Wen | Zhu Shengyong
I've heard many wives cry and complain, "My husband took that woman to his house, and they all met their parents, are they sure to get married?" ”
I would say, it's not.
There are many reasons why a man brings his lover home, but it does not mean that he will divorce and marry a lover, just as the probability of divorce after an affair is very low.
Today, let's analyze it, men take their lovers home to meet their parents, and their feelings are stable?
First, she went to see her with the mentality of asking for an explanation.
Some men have been dating their lovers for four or five years, and the lover has been with him since he just graduated, until she was 30 years old, and she did not have a letter, she was in a hurry, so she stalked and let the man take her to see her parents, and the man had no other way but to bring it back.
She went with a belly fire.
At this time, she didn't even know the purpose of seeing them, she just wanted to ask for approval, or she wanted to see how the man was doing, she might not be ready to meet the other person's parents, and she would end up embarrassed.
Second, she was pregnant.
This lover is pregnant, and she does not want to beat up the child, so she wants to use the child to compete for favors, to see if the other parent will accept him, but this becomes a tool for their family to pass on the generations.
Even if they do get married, the marriage is most likely not going to be happy.
Moreover, his parents will even have the psychology of taking advantage of "another woman who wants to give birth to our son, give birth, our family has the conditions to raise, this woman loves as much as she wants."
In the face of this situation, do you think the lover will be happy later?
At that time, the man's parents would also look down on her and would look for various problems.
Third, soothe the lover's emotions.
Many men in order to be loyal to their lover, will offer to take her to see their parents, but this does not mean that they recognize the lover, for most men, this can only show that he is guilty of his lover, he wants to use this method to offset the guilt in his heart.
So the parents moved out to soothe the lover's emotions.
Fourth, test the parents' reactions.
This man knows that this situation is not allowed in his family, but he still has the mentality of luck, he wants to take his lover to see his parents' reaction first, and he will act according to the eyes.
If his parents are lukewarm and lukewarm, with a look of "we don't care about your affairs", he will become more and more arrogant and continue to pedal two boats, and if his parents do not allow it, then he may continue this underground affair.
Fifth, look at the performance of the lover and examine the lover.
This man wants to see how you react to his family, he wants to see if you listen to him, see what attitude you have and whether it's easy to control you.
At that time, men will generally introduce her like this: "This is my colleague, has always cared about me, have a meal together today", but the lover does not notice, she will also feel that this is the performance of men loving her, and feel that men have slowly accepted her.
Sixth, he didn't take you seriously.
There is also a situation, that is, the man wants to see his parents, but he has just had a conflict with his wife recently, and he feels that it does not matter whether he brings a lover or not, but in order to make the lover move, he still brings it, and when introduced, he tells his parents "This is my friend, she has not been to the mountains, I take her for a walk."
Can this ambiguous answer show that a man loves her? It just means that he still doesn't want to expose your relationship and that he doesn't take your feelings seriously.
Seventh, men force the palace in reverse.
There are also some men who bring their lovers to see their parents and say to their parents, "I'm divorced, I don't want my wife, I want to marry this woman, you don't have to help my wife talk."
Originally, this man wanted to force his wife, but his parents were on his wife's side, so he picked this matter together.
But this is rare.
Eighth, he was trying to trick his lover.
When some people see the man's face, she wants to quit, the man is not allowed, so he uses a very low-cost method, does not need to pay money, does not need to face his wife, and can make the lover believe again.
The lover may feel that "he brought me home, indicating that his family has recognized me, then we can get married soon", the more the lover has this mentality, the more proud the man is.
There are many purposes for men to bring lovers to see their parents, maybe their family style itself is not right, he just takes you back to show his parents "see how good I am, so many women want to marry me", so, before determining his purpose money, lovers do not want to be happy too early.
Author: Zhu Shenyong, Fudan MBA, founder of the School of Marriage Management, author of the best-selling book "Governance of Extramarital Affairs"