Wen | Zhu Shengyong
First, respect your wife.
After entering a marriage, many couples will have differences because of the contradictions of getting along, such as two people's eating habits are different, two people's tastes are different, and then they quarrel over what to eat.
If a man does not understand the differences between husband and wife, does not know how to respect each other's differences, and often hits her with the point of view of right and wrong, it is difficult for others to get along with you.
When you respect each other's differences, respect the truth that the other person shows, and allow her to live and exist in the way she likes, then your marriage will have fewer quarrels.
Second, learn to praise your wife.
There is a famous saying that "I can live for three months with just one word of praise", which shows how powerful praise is.
At the bottom level, praise is a kind of identification, and when you express this identity, she will feel that she has been seen, that she has been appreciated, that you understand her, that you have your heart sealed.
I often say that you can transform the identity of others into self-identification, and this is when healing occurs and your emotional connection is further deepened.
When she feels that her efforts are seen, she will also be more willing to give, because she feels that no matter what she does, her husband will accept and understand her, which is the positive cycle of good feelings for husband and wife.
In such a situation, you have to think about it, is this wife she is particularly hard? She does everything with vigor, and when she does anything, she thinks my husband will approve of me anyway.
Some men may feel that belittling their wives and hitting their wives can make their wives feel their own abilities and let their wives recognize him, but on the contrary, this will only make their wives open the defense mechanism, and they will be very painful.
A man who likes to belittle his wife will only make this woman less and less confident, more and more feel that she has failed, that she is useless, and that she is not pleasing to her husband at this time.
When you can praise each other and appreciate each other from the bottom of your heart, then the community of your marriage can be built better and better, and you can give each other energy.
You must know that all women hope that their marriage is happy, that they all hope that their relationship with their husbands will be good, and that they hope to pay and contribute to the family.
Never let her give more by hitting her.
Third, give your wife face.
Many men want their wives to give themselves more face, especially in front of his friends. In this way, he will feel as if he is stronger than his wife, so that he can show that he is a man.
Sometimes in order to show that she is very sweet with her husband in front of her friends, she may let her husband tie her shoelaces and carry a bag, but the man feels that "you make me unable to get off the stage, let me have no face, I don't do it", and then the two people go home and start arguing.
In fact, a mature man is not so vulnerable, is it faceless to tie his wife's shoelaces? Mature men also have a strong sense of self-identity, he also knows what is most important to him, he is not afraid of other people's eyes, and he does not need the approval of others to get a sense of high value.
This is a man with a sound personality, mature mind, stable and reliable.
Fourth, know how to be grateful to your wife.
A man who knows how to be grateful is more likely to feel the happiness in marriage, and his marriage will be happy and satisfying.
Most of the successful men, in fact, behind the wife is silently supporting the family, she paid a lot for the whole family, some women originally had a good career, in order to support the husband, she was willing to be a full-time wife, take care of the children at home, wash and cook for men, take care of interpersonal relationships and so on. Without these efforts from his wife, it is impossible for a man to devote himself to his career.
But some people can't see this, he doesn't know how to be grateful, and when he chats with his partners in his career, he will say that he is very strong and complains that his wife has dragged him down.
After a man learns to be grateful, he can be grateful to his wife from the bottom of his heart, and their marriage can have strength.
Fifth, we can see the value of our wives.
Some men in order not to let others know their past unbearable, he is afraid that after others know, they will be looked down upon, so he will say all the credit as his own, and push those unbearable and mistakes to his wife.
If you want her to rekindle hope in marriage and make her change her mind, see her worth.
Author: Zhu Shenyong, Fudan MBA, founder of the School of Marriage Management, author of the best-selling book "Governance of Extramarital Affairs"