Look at corporate governance from the perspective of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

If the company is likened to a native family, the parents are the wholly controlling shareholders of the children, and they are also the chairman and general manager. In this case, parents at home are a word, scolding their children a few times, hitting a few times, it is also reasonable, it is difficult to establish a corporate governance structure. Even when their children grow up and can earn money to support themselves, some parents are still strong and collect the salary cards of their controlled sons (subsidiaries).

Finally, one day, the children got married, and the family structure underwent a fundamental change. When getting married, the man buys a house, the woman buys a car, and the parents of both parties contribute to the shares at the same time and become shareholders of the newborn family. The sex of giving birth to a child and a grandfather is equivalent to the consolidated statement of the majority shareholder. If the child follows the grandfather's surname, it is equivalent to being a door-to-door son-in-law and is reverse acquired. After the children become a family, the parents can no longer act arbitrarily as before, and if they have ideas about the subsidiary, they need to communicate and negotiate with the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law. At this stage, the company has the power to check and balance, and it will establish a governance structure.

People who have had marital experience understand the difference: fill out the resume form, the parents write in the "family member" column before marriage, and the "family member" becomes a lover after marriage, and the parents are weakened into the "main social relations" column. This change will be extended to many details of life, such as the need for family members to sign for illness and hospitalization, the signature of parents before marriage, and the signature of lovers after marriage; and then such as separating families after marriage, the household registration book is listed separately, and the money is also spent separately. In short, before marriage, we were a family with our parents, and after marriage we had our own family and "lived our own lives" with our parents.

When you are not married, you are very free, "one person eats enough for the whole family and does not starve", no one cares about you at night, but sometimes you feel lonely. Once you enter the palace of marriage and open the world of two, you are no longer lonely, but you also lose your unfreedom. At least at night, you have to go home, and you can't let your wife complain: "When you pursued me, I didn't want to leave until midnight; it was good to get married, I waited for you until midnight, and you didn't come back." In 1990, Lin Yilian sang a song - "Falling in Love with a Man Who Doesn't Go Home", and some men did not do well in this regard. In the same way, entrepreneurs cannot ask for the money of new shareholders on the one hand, and on the other hand, they still "do their own thing". You are no longer a "happy bachelor" and must switch roles and understand responsibility and responsibility.

In the new company, the shareholders' rights and interests of all parties are shared, and everything should be exchanged and communicated to strive for consensus. In particular, major shareholders cannot do whatever they want and ignore the rights and opinions of minority shareholders. In a small family, even if the money is earned by men, the wife is a full-time wife, when encountering things, the husband and wife must also have a business, can not fight their own "thick arms, strong strength" and insistent. A family, how much money is earned in a month, which money is sold for milk powder, which money is to pay a mortgage, and there must be a ledger between husband and wife, and the information is transparent.

Related party transactions can be, such as raw material procurement, distribution agency, brand sharing, mortgage guarantee, etc. Through resource sharing, shareholders can achieve "1+1>2" synergies. However, related party transactions are a double-edged sword, and if they are used well, they will complement each other's advantages, and if they are not used well, they will cause mutual suspicion and even cause incidents. In particular, attention should be paid to the fairness of related party transactions, and issues such as financial supervision, information disclosure and protection of the rights and interests of minority shareholders should be handled well.

In reality, some people like to hide "private money" behind their lover's back and quietly hand it over to their parents, which has triggered family conflicts. This is equivalent to the major shareholder using actual control to transfer profits and occupy funds in the subsidiary, and the minority shareholder will of course have opinions. The clever way is to give money to the old woman, it is best to let the daughter-in-law give it, and when giving money to the mother-in-law, it is best to let the son-in-law give it. This is equivalent to allowing the executive directors of non-related parties to confirm the fairness of this related party transaction, and the elderly will feel more "face".

Modern city life, before the child goes to middle school, it is really difficult to have no old man to help with the baby. However, the parents are shareholders and have business dealings with subsidiaries, which is a related party transaction. Many children feel that the life is "I was born by my mother, raised by my grandmother, my father taught me to go online after work, and my grandparents came to appreciate it on weekends." Here I would like to ask my grandparents to pay attention to the fact that my grandparents are contributing to the vegetable farm, which is equivalent to intangible assets into the shares. When grandparents admire their grandchildren and turn away, they should compensate with tangible assets and leave an envelope containing money. After all, the child follows the grandfather's surname, the mother contributes, you do not pay?

The essence of marriage is that the mother cedes the actual control of the son to the daughter-in-law, and then "marries the daughter-in-law and forgets the mother", this equity transaction has caused the ancient problem of human society - the dispute between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. I once read a report that a young couple had been married for three years and their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lived under one roof. According to the daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law loves her son, and every day at two o'clock in the morning, the mother-in-law will tiptoe into the bedroom of the two children, kiss her son twice, and then quietly sneak out to bring the door. The daughter-in-law could not bear it and filed for divorce. If what the daughter-in-law said is true, the mother-in-law does have a problem. When your son gets married, he is no longer your "wholly owned subsidiary", and as an "old shareholder", you need to put yourself in the right position.

As the saying goes, "a mother gives birth to nine sons, and nine sons are different", in the traditional extended family, the eldest daughter-in-law is the most difficult. Imagine that the in-laws and sisters-in-law and uncles have the same DNA and belong to the "concerted action". Only the eldest daughter-in-law is an "outsider", and in the face of complicated family relations, the first "external shareholder" has to suffer a soft loss.

When it comes time for the younger son to marry his daughter-in-law, the problem will be much simpler. Because, the brothers and sisters in front of them have all married and separated their families, the "property relations" in the family have been very clear, and the "most terrible" old woman has been "trained" by the first few daughters-in-law - she already knows how to be a mother-in-law, what things to manage, and what things not to manage.

The old woman should reach the highest realm, that is, Jia Mu in "Dream of the Red Chamber". Up and down the mansion, four generations in the same hall, hundreds of people. Some major matters must be approved by Jia Mu (chairman), and some daily things Jia Mu will signal to her granddaughter-in-law Wang Xifeng (general manager): "You can watch and do these things, don't ask me again!" This decentralization and authorization of Jia Mu is also a life experience accumulated over the years, and the process of learning to be a mother-in-law is the process of learning "corporate governance".

Here is a reminder to entrepreneurs that they must be kind to the first external shareholder and make compromises on valuation. TA is equivalent to marrying into your family's "eldest daughter-in-law", dare to be the first to "eat crabs", giving you not only funds, but also respect and trust. For example, when the outbreak broke out, a restaurant was forced to close for three months. Finally, the epidemic ended, and the first customer came in and asked for a bowl of noodles. If the boss can do business, he should give a 20% discount, add a dish, and implore the customer to write a good review in the "public review". If the boss is eager to make money, he will think: three months without making money, finally came a single business, I slashed him with a knife. In this pattern, the business will definitely not do well.

The phoenix man "Liang Shanbo" in the mountains was admitted to the 985 school, and soon fell in love with the rich woman "Zhu Yingtai" in the same class. After graduation, the two married and had children in first-tier cities, and they were happy and happy. Liang Shanbo sighed about life: among his brothers and sisters, only he was admitted to college, and everyone else was still working as a farmer at home. The parents worked hard, saved money, and supported themselves to complete their studies, spending far more on themselves than other siblings. Now that the conditions are better, we should compensate our father and mother more financially, such as buying a house for the elderly in the city. Although this idea is reasonable, sometimes it does not get the support of Zhu Yingtai, why is it?

Zhu Yingtai believes: If it were not for your parents to provide you with college, you would be a middle school student, and we would not have known each other at all, which is also the premise of your family's funding. Now that the old accounts are turned over, and even the tuition fees of that year are "compensated" back, am I married to a middle school student? However, if Liang Shanbo told zhu Yingtai's idea to his biological mother, the old woman would inevitably wash her face with tears: I raised you as a son without conscience!

What is the root cause of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? This is the asset valuation base date. The wife's assessment of her husband is calculated from the date of marriage, and the remaining assets and goodwill value before marriage are directly cleared. The mother's assessment of her son is calculated from the date of birth, including hardships and hardships, year after year. Just think: the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law do an asset assessment of the same man, the base date is more than 20 years apart, and God cannot reconcile the differences between the two. In reality, the mother is an old shareholder, in the process of founding the company, poured too much effort and emotion, valuation has a strong subjective color. In the eyes of parents, their children are the best children in the world. The wife is the new shareholder, and has no interest in premarital property, because only those who survive after marriage are common assets, and their mentality is more cold and rational.

It is difficult for officials to break the family affairs, many people have not been able to handle family relations well in their lives, and many shareholders have not been able to establish good corporate governance. In fact, corporate governance and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are the same way. To resolve these contradictions, empathy is essential. The new and old shareholders put themselves in the shoes of empathy, and the old shareholders (mother-in-law) said: After that, I will hand over him (son) to you, and take good care of him for me. The new shareholder (daughter-in-law) said: "Thank you for raising such a good son for me." The most important thing is the corresponding national three-child policy, adding Ding imports after marriage, forming a new profit growth point, and the whole family is happy!

Author: Cui Kai, Partner of Peking University