I once read such a story:
On a bustling snack street, a shabby-dressed lady stops in front of the stalls and munches on a variety of food tastings. Walking down a street, she didn't spend a penny, but she filled her stomach.
A boy next to him saw this scene and wanted to follow suit.
However, as soon as he stretched out his hand, he was severely stopped by his grandfather next to him.
The boy felt aggrieved, and his grandfather told him: "If you imitate her, you will develop a 'poor spirit', and once this 'poor energy' becomes a part of your life, it will be difficult to get rid of it, which will affect your future." ”
Children are lucky to have a transparent and sensible elder.
In reality, there are too many parents who are just the opposite, they will take their children to take advantage of all kinds of advantages, and they are complacent about it.
It's not that they're really stunning, but they're "poor-hearted" and used to being careful.
However, they don't know how much the poor spirit of their parents hurts their children.
01. Parents with poor hearts will make their children have a strong sense of "unworthiness"
Not long ago, there was a news on the hot search.
A boy in Qingdao, Shandong Province, searched for a barber shop on his mobile phone, and there was a group purchase price of 88 yuan for a haircut, and then asked his mother to accompany him to get a haircut, and the store also clearly marked the price of 138 yuan for cutting hair.
After the barber finished cutting, both the boy and the mother were satisfied. But when it came time to pay, the mother was furious and accused the other party of ripping off customers, saying that the child could cut his hair for a maximum of 20 yuan.
After arguing with the clerk to no avail, the mother didn't pay a penny and took her son away.
During the whole process, the son kept his head down and didn't say a word.
He must have been full of regret and shame. It is estimated that he will not want to go into a well-decorated store in the future, because he feels that he does not deserve good service.
Parents with poor hearts can only see the material gains and losses on the surface, but they can't see that these words and deeds will make the child's "sense of unworthiness" follow, so that the child becomes more and more inferior.
As the writer Edgar Bledsoe said: If a child sees himself as a "poor person" from an early age, he will be a "poor person" for the rest of his life.
02. Parents who are poor will cause their children to have a poor mentality
A netizen posted on Douban and told his story.
Since she was a child, her parents have warned her not to compare herself with others, and what she longs for is always seen as unnecessary expenses by her parents.
Slowly, she became more and more "sensible", never asking her parents, wearing the plain clothes that her mother had chosen for her, no snacks, no pocket money.
After earning money from her work, she began to shop uncontrollably, buying a lot of clothes, toys and snacks, even though she knew that most of these items would be left unused.
There is a concept of "overcompensation" in psychology, which refers to the fact that if a person feels deprived in childhood, they may overcompensate for that feeling in adulthood.
However, the sense of deprivation that develops in childhood cannot be fully filled by no amount of material in adulthood, and eventually becomes a hole in the heart that can never be filled.
03. Parents who are poor in heart bring deep insecurity to their children
In an episode of "Teenager Talks", a boy said that his mother always stressed that the family's financial situation was very bad, which made him anxious from time to time.
But in fact, the family is not poor, and parents are always worried that their children will spend money indiscriminately because they are "poor".
Everyone below was laughing, and few people noticed the helplessness and uneasiness of the boy when he said, "I often feel like I can't eat."
It's hard to imagine how much effort a child who is always anxious can have.
"Musical poet" Li Jian was obsessed with the guitar when he was in junior high school, and although his family was not wealthy at the time, his mother still spent a whole month's salary to buy him a guitar.
Later, Li Jian quit his glamorous and decent job for his music dream, and left the starry group due to incompatible concepts.
He made music at ease when he was sleepy, and treated it indifferently after he became popular.
And all this is because of the support given to him by his parents since he was a child, so that he dares to venture for his dreams.
Material poverty is not the most frightening, as long as the heart is rich, the child can still get enough security.
04. The best love is to enrich the child's heart
What kind of children are more likely to achieve happiness in life?
Not children who are high-achievers, talented, or well-off...... It's a child who is rich in heart.
Happiness does not lie in having more, but in caring less.
People with poor hearts find it difficult to be satisfied no matter how much they get, and naturally they cannot be happy.
How to raise children who are rich in heart?
(1) Do not bring the heaviness of life to children
In the movie "When Happiness Knocks on the Door", the male protagonist is poor and forced to stay in the subway station with his son one night.
He and his son fantasize about traveling back to ancient times, and then escaped to a cave (men's restroom) to escape the dinosaurs and spend the night in a cave.
This depressed night did not make my son feel helpless and panicked, but became a precious memory in his life.
The father never brings the heaviness of life to his children, so even if the family is poor, the son is still confident and generous.
(2) Give your child full love and support
The core need for everyone is to feel loved and safe.
"Peking University Girl" Wang Xinyi's family is extremely poor, and she is often ridiculed for her shabby clothes, but the family is very friendly.
No matter whether it was windy or rainy, her mother would pick her and her brother off by bicycle, talking and laughing all the way home.
No matter what she does, her parents believe in her and support her.
That's why she says "thank you for poverty" because it gives her the motivation to work hard.
(3) Parents themselves are rich in heart
There is a line in "Galaxy Cram School": "Parents are the mirror of their children, and children are the shadows of their parents." ”
Parents are generous, children will not be careful, parents are honest and upright, children do not like to take advantage of small advantages, parents are generous, children learn to share, parents are spiritually rich in children, children will also have self-esteem and self-love.
In the behavior of parents, the future of their children is hidden.
Parents should not limit their children's pattern because of their own scarcity, let alone carve "poverty" into their children's souls.