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Psychology: When you really fall in love with someone, you can't help but "feel inferior"

He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.

Psychology: When you really fall in love with someone, you can't help but "feel inferior"

Tagore wrote these verses:

"I long to sit quietly next to you, but I dare not because my heart will blurt out. So I talk lightly and hide my sincerity behind words. ”

Do you feel that way?

When you like someone, the first feeling is not excitement and happiness, but "nervousness, low self-esteem and cowardice."

want to be close to each other, but always think that they will be rejected;

I want to show my heart to him, but I am afraid that I will be indifferent by him.

In fact, this is a normal state of mind.

When we encounter true love, the subconscious thought is actually low self-esteem.

The more you love someone, the easier it is for you to feel inferior;

Elevate the other person to heights that are "out of reach" to you and put your own posture in the dust.

Psychology: When you really fall in love with someone, you can't help but "feel inferior"

-01

Why do you love someone more and have low self-esteem?

First: "Halo Effect"

There is a concept in psychology called the "halo effect".

Also known as the "halo effect".

This means: in the process of social relationships and heterosexual relationships, people often have cognitive biases of "partial generalization, point overview".

In the process of getting along with the opposite sex, you are attracted to a certain advantage of the other person.

Like what:

The other person's voice, appearance, figure, personal abilities and conditions, personality, etc.

And where the other party attracts you, it invisibly raises his status in your heart.

Once a good first impression is established, it is difficult for us to change this impression in the subsequent process of getting along.

Unless the other person does something that makes you completely change your mind, your affection for him will last forever.

And the halo effect is "out of the eyes of the lover".

His shortcomings are also advantages in your eyes;

His merits become unattainable in your eyes.

Just like the sentence written by Zhang Ailing:

"Fall in love with someone, and you will put your posture low and humble to dust."

Psychology: When you really fall in love with someone, you can't help but "feel inferior"

Second: "The Matthew Effect"

What is the Matthew Effect?

It can be summed up in one sentence: the stronger the stronger, the weaker the weaker.

A rich person will become richer and richer because he has enough resources, social status and connections.

And a person who has no money will only live worse and worse, hesitate to do anything, look ahead, dare not try easily, and his dreams will be killed.

In love, the Matthew effect also exists.

For example:

Men and women get along, and the boy loves this girl very much.

In order to be with this girl, he gave his all, including: material, love, emotions and time, etc.

As long as this girl says a word, he does it without reservation;

As long as the girl has any needs, he will definitely do it without hesitation.

In this case, the differences between men and women will become more and more obvious, and the attitude towards feelings will become more and more obvious.

Psychology: When you really fall in love with someone, you can't help but "feel inferior"

And the more people who give in their feelings, the more they invest, and their hearts are full of obsession.

"He who is favored has no fear; Those who give a lot of love cringe until they lose themselves. ”

Do you say that's true?

You pay so much for him, of course you are "inferior";

He accepts so much good and love from you, of course, he doesn't care how you feel.

Once he can't get the value he wants in you, that's when he leaves you.

Psychology: When you really fall in love with someone, you can't help but "feel inferior"

-02

How to change this inferiority mentality?

First of all, we must "correct our own mentality".

Okay, love that can continue stably must be a two-way rush and give to each other.

Any relationship, if only one person gives, beyond a certain amount of time and scope, will also make people feel tired, and then give up.

What mentality are you going to have?

"I love you, doesn't mean I'm your tool; Our feelings should be equal and mutual. ”

If the other party ignores you, then you will not pay attention to him;

You give for the other person, but he is not willing to give you back, then you stop giving;

If you don't feel loved and cared for in him, leave decisively.

Correct your attitude and be a "confident person" in order to have love.

Psychology: When you really fall in love with someone, you can't help but "feel inferior"

Second, discover your strengths.

The person you love is very good, he has many advantages, but you are not bad.

You have to learn to discover your own strengths, discover your own advantages, only by amplifying your own advantages can you enhance your self-confidence.

And what is the essence of love?

It's attraction.

Amplify your own strengths, improve your attractiveness, and love can come to you.

Never allow yourself to be a "licking dog".

After all, licking dogs often does not end well, no matter how much you give, after all, it is "touching yourself".

Psychology: When you really fall in love with someone, you can't help but "feel inferior"

Today's Topic:

Fall in love with someone, do you have low self-esteem?

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