Children are afraid of "ghosts", is it insecurity? Expert: It's the unique psychology of this age group
Receiving a message from a friend, she said: "Recently, children always say that they are afraid of ghosts, and they dare not go anywhere at night, so they must stick to their parents. I don't know if I can really see some unclean things, I discussed with my family whether I should take him to find someone who knows how to take a look? ”
After understanding, it was found that the child was 5 years old and a boy. This had never happened before, and I started talking about my fear of ghosts for about a week or so. When the family sees the child, they are more worried, and the parents' old people are more superstitious, so they think that maybe the child has collided with something "unclean".
I can understand the feelings of parents, because I used to have this fear of "ghosts", so I can feel the fear of children to some extent. But as a parent, I don't quite agree with what this friend and parent are about to do with their children. In this way, it is invisibly determined that there are indeed "ghosts", which will cause great pressure on the child's psychology.
Therefore, before solving the problem of children's "fear of ghosts", parents first adjust their mentality and tell themselves: there are no ghosts in the world.
"Ghosts" do not exist
From a scientific point of view, there are no "ghosts" in this world. Scientific experiments have proved that the so-called ghosts generally refer to the "spirit" of human beings after death.
With the continuous advancement of science and the deepening of the understanding of the nature of the world, it has been discovered that the so-called "spirit" is only the product of brain activity. Once the brain stops working, the spirit disappears.
Simply put, after a person dies, the soul will disappear with it, which means that there are no ghosts in the world.
So why do people still hear or see some strange images? Scientists believe that this is an element of photographic recording in the soil and atmosphere, under certain air humidity and other conditions, the sound and sound shadow are recorded, and then played out again under the same conditions, so some strange phenomena are produced.
Even so, people believe that there are ghosts in the world. In fact, it is an inherent idea that permeates the hearts of generations of people, like "gods".
From ancient times to the present, "ghosts" and "gods" are co-existing, and one is indispensable. For ordinary people, we can't verify its authenticity, just a certain spiritual imagination and sustenance.
This spiritual imagination, like traditional Chinese culture, is passed down from generation to generation, so there are many people who are afraid of "ghosts". But we have not seen it, and we should believe in science, so in the process of educating children, especially after children are also "afraid of ghosts", parents must make it clear that there are no ghosts in the world, so as to help children "get out of the sea of suffering". In addition, we also need to understand, why are children afraid of ghosts?
Why are children afraid of "ghosts"?
The famous psychologist Piaget said: 2-3-year-old children have a unique psychological phenomenon, which can be called "animist psychology".
In animism, children see everything alive and face all objects with their own consciousness and intention. For example, they will talk to ragdolls, they will invest emotions in cars, etc.
It is precisely because of this that when they hear others say the horror of "ghosts", or some images of demons and ghosts appear in cartoons, they will think that there is really such a thing as "ghosts" in the house, so they have a very strong sense of fear.
It can be said that I used to be a child who was afraid of ghosts, and this fear continued from childhood until before becoming a mother. When I was a child, in order to prevent me from running out at night, my father would always scare me with ghosts with long tongues at the door, and as long as the children ran around, they would be arrested.
Unable to discern the truth of the incident, I believed it, and did not dare to go out when it was dark, and even dared not stay at home alone when I grew up.
Children in the childhood stage are in an indistinguishable stage of cognition of external things, and parents are one of the important channels for them to understand the outside world.
Based on their trust in their parents, children who say what their parents say are convinced. Therefore, whether it is to scare children not to run around, or to ridicule them for being timid, this wrong way of education will leave a deep shadow on children.
In view of the limited cognitive ability of children in early childhood and the ability to distinguish between reality and imagination, parents must not use "ghosts" to blackmail children into obedience, otherwise the child is obedient, but the courage has become smaller.
At this time, they are afraid of ghosts not because of insecurity, they are really afraid, but if parents do not guide their children's thoughts in time, then fear of ghosts has really become a manifestation of insecurity!
How to help children overcome their fears?
A psychologist friend of mine once told me that in just 4 months, more than 20 parents in their psychiatric department approached them for psychological counseling. The reasons for the consultation are surprisingly consistent, all because the child is "afraid of ghosts".
Some are afraid of ghosts and dare not stay alone, some are afraid of ghosts waking up from nightmares in the middle of the night, some dare not go to the balcony, and some are afraid of the dark... Various states indicate that "ghosts" have a great influence on children.
As parents, we should help our children overcome their fear of ghosts, as follows:
1. Do not engage in feudal superstition
As I mentioned above, children's fear of ghosts is a normal phenomenon at an age, and it is also because of limited cognition that they show an instinctive fear of the unknown. If parents do some feudal and superstitious tricks in order to make their children stable, they are actually giving their children a concept that "there are ghosts in the world, and ghosts are terrible". As a result of the reverse operation, the child did not get better, and even feared for a long time.
2. Don't say to your child "Don't be afraid, I'll protect you"
When my son was more than two years old, he watched cartoons with his cousin, and as a result, he was scared when he saw "shadow" during that time, and always said that shadow was a ghost.
After grandma saw it, she hugged her son and said, "Don't be afraid, grandma protects." This kind of comforting words do not play any role in the child's fear of ghosts.
After communicating with my grandmother, I hugged my son very seriously and said: "Everyone has a shadow, my mother has it, you have it, this shadow is ourselves, it is not a ghost, it will not hurt us at all." And he liked us very much, followed us everywhere he went, and was a good friend of ours."
Parenting tips: guide the child more positively, if you directly tell him that there are no ghosts in the world, maybe his fear will not disappear so quickly. In the face of fearful things, we face them bravely with our children, so that children will have more confidence to overcome fear. Parents can't follow their children at any time, and naturally they can't stop them from seeing content that contains "ghosts and monsters". What can be done is to guide them to correct cognition, create a harmonious and beautiful environment, and let children let go of the fear in their hearts.
Mom came to nag in the early morning:
Parents must remember a time period, that is, children 2-7 years old, at this stage their curiosity, curiosity is strong, easy to contact some unknown and scary things. Once this phenomenon occurs, parents should not "make things worse" to scare their children.
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