Text/Coriander
A good marriage is a happy destination for both men and women. A bad marriage is a burden for two people.
Some people say that the best model of marriage is as sweet as first love.
Others argue that the best model for marriage is to make each other feel comfortable.
In contrast, I agree more with the second view.
Sweet as first love, that is unrealistic. Everyone in marriage knows that married life is trivial, and there are many kinds of things. Moreover, there are many more relationships to manage in marriage than when you are in love.
That's why some people say that love is two people, and marriage is two families. In a marriage relationship that involves more human contact, it is not easy to keep it as sweet as the first love. Moreover, as two people live together for a longer time, the stronger the sense of familiarity with each other, the two people will only get along more and more familiar, and it is almost impossible to return to the feeling of first acquaintance.
However, it is precisely because they become more and more familiar with each other and then slowly form habits that the husband and wife model is stable.
In a marital relationship, as the time spent living together lengthens, some contradictions inevitably occur. This is because two people who originally lived in different spaces came together and began to live together for a long time. This run-in process cannot be harmonious all the time.
After all, people have their own personalities. Even gentle people will have times when they lose their temper. In the run-in between character and character, some people are harmonious, and some people are bloodied against each other.
Harmonious couples can experience the true meaning of happiness and the beauty of life from marriage; the final outcome of discordant couples is the divorce or seeming separation we can see.
The ideal marriage model is that two people can feel more and more inseparable from each other in the life of marriage; in the process of getting along with each other, they can feel comfortable and comfortable, so that people can relax physically and mentally.
Yes, the feeling of comfort and relaxation was the best. This feeling, or between friends, can be more possible, because of that kind of relationship, there is no day and night, and there are fewer shortcomings that can be seen.
But in marriage, what can be felt like this is a better sense of happiness. Because, after all, husband and wife are different from friends, friends are dispensable, but becoming a husband and wife is a partner in life and a "comrade-in-arms" who jointly assumes family responsibilities. Therefore, there are not many people who can make the other person feel comfortable in the married life.
Many times, because of the fine fragments of life, the pressure of the economy will often make people nervous. Under all kinds of pressure, the object of the person who can be released the most is the spouse or parent. In such a pressure release, there is often more pressure on the released object.
Over time, people's psychology cannot be loaded. This is also one of the reasons why the longer the marriage, the worse the relationship between the husband and wife.
And people who can create a comfortable mood for their partners, whether men or women, are very wise.
We often say: a hundred years of cultivation can be crossed by the same boat, and a thousand years of cultivation can sleep together.
Being able to share a bed is the fate of a thousand years. But even if the fate of husband and wife is deep, it is only a few decades. If you can think of this, when you enter the marriage, you will cherish the person in the marriage.
Giving each other a sense of comfort is not only the creation of the environment, but also the creation of psychology. The human heart is a very sensitive organ. The touch of the mind is also very delicate. A small action, a warm or mean language, can make the other party's psychology have different feelings.
Therefore, some people say that those who can create comfort for their partners are generally people with good personalities.
There is some truth to this. After all, people with better personalities will also have better tempers. In the relationship between husband and wife, the person who does not lose his temper easily is the main person who creates a comfortable atmosphere.
In surveys on marriages, couples with better personalities also had relatively few divorce rates. Or, because of a better personality, it is more able to deal with things calmly when facing them, rather than impulsive and extreme.
There is indeed such a phenomenon in reality. There are two couples: one couple, the woman's personality is very good, the man's personality is not good, but it is not bad; and the other, both men and women belong to the kind of temper.
The previous couple, the quality of the marriage is high because they rarely quarrel. Although on the surface they are all very peaceful and dull people, those who know them well know that their home is often full of laughter, and the whole family is very harmonious.
The latter couple often quarreled, and even fought. Because of his big temper and big voice, he will jump when he quarrels. How can such a quality of marriage be good?
I remember a male friend talking about his wife. He said: "She's not that kind of beautiful woman, but her personality fascinates me, and I feel comfortable around her, not at all stressed. The more she did this, the more I couldn't leave her.
Therefore, the best model of marriage is not how much money there is, how high the social status is, how much male and female appearance, but how easy and comfortable to get along with, everything is talked about.