Wen | Zhu Shengyong
Many women want to know how to establish their position in the family, how to make themselves irreplaceable, and if you want to establish your position, you have to do things like a CEO, so that your status will never be low.
I coached a client, she was very virtuous, the house was well-groomed, and she responded to her husband's needs, but her husband was very dismissive of her, I asked her husband why, and he said something.
Once he was eating out with his colleagues, it was very late, the colleagues were called away by his wife one by one, only he stayed with a single colleague until the end, at that moment, he felt that his wife did not love him at all.
But what pained him was that he couldn't fault his wife, cooked deliciously, washed his clothes cleanly, worked hard and complained, and if she didn't love him, she wouldn't give it so much.
In fact, there are many such women in life, they don't know what is the core thing in marriage, do you think it is to do housework? Take care of your kids? No.
Today we will talk about how women can establish their family status.
First, shape the role of the husband into a pillar type.
You have to do a good job of family division of labor and shape the role of each person. Shape your husband into a pillar of the family, let him see his own value, and when he is seen and recognized, he will be more willing to pay.
That way he'll work on the blueprint you've built.
If you use a man as a cash machine and keep taking money from him without being recognized and respected, he will feel lost, feel that he is not recognized, and when he has emotional scarcity, his mind will drift outward.
Second, let the husband participate in the construction of the family.
Family building here is mainly involved in housework, childcare, etc., don't think that these things are all things that women should do. If you deprive a man of the right to build a family, he will be even less likely to belong.
I tutored a client, she is a more traditional thinking, adhere to the male outside the female inside, and men can not coax the child, when she just gave birth, her husband wants to hold the child more, but she and the mother-in-law said "you are outside all day, there are many bacteria on the body, do not touch the child", "you a big man coax the child to do, you make good money on the line."
So, their children are five or six years old, and the number of times this man holds the child is countless. So the child didn't kiss him at all, and he was depressed. Then a woman said to him, "I can give you a baby," and he really got along with this woman.
Third, respect and support your husband.
A woman who knows how to respect, support, and trust her husband will never be too bad after marriage, because men are face animals, he likes women's dependence and worship, when the wife can give him this emotional value, he is satisfied in his heart, and no one will interfere in your marriage.
Fourth, women must have a bottom line.
Some women enter marriage, think that only good for their husbands, he will not deviate, so some people have no bottom line, there is no idea in life, in the long run, it means that all the decision-making power in the family has been handed over to the husband, and when the man needs a right-hand man, she can't do it.
When a man deviantly derails, her idea is "as long as he doesn't mention the divorce, he'll come home sooner or later", which condones the man's behavior.
In the eyes of a man, this kind of wife is the most worthless, and he will not respect you.
Fifth, there is the confidence of divorce.
In the man's mind, the wife can't live without himself, so he will mess around, and the wife will not file for divorce anyway.
However, daring to divorce is not to let you mention divorce every day, but when the other party steps on your bottom line, you can fight back strongly, and the other party still does not repent, you can really divorce.
Sixth, dare to be absent.
In many families, a woman not only has her own job, but also has to do housework and take care of the children when she returns home, even if she has a cold, she will not let go of these things.
Women should understand that if you don't clean for a few days, don't take care of your children, don't cook, the home can still run, and the children and husbands won't starve to death.
When you've been doing these things since you were married, men will feel comfortable enjoying these services.
This is why I said to the students of the offline class, "No matter whether your home is close to the place of the class, you don't want to go home these days", only in this way can your husband compare the difference between you at home and not at home, and he knows how to be grateful.
Seventh, put the relationship between husband and wife in the first place in the construction of marriage.
I ask you a question, if you are divorced, you do not want to leave, you have to consider what the reason is.
I believe that many people's first reaction is "I can't let the child be hurt, I can't let him in a single-parent family", this kind of person is to put the child in the first place in the relationship.
What are the consequences of this? It is that you will ignore your husband, and if the man is ignored, he will run out.
Author: Zhu Shenyong, Fudan MBA, founder of the School of Marriage Management, author of the best-selling book "Governance of Extramarital Affairs"