Cultivate the most interesting and practical psychology every day
There is a proper noun in psychology: gender roles, which we can usually understand as "psychological gender", a feature that animals possess, and is also the original basis for the gender distinction between men and women in humans, which is an extremely stable part of the individual, in order to explain the vast diversity of women, just as we cannot determine the true attributes of an individual through a person's appearance.
In society, our perception of men is usually "physical animals", and the criteria for choosing a mate and interacting are judged by appearance.
Evolutionary psychology believes that "the opposite sex attraction that helps reproduce is in line with human needs, which is an instinctive choice and demand for mate selection, but in the actual evolutionary process, humans have higher levels of need than reproduction." ”
Jumping out of society from the academic perspective of psychology, even to this day, men of all ages still have a strong demand for women who are superior in appearance. But youth is fleeting, only by recognizing their own characteristics and maintaining their own charm can they retain their partner's passion.
The way to determine a female charm index is not to rely on simple appearance, although women's charm can be reflected through the appearance, but it is only superficial, unable to explore its depth of charm.
The important factors that determine a woman's true attractiveness are nothing more than her personal qualities, personal behavior guidelines, way of thinking, lifestyle, worldview, outlook on life, etc.
From the perspective of psychology, women with these three characteristics are "cinnabar moles" that men are difficult to put down.
Confident and independent
Attractive women usually have a strong sense of self-confidence and independence, and have a high sense of self-affirmation, sufficient confidence, and a humble personality, so that they have a strong sense of self-confidence in life and work.
From a psychological point of view, such women usually have a better original family atmosphere, and gradually establish their own value and charm under the influence of the family environment.
Through the accumulation of wealth and experience in the later stage, he gradually improves his self-charm and self-confidence, but he has a calm self-confidence and a sense of independence that is not humble.
As YiShu once said, "A true lady never shows off everything she has." And such a feature is also the "cinnabar mole" that men cannot leave in their hearts.
Strive and be grounded
The demands of society force women to gradually improve their own values and abilities, and they no longer have a very low social status like the patriarchal society in traditional Chinese society.
A firm and confident sense of endeavor will not only make women strengthen their own value, but also exude charming charm, improve their life pursuits in the process of self-independence, and subtly expand their attraction to men.
In this process of development, women gradually recognize themselves, recognize society, and understand their own needs and goals. Not pursuing a virtual life with high seas and a firm and steady balance is also a major feature of female charm.
High cultivation, high emotional intelligence
In gender psychology, there is a "bisexual" cognition, and the traditional definition of masculinity and femininity will give people a sense of arrogance, excessive definition and sense of boundaries, but narrow the development of gender. Only by breaking through the limitations of traditional gender can we diversify the possibilities of defining women.
In the "Chinese Poetry Conference", Dong Qing's tenderness and dignity give people the feeling of spring breeze, and the rich connotation gives her a unique temperament, incarnating into Yan Ruyu in reality. The arrogance and insight shown by Dong Mingzhu, chairman of Gree, also shows her temperament like a boy.
Under the definition of traditional culture, freely developing women have more room to choose themselves, and the cognition of "intersexuality" also allows women to be diverse.
But whether it is gentle or bold, in these women we can see their high temperament and high emotional intelligence, shaping their unique momentum.
In male emotions, from a traditional physiological point of view, men conquer women by conquering the world, and women conquer men by conquering the world, this type of women can assume their own gender roles, and can also adapt to changes in roles in terms of wives, mothers and children, daughters-in-law, etc.
Women with these traits usually have higher IQ and emotional intelligence, and the understanding and adjustment of men's psychological cognition is more accurate.
Therefore, if you want to become a unique "cinnabar mole" in a man's heart, you must first start to truly love yourself and know yourself, and the difficulties and emotional setbacks we encounter in life are actually reminding ourselves not to go against our own hearts.
Standing on the basis of the "female investment law", invest more development space and time into yourself, let yourself continue to improve, have high quality and high characteristics, and on the basis of becoming a male "cinnabar mole", you can also get a higher level of yourself.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Vogel, D. L., & Wester, S. R. (2003). To seek help or not to seek help: The risks of self-disclosure. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50(3), 351.