He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
When it comes to getting along with the opposite sex, there is actually an unspoken rule that is ignored by many people.
The unspoken rule is:
When you talk to the other person about "the most hi", end the chat.
Why do you say that?
Because only when you are halfway through the chat with the other person can you deepen your impression in his heart and bring more touches to his emotions.
-01
"Zeigarnik memory effect": unfinished, more profound
There is a concept in psychology called the Zeigarnik effect.
Meaning:
People remember more about what hasn't been done than what has been done.
When you finish reading a book, you quickly forget the specifics of the book and only remember the general context.
But if you only read half of the book, then your memory is very impressed by the content of this part of the book that you have already read.
It can also be simply understood as:
People's hearts are more or less obsessive, just like obsessive-compulsive disorder.
What is not done, must be done;
Nothing that is satisfactory will always leave you with regrets.
This is especially true in intimate relationships.
Even if you are in a relationship with your current one and have been married for many years, your ex or first love will often come to mind.
Why is this?
One of the reasons for this is:
Your relationship with your ex is "unfinished" and not complete enough.
It is precisely because it is not complete and unfinished, so you have attachments, regrets, and unwillingness in your heart.
And your relationship with the current one has been relatively smooth all the way; From falling in love to getting married, then starting a small family of their own.
It is precisely because everything is going well in your relationship without any flaws that the "emotional threshold" in your heart is lowered.
The ex is your cinnabar mole that makes you uneasy;
The current one is your white moonlight and gives you peace of mind.
In other words:
The reason why a person can't forget his ex is not because of love, but because he is unwilling.
When a person is immersed in obsessions and memories, he only becomes more and more miserable.
There is a saying that goes this way:
"What you can't get is always in turmoil, and you won't cherish it after you get it."
Think about it, are people like this in their relationships?
By understanding this truth, you can understand the true meaning of opposite-sex relationships.
When talking to the opposite sex, always leave three points.
For example:
The two of you have a good chat, you are comfortable with each other, and when the conversation is high, don't continue the conversation.
What you should do is to end the chat in time, find a suitable reason to tell the other person, and continue the conversation next time.
What is the purpose?
First: Delay the "exhaustion period" of your relationship
Any relationship goes through a process of decline, especially novelty and love.
Secondly: talking too much will consume more energy, and the atmosphere and feeling of chat will be reduced.
Finally: end the chat at the most hilarious point to deepen the impression of the opposite sex on you.
If you say something once, then what can you talk about next time?
Some things, if all of them are done in a short period of time, then how should the two of you get along next?
-02
The attraction of opposite-sex relationships stems from a "sense of proportion"
How to make the opposite sex addictive to you?
To put it bluntly, it is "hanging".
Hang each other's appetite, hang each other's emotions, so that he can feel "prodded" by you all the time.
What is your chat?
It is a means to deepen feelings and enhance understanding.
In the later stages of your relationship, effective communication is your means of maintaining love.
So, be sure to maintain a sense of proportion.
For example:
If you exposed all your hole cards in the early days of your relationship, would you say he would be more curious about you?
A person's greatest charm is his own mystery.
The more mystical you are, the more attractive you are to the opposite sex.
Therefore, you need to learn to maintain a sense of proportion.
How to do it?
First: There are some things that you don't do all at once
Like what:
You date the opposite sex.
The first time you meet, you take him to dinner, watch a movie, go for a walk.
The second time you meet, you can take him around the scenic area and visit different attractions.
The third time you meet, you take him to try different cuisines, interesting landmarks.
Every date, you don't need to do much, but let him feel a different atmosphere and mobilize his emotions.
And after the date is over, leave him in suspense:
"I'll take you somewhere else next time, but I can't tell you in advance."
To create suspense is to make him curious.
By capturing the curiosity of the opposite sex about you, you also capture love.
Second: to be close, but also to remain independent
The best way to get along must be: harmony and difference.
We love each other, but we are also separate individuals.
People are used to using "pursuit" and "love" together.
Pursue love, pursue people you like.
Here, pursuit is action and love is the end (result).
Only by maintaining the process of pursuit, love can always be fresh;
Once the pursuit is stopped, love will gradually go to the road of extinction.
This is because the attraction is reduced.
When the opposite sex is together, if you get too close, do not give each other a little free space and time; It won't be long before you hate each other.
From "not tired of looking at each other" to "how to see how to hate it".
Only by maintaining a sense of distance, maintaining a sense of proportion, and accepting the fact that each other is also independent can we get along with each other in a better way.
In fact, love should not pursue "perfection" the most.
Because only unfinished, only unfulfilled, will become a scene that cannot be erased from your memory.
Today's Topic:
When you get addicted when talking to the opposite sex?
(Article with picture source network)