He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
Do you feel that way?
When I get along with acquaintances, I don't know what to talk about, and I don't want to communicate with acquaintances for a lot of things.
Even if it's parents, siblings, and friends who have a good relationship around you, there are some things you don't want to say to them.
You are used to sharing some of your inner emotions and thoughts on social platforms.
And when facing acquaintances, you are just disguising yourself and making your persona into what you "should be" in the eyes of everyone.
But this kind of life, this kind of socialization, makes you feel depressed and confused.
Sometimes, in the face of strangers, you have a strong desire to share.
Why is this state of being? From a psychological point of view, let's analyze it with you.
-01
Why is it easier for you to open up when talking to strangers?
First: no guilt, no need to hide yourself
When you talk to your parents, you don't easily tell them "you're unemployed";
Talk to your lover without telling him that you've met your ex again.
But these words, these bad emotions weigh down on your heart and make your chest heavy;
If you don't vent these negative emotions in time, your whole person will fall into a state of depression.
But these are topics that you can communicate with strangers.
You don't know each other, you don't know each other's lives, you just communicate with each other through the Internet and mobile phone screens.
You confide negative emotions to him, and he gives you comfort;
He also shares your bad life with you and asks for your help.
After chatting, they can choose to delete the block, and they will never meet again.
Such a "one-time relationship" is without burden and guilt.
But when facing acquaintances, there are many things that you are inconvenient to say.
Second: there is no entanglement of interests, and there is no need to hide it
The relationship with strangers is the purest one.
You don't have a common circle of friends, don't live in the same place, and don't worry that the other person will know you.
Moreover, you have no interests entangled and will not get into trouble because of interests.
You don't need to have any worries, you can say whatever you want;
The other party also has no entanglement and can share it with you without reservation.
Just like the story setting of writer Keigo Higashino in "Relief Grocery Store":
People who are confused will send their whispers to the grocery store, hoping to receive a reply.
Third: Chatting with strangers makes people feel fresh
Psychologically speaking: when facing strangers, there will be a sense of freshness; Curiosity will drive you to talk more with strangers, just like two people in a dim environment, maintaining a relatively close distance.
You won't have any social pressure and don't have to feel nervous.
Psychologists once conducted an experiment:
Let a group of strangers leave their original living environment, and let these people start their lives again in a strange place.
The results show that the personalities of these people who participated in the experiment have a huge contrast.
Introverts, who become extroverted;
Extroverts seem to become a little confused.
This is because in a completely relaxed environment where people do not have to "carry the baggage of idols", the "self" that has been hidden in people's hearts for a long time is released.
-02
"High-frequency chat" with strange members of the opposite sex will produce good feelings
Have you ever talked to the opposite sex about your addiction experiences?
This logical and emotional change looks like this:
At the beginning of the chat, you were a little restrained, conservative, and didn't know what to talk about.
By the middle of the chat, you have completely let go of the idol baggage, and the burden in your heart has been lost; At this time, you are willing to communicate with each other without reservation.
Talk about marriage, about love, about intimacy, about sex, about life, about gossip, etc.
As long as you think of a topic, you are willing to share it with each other.
Unrestrained, uninhibited.
And later in the chat, your liking for each other grows deeper.
You can't even help but want to see each other immediately, end this "online chat", and bring the feelings generated by your online chat to reality.
There are two main reasons why I have a good feeling for the opposite sex.
First: Chatting became a habit
In general, communication between the opposite sex has a boundary.
Chat continuously for more than 1 week and develop a good impression of each other;
If you chat continuously for more than 21 days, you will be unable to help but fall in love with each other.
What does this mean?
It shows that from the beginning, you feel comfortable talking to the other person, otherwise you would not have talked for so long.
Second: across the screen, it will amplify a person's inner favor
This is the "halo effect" in psychology.
The other person can talk, and chatting with you makes you feel good, which is the advantage of the other person.
And across the phone screen, you don't know what shortcomings the other person has, so that you think he has no shortcomings.
As you chat, your likability towards him becomes deeper and deeper.
It's just that no matter how deep the relationship, you also need to experience face-to-face to determine whether you have met the right person.
Sometimes, not seeing each other is also a kind of beauty.
After meeting, maybe you don't even have someone to talk to.
Today's Topic:
Chatting with strange people of the opposite sex, do you feel good?
(Article with picture source network)