Love has never been a process of rational judgment, and it often takes precedence over feelings, but is it really reliable to rely on feelings? Could it be that sometimes what we call falling in love with each other is just an illusion of feeling? Many psychologists have the same doubts, so they have conducted several experiments and suggested situations that could be delusional.
Drawbridge effect
Proposed in 1976 by Canada psychologists Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron. They asked a beautiful woman to stand on a 70-meter-high suspension bridge and a fixed low bridge, and told the man that she wanted him to help with their research, and wrote down her phone number on a note paper and handed it to him. Nine of the 18 people (50%) who obtained the note on the drawbridge called the woman. On the low bridge, only two out of 16 (12.5%) called. This happens because people feel their hearts beat faster because they are nervous on the suspension bridge, and people try to find the attribution between two possible reasons, one is because they feel scared on the suspension bridge, and the other is because they are attracted to the charm of the other person, and when the real cause cannot be determined, they are prone to misattribution of physiological stimulation and mistakenly think that they are in love with the other person.
Exposure effect
Psychologist Robert Zajonc once tried to show subjects a strange graduation album, the subjects did not know the people on it, and then asked them to show some photos of people, these photos appeared differently, and then asked them to rate their opinion of the photos, and found that the more people appeared, the higher the subject's favorability of them, and those with fewer times were relatively less favorable, this is the exposure effect, when a person appears in front of him more often, the more likely he is to like him. However, there are a few limitations:
1. If you are disgusted from the beginning, you will not be able to have an exposure effect
2. Seeing too many people and things that you hate will only increase your disgust
3. Exposure too long or too often may be counterproductive
Romeo and Juliet effect
It means that the more outside interference there is between people of the opposite sex who have a good feeling, the deeper their feelings will be. Cognitive dissonance theories explain this effect. When people are forced to make a certain choice, people develop a high degree of psychological resistance to that choice, and this mindset pushes people to make the opposite choice and actually increase their liking for the object they choose. And when this kind of love resistance does not exist, it is possible for the two parties to separate. Love that has experienced many obstacles and life and death tests may not be able to withstand the impact of ordinary life.
Psychological research helps us understand the key factors that affect our motivation, but the decision to continue with the other person or not must return to long-term observation and actual relationship. Remember, you have to get along for a long time to check in order to be happy for a long time!