There is a concept in psychology called overcompensation

Source: Hiphop Village

I believe that such a scene is not new to us:

• Adjust the temperature of the air conditioner, feel too cold for a while, turn it up, and soon feel too hot, and repeat it several times to find a moderate temperature;
• Every time at the beginning of the month, I make up my mind to be budget-conscious, but when the salary is received, I can't help but want to go to a restaurant for a big meal, or go on a shopping spree online;
• I managed to lose some weight after a few months of exercising and controlling my diet, but at a party I thought, "Just a small piece of cake shouldn't make a difference." However, when I got on the scale the next day, I regretted it.

These seemingly insignificant details of life, we are always deeply involved in them, and it is difficult to extricate ourselves.

This is not just a lack of self-control, but a deeper cause that is a natural reaction in the human heart, which we call "overcompensation".

The psychological phenomenon of "overcompensation" is like an invisible trap that allows us to go to the other extreme while trying to overcome our difficulties.

Today, let's explore this interesting and complex psychological concept rationally.

What is Overcompensation?

Overcompensation is an individual's behavior that goes beyond the normal range of coping in order to overcome a certain psychological or physical defect.

To put it simply, overcompensation is overkill.

For example, a child of short stature may practice basketball desperately, hoping to compensate for his lack of height with excellent technique on the court, and this effort is commendable.

However, when this behavior goes beyond a certain degree and becomes a paranoid pursuit, it can evolve into overcompensation.

What is the psychology behind overcompensation?

In fact, this is often closely related to the psychological motivation of the individual.

The desire for perfection, the desire to cover up one's own shortcomings, and the desire to be recognized by others are all intrinsic forces that drive us to overcompensate.

As Adler put it:

"Human beings have a tendency to pursue perfection, and this tendency drives us to constantly strive and surpass."

However, when this pursuit goes beyond the bounds of reason, overcompensation becomes a psychological defense mechanism, acting like a strong shield to protect our fragile hearts, but at the same time it can also carry a heavy psychological burden on us.

What are the effects and consequences of overcompensation

Compensatory psychology can be divided into positive compensatory psychology and excessive compensatory psychology.

From a positive point of view, positive compensatory psychology refers to a psychological mechanism in which individuals are aware of their own shortcomings, actively and actively carry out various adaptations and trainings, and finally achieve success.

It brings out the best in us and pushes us forward.

For example, a child with a stutter may be able to overcome his language barrier by practicing his speech repeatedly and eventually become a good speaker.

Excessive compensatory psychology refers to the individual's inability to face up to his or her own defects or deficiencies, forming a biased cognition, and failing to solve problems and promote his own growth with a positive attitude and way.

There are possible effects such as:

1. It leads to increased psychological pressure and is always in a state of tension;
2. affects our interpersonal relationships, because excessive pursuit often makes us neglect communication and understanding with others;
3. It can make our behavior paranoid and extreme, even going to the opposite side of things.

In order to get rid of humility, individuals seek another kind of satisfaction to cover up their inferiority complex in some way, and may transcend their inferiority complex by violating others, violating laws and disciplines, and sacrificing themselves.

For example, if you can't see others as better than yourself, you want to destroy other people's possession, or use illegal ways to obtain other people's things to satisfy your own vanity;

Lovelorn people vent their emotions on third parties, and even do things that harm others to achieve psychological balance;

Demanding, controlling, self-sacrificing parent/mother love that often says "you have to ......".

How to deal with overcompensation?

So, how should we deal with the psychological phenomenon of overcompensation?

First: Awareness.

First, we need to learn to recognize whether we or others are overcompensating.

This requires us to maintain a self-aware attitude and always pay attention to our mental state and behavior patterns.

When we find ourselves or others exhibiting excessive pursuit or bigotry in some way, we should be wary of signals that this may be overcompensating.

Second: Proper attribution.

One of the most important reasons why we fall into overcompensation in the face of one thing is attribution errors.

Different attribution methods will have different behaviors.

When we are faced with something, there are three different ways to attribute:

Attribution to oneself: When exploring the root of the problem, we will look for the cause from personal factors.

Attribution to others: Finding the cause of a problem from the other person or others when getting to the root of the problem.

Attribution to the environment: Believe that the cause of the problem is caused by environmental factors.

We can adjust our attribution tendencies so that we can face negative events correctly instead of overcompensating for them.

Third: respond positively.

(1) Adjust self-perception to adjust mentality

Recognizing our own shortcomings and accepting them is part of growing up so that we can look more objectively at our own and others' evaluations.

(2) Seek help from others.

Share your goals with friends, family, or colleagues and ask them for reminders and support if necessary.

This social support network helps to stay motivated and accountable.

(3) Establish a healthy mindset and behavior pattern.

We can enrich our life experience by cultivating hobbies, expanding our social circles, and focusing on physical and mental health, so as to reduce over-reliance and pursuit of one aspect.

(4) Establish a healthy reward mechanism

When a small goal is reached, give yourself an appropriate reward, but this reward should not be associated with overcompensatory behavior.

For example, you can choose to watch a movie, read a book, or take a short trip as a reward.

To sum it up

Overcompensation is a complex and interesting psychological phenomenon.

It can either bring out our potential or get us into trouble.

Each of us has different thoughts and opinions when facing the same thing, which will eventually lead to different behaviors.

In the workplace and at home, in order to maintain a mental or physical balance mechanism, coupled with emotions such as anxiety, fear, and low self-esteem, these different behaviors will fall into different overcompensation.

Maintaining a normal sense of "security" and avoiding overcompensation requires us to understand the following points:

First: Awareness

Second: Proper attribution

Third: respond positively