothe the baby's emotions in time, crouch down and communicate well with the baby, ask the baby to forgive the parents' impulsiveness, and let the baby know that the parents love him no matter what. Parents should also encourage the baby to speak out about their psychological feelings, so as not to leave a shadow in the psychology.
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2. Ask who your child has been with after divorce
Many parents like to joke and ask the baby who the baby wants to talk to if the parents are divorced? Maybe parents are just curious about who the baby is closer to, but they don't think about the fear that this problem brings to the baby. Because the baby is lacking judgment, he won't realize it's just a joke! He was there, not thinking about how to answer the question, but he was shocked.
If the baby is a little older, he has a certain judgment, and the parents can joke about the baby, because at that time he knows how to distinguish whether the parents are serious or playing. But if the baby is still young, Pao Dad still thinks that parents should not casually ask who to go with after the divorce, or who will you save if your parents fall into the river together, because these pictures may be rooted in the baby's young mind!
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3. Vent your grievances on your children
Yang Lan said when talking about her children's education, don't be an emotional mother. Maybe there are many unpleasant things in the adult world, but your baby is innocent, he is not your "punching bag", do not vent the dissatisfaction of your life on your child. This practice of parents is a kind of wrong demonstration, so that children feel that as long as there are unpleasant things in the future, they can vent to others without controlling their emotions, and children will gradually not know how to empathize and understand the feelings of others.
Therefore, no matter what happens to parents, they must control their emotions, because your words and deeds are in the eyes of your children. Parents should set a good example for their children, take a positive attitude to dispel negative emotions, do not vent their anger on others casually, encourage the baby to pour out unpleasant things, or appropriately divert attention, so that the baby can learn to be the master of emotions.
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4. Frequently reprimand and scold children
Some parents have a hot temper and often reprimand and scold their children. Domestic violence has a profound negative impact on children, so that children are prone to negative inferiority, cowardice, rebellion, and even violent tendencies. No matter how the child cries and screams to make you irritable, parents should not yell at the child, which will not only solve the problem, but also increase the child's psychological pressure, so that the crying will be worse.
Parents should remain calm, can seriously look into his eyes, let the child feel your insistent attitude, if you also feel a little uncontrollable of their emotions, it is best to take cold treatment, ignore or let the child stay alone to self-reflection, so that parents and children have a calm time.
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Today we will first talk about these four situations, the next article, we will continue to talk about what kind of behavior parents will inadvertently hurt their children.