Written by / First Psychology Writers
Editor / Tommy
Karl Heinrich Marx argued,
An individual, who is called "healthy", should show some degree of selflessness, but at the same time maintain a certain degree of selfishness.
This view states that people should strike a balance between their own needs and the interests of others in their relationships with others.
If a person always unconditionally panders to the demands of others, regardless of the motives, this behavior may reflect that he has something wrong in some way.
Therefore, the word "selfish" does not always carry a pejorative connotation in the right context.
On the contrary, moderate self-interest is sometimes necessary to maintain an individual's health and mental balance.
However, those who are extremely selfish in life usually exhibit certain common characteristics.
They may lack care for others and only focus on their own interests.
This extremely selfish attitude not only harms others, but also causes damage to the harmony of society.
Psychologists point out that people who are extremely selfish often do not care, but have these three characteristics:
1. I like moral kidnapping, and personal interests come first
They tend to morally kidnap others and put their personal interests above everything else.
With the development of information technology, the public is becoming more familiar with this concept.
The so-called moral kidnapping refers to the fact that some people take advantage of the moral high ground to accuse and demand from others.
For example, in the TV series "Twenty Don't Confuse", the story of Jiang Xiaoguo and Wang Wei is a typical example.
Jiang Xiaoguo asked Wang Wei for the money she had lent her before because she wanted to change her mobile phone, but Wang Wei pretended to be pitiful to win sympathy, and in turn accused Jiang Xiaoguo of being vain.
This kind of behavior is to take advantage of the universal sympathy of society to carry out moral kidnapping.
2. Lack of empathy and paranoia of victimization
They are only concerned with their own interests and often harm others for their own interests.
In their opinion, people from the outside world are almost always "dangerous" or "untrustworthy".
For example, Cao Cao in "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" is a representative of this character.
He, thus showing his strong sense of self-protection and delusion of victimization.
All his actions are motivated by personal interests, and no matter how deep the feelings of those around him are with him, they can be harmed at any time.
While he tried his best to avoid harming himself, he often hurt others.
Dig deeper into the source to prevent potential problems.
It is often felt that when we first come into contact with people, we are more distant from each other, and we will be more polite and try to show the best in ourselves.
However, as they got to know each other better, their shortcomings began to show.
The same is true in many relationships, where at first both partners remain reserved, but gradually, they start to get bored with each other and even start to hate each other, which eventually leads to the breakdown of the relationship.
3. Why are people selfish?
The reason why people become selfish is that the formation of their character is closely related to their upbringing.
The selfish tendencies of the character are not innate, but are shaped gradually.
Li Meijin, a well-known psychologist, once analyzed the causes of selfish personality.
She noted,
This personality usually stems from the individual's excessive care during childhood. In such an environment, family members often attend to all the needs of the child and take almost no responsibility for the child.
When a child's sense of self is not yet fully developed, this kind of arrangement by parents may lead him to form the idea that he is the center of the universe and that everything should be centered around him.
Once this self-centered mindset is ingrained, it can be very difficult to change this deeply rooted self-centered attitude, even when the child is exposed to new ideas and ideas as an adult.
Once this mindset is formed in childhood, it is difficult to change this mindset, even in married life as an adult.
Therefore, in life,
Especially when thinking about getting married.
It is recommended to go to the other person's house for a meal and observe the behavior of the other party's parents;
If one of the spouses is not involved in household chores at all, consider it more (for both men and women). Don't be overly idealistic, because no one can change another person unless that person is willing to change himself.
In addition, for parents who like to spoil their children, I would like to give you a word of advice:
Moderate allows children to go through some difficulties, because it is only when they feel pain that they can truly understand and empathize with the pain of others.
A child's selfishness can be shaped, but an adult's selfishness is difficult to fundamentally change.
In the face of those who put their interests first, it is better to keep a certain distance to avoid unnecessary trouble.
The End -
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Keywords in this article: selfishness, psychology
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