"Would you be willing to marry someone like your father?"

01

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Dad is the first person of the opposite sex that a woman has come into contact with in her life, and its role and influence are self-evident.

One of the most important points is that the father influences the daughter's future partner.

The daughter established the initial attachment pattern of the opposite sex to the father, which directly shaped the girl's expectations for the future attachment pattern.

For example, if a girl is able to get affirmation and approval from her father from a young age, she rarely wants to get affirmation and recognition from other men when she grows up, because she already has it, and her possibility of being pua by men will be greatly reduced.

If the father is loving and has a good emotional relationship with the mother, then the girl will not be easily coaxed by the sweet words of the man when she grows up.

Even if she is attracted to such a man, she will leave quickly and will not be entangled, because she knows what true love is like, because she has had and personally felt it.

On the contrary, if the father is very bad, then the girl's emotional experience and marriage when she grows up are not much better.

Because of the lack of healthy fatherly love, girls are full of hunger and thirst for fatherly love, so they tend to become suckers, and are attracted to superficial relationships, hoping to find warmth, sincerity or respect from it.

It's like walking into a supermarket hungry and likely to buy back a bunch of junk food.

Dad provided his daughter with a template for a partner.

So the question arises: Will you marry someone like your own father?

This is a topic I saw on Weibo, I am very interested in this topic because I am more sensitive and attach importance to family relations and parent-child relationships, and when I opened the comments below, it was exactly as I expected.

The vast majority of women are reluctant to marry someone like their father.

02

The highest-like comment is the following:

@Dolphin is only A-A-Bear: No. Although my dad hurt me only because I was his daughter, I had no respect for my mom and other women, and there were too few men who sincerely respected women.

The height of the modern girl's ideological consciousness expressed in this review is much higher than that of our generation.

Post-70s and post-80s women, I think, most of them feel that if their father loves themselves, it is already a very, very fortunate thing, and in fact, our generation has received very little healthy father love, and they are basically estranged from their fathers.

Girls in today's society, gender consciousness is obviously much earlier than we awaken, dad for them, not only represents "dad", but also represents a complete man, and a complete man must have the first point, is to respect women, not just love their daughters.

Under this comment, many people agreed.

@ Zhou Xingxing: My father is very spoiled and very good, people are good, is a bad temper, too stubborn and too traditional, often lose his temper with my mother, who let him make money hard? I can't say anything, just have a little more respect for my mother.

@ Naming can not be casually started: exactly the same, I know that my father loves me, but it does not prevent him from being angry at me at every turn, disrespecting my mother, never learning how to communicate with people, opening his mouth and closing his mouth "your mother X", as if only he has a temper Others have no temper, my mother said that he and my grandfather are the same, encountering things will only make his wife head.

@Ansley: Of course, my father loves me very much, needless to say, but he never puts any woman in his eyes, all kinds of misogynistic remarks emerge endlessly, such as meeting women who smoke or get tattoos on the road, they will scold and grin, only when a woman serves him (such as a female subordinate who works for him), or a woman who meets his highest moral standards (such as Academician Li Lanjuan), he will put them in his eyes, and he will have a little respect.

@ ShengShimei: My dad is a good father, but not a good husband, very good to me, but not at all considerate of my mom. For example, when I rushed to the big market for the New Year, my father walked empty-handed in front, and my mother walked in the back with a large bag full of New Year goods. At that time, I secretly thought that when I grew up, I would never be able to find a man like my father, and I would be very wronged.

In fact, I said that these children are still very lucky, although their fathers are not very good to other women (especially to their wives), but at least they still love them, at least a good father, what if there is a father who is neither a good father nor a good husband or even a good son?

03

The second highest number of likes is the following:

@Improper Loneliness Don't Change Name: No, he's a guy who makes me afraid of marriage.

Many people feel the same way.

@IOIO-V: When I think that I might meet a person like my father in the future, even if it is just imagination, I lose hope in life on the spot.

@Mei Ling Yz: My dad is delicious and lazy, and my mom has worked hard all her life (I was born when my mom was older, and now I am sixty) !!! I hate him in particular.

@ Rambling and floating: I also think of my mother's days of so many years, I feel that the human world is not worth it, one person and one dog are not fragrant?

@Humiamia's indistinct: Just advised my mother to divorce it, in this life I feel the most unlucky thing is how to have such a conceited, hypocritical and disgusting man is my father, he should be beaten for a lifetime of bare sticks.

@baby Kai's sweet strawberry: He's my dad, but only succumbs to him being my dad. He was not self-motivated, did not take time to accompany me, did not give me meticulous and gentle teachings, only temper and violence, leaving me with inferiority and self-shame, irritability and sensitivity. So much so that I am now twenty years old, and I will be envious when I see my father and daughter in a good relationship, because I have never been cared for.

@ The highest future emotional intelligence of the soil big money: If I can travel back in time to my mother's 23 years old, I will tell my mother, don't marry my father... He would also tell her not to get married so early and not to give birth to me.

@It's your bald girl: Me too, don't want to be a woman like my mother, too pitiful. My dad was a shadow of my whole childhood, because of him, my whole childhood was crying.

@ Chu Wang thin waist: I am also too afraid of meeting my father like this, my mother has lived so hard, I can't see the benefits of marriage at all, people are not happy.

@Yingying Meow: Marry someone like my dad, imagine I want to throw up, I really want to throw up.

@Ethereal 1120: If I marry someone like my dad, I'll crash and die on the spot.

@Humiamia's obscurity: What I don't understand the most is that TV series and movies generally say how wei'an dad is, how deep is his love for his children, and there are a bunch of advertisements promoting father's love, I really vomited, did the director and screenwriter not combine the actual situation?

……

04

There are many such "resonances", I can take a screenshot to show you, but I chose to type it word by word.

In this process, I really felt the disappointment and even hatred of their fathers in the hearts of these girls, and behind each message was a childhood that could not be looked back and the present that as long as I thought of this man, I would feel disgusted.

This makes them dare not have good expectations for the future. These words even hit my heart and tears in my eyes, and I thought, maybe a lot of people have had this thought—if I knew he would be my father, I'd rather not be born.

In addition to these two highly praised answers, there are some that are even more unbearable to read.

@ should eat and sleep should be nourished meat: no. Eating, drinking, gambling, cheating on domestic violence is arrogant, wen insults and brags about others, wu can beat people and smash things, and if he is in a bad mood, he will make the whole family unhappy with him. I'd rather I wasn't born.

@ A pillow in the clouds: Earning a few dollars a day outside thinks that I am the most powerful, thinking that without him, my mother and I can't live. Every day when my mother cooks vegetables, she will pick and choose, and there will be meat in the dishes, and she will also bring soup. You must also eat early to eat, and scold my mother when you are late.

Every day in front of outsiders said my mother this does not let him go that does not let him play every day to control him. In fact, he lied to people that he would secretly go out to play cards and gamble on his job.

@ Xiao Hu to gain weight: my depression is because of him, when I came back from drinking too much alcohol when I was a child, I either scolded domestic violence and fell things or even used a knife to pull me to jump off the building, and all my childhood shadows were because of him. Grow up not to move, but mentally attacked. Marrying someone like this? If it weren't for the fact that my mother was too hard and my sister was too young, I wouldn't have lived with this kind of person in my life.

@Somnambulist: For example, my father and my mother are both teachers, my mother is paid more than him, and she has contracted all the housework, but my father is completely taken for granted, and when there is a fire, he will send it to my mother, and the endless quarrels are simply the shadow of my childhood. He used to argue over money, until now I will be inferior because of spending money, the other day my mother had heartache, he didn't even give up the money to see a doctor, I really don't understand why I met such a father.

@ Monologue Jun: The last time I took my mother to see a doctor, I needed to do a CT, my mother suddenly said that she had been on a birth control ring before, asked the doctor if she could do it, and the doctor said that it could be taken.

My mom probably didn't have menopause because she wasn't evenastrous, so she asked my dad, and my dad said, this is your business, don't ask me. At that time, I was still very uncomfortable in my heart, and I felt that my father was particularly irresponsible and did not know how to love and care for my mother at all.

The answer that "I will marry someone like my own father" made many people feel very envious, including me.

@ Dear Zou Meng Mark: I will marry someone like my dad, my dad is particularly humorous, our family is laughing every day, from childhood to adulthood, my dad has not beaten me once, I will not blame for doing wrong things, it is all good reasoning.

He and my mom are both in their forties, and the first bite of every delicious meal is given to my mom.

@ Heidegger North Lane old things: I will, I even think that men like him are now very difficult to find, for decades in advance to get up half an hour early to make breakfast for the family, the weather is not good to personally pick me up and my mother after work, the popularity in the unit is particularly good, every New Year's Eve energy saving received a lot of gifts and blessings from friends, and my mother although will quarrel but definitely not cold war, mom such a man where to find ah.

@Young Qiu: My dad is really a good dad, a good husband, a good son. I was in my twenties and never saw my dad angry at home, but my mom said my dad was fierce outside. All the housework in the family, cooking and cleaning and so on are all done by my father, and my father will personally wash my mother's feet, so I love my father too much.

@ Plum Blossom On the Plum Tree: My dad is the best man I have ever seen the best husband, let my mom do everything, cook and wash clothes and clean up, give my mom a massage at night, super good temper, never red face to my mom, only when my mom beat me when I was a child he would stop my mom. Unfortunately, today's society can't meet a man like my dad.

@In the truancy: My father secretly told me and my sister not to upset my mother. I complained to my mother the first time, he said hmm is really wrong; complained about the second time, he did not speak; complained about the third time, he directly ran away: it is enough to say it again, keep saying it all the time, and she is not doing anything wrong. I:......

@ Thistle Drama also: My dad is also, don't let my mom do it, the family is outsourced, my mom does housework my dad scolded her "put it down!" "In my house, I spoiled my mom with my dad, she just had to lie on the couch and play with her phone and eat fruit, hahaha, and I had to eat their dog food, and sometimes I was really angry with the dog food and wanted to run away from home."

05

I don't know how you feel when you see this, or if you find any questions in the many answers.

I found out.

Among the reasons why you don't want to marry someone like your father, there is basically the fact that your father is too bad for your mother, and among the reasons why you want to marry someone like your father, without exception, there is a fact that your father loves your mother very much.

Maybe it's an article that's more suitable for men. All along, it is really not "smearing", because at least the answers collected in this article are not made up and are very representative.

If a man wants to be a good father, he must first become a good husband, which is the ironclad truth.

Before calling yourself a "good man," ask your family if you're a good husband or a good dad.

So, what about the women who read this, are you willing to marry someone like your own dad?