Wen | Zhu Shengyong
I've been managing marriages for 11 years and have found that a lot of women like to punish their husbands with divorce. If you really want to punish him with divorce, the premise is that you have to divorce first.
Some women often sacrifice their property rights in order to divorce, or even give up custody of their children, at the cost of divorce.
Originally, she hadn't thought about divorce, but divorcing in order to punish men would give rise to other problems.
When you divorce, you will enter a state of calm.
After calming down, you will feel that he has not been punished, and he is still casually looking for other women to fall in love.
At this time, you rent a house alone, with children, living hard alone, and no job.
And your ex-husband lives in his own house, drives a car, has everything, and he immediately found a woman who is younger than you after the divorce, and the two of them live in doubles, and the days are not happy.
When you see this, you begin to panic, psychological imbalance, chicken flying dog jumping, and even self-doubt, "Where am I punishing him?" It is all about fulfilling him."
There is an old Saying in China, when a person reaches middle age, he will be promoted to a rich and die wife, and what you have done just makes his dream come true, and he has experienced the pleasure of "getting rich and divorcing", which is the most wonderful dream of a middle-aged man.
And then you wonder how this man can do that? Don't have any thoughts? Doesn't he know I love him? I divorced him because I loved him so much.
If you regret it when you divorce and think about remarrying, he will only respond arrogantly to you "look at your performance".
Such an approach is simply aiding and abetting abuse, and he will only intensify it.
When you are not divorced, you can still go to war with him, he thinks you are very powerful, and may be able to lower him.
Now that you're divorced from him, he gives you a "Look at your performance, I'll consider whether I want to remarry you, if you don't behave well, I can't remarry you." ”
Then you calm down and think about how you should behave.
Originally, you were dissatisfied with many aspects of him, such as he engaged in extramarital affairs, he was a mother or a foolish filial piety man, he was related to the AA system in property, he had domestic violence against you, and he often socialized until three in the middle of the night before returning home.
Now what do you do to make him feel that you are doing well? You enter a state of entanglement again, "Otherwise, let's live together first, divorce and don't leave home."
Divorce does not leave home, he can enjoy both your services and the outside world.
So, if a woman wants to punish a man with divorce, it's ridiculous.
Divorce is based on the fact that your marriage has broken down. Divorce is that I am not with you, I am desperate for you, your past good and bad, from then on a write-off, I just left.
Divorce makes me live as I want, let me no longer be trapped in the abyss, let me no longer stay in purgatory, but also let the child not be hurt in this distorted environment, physically and mentally healthy, happy growth, divorce can also let you each easily liberate, to create wealth together.
If your relationship has not broken down, I do not recommend that you divorce, starting a war is the right thing to do, and the process of starting a war is also the biggest punishment for this man.
If you want to punish a man, you are at war with him, because when you go to war, he will see your bottom line, see your dignity, see your confidence, see your courage, and see your means.
Not only that, but he's going to have to deal with your battles of all sizes, he's going to get caught up in the heels, he's going to start thinking about you, and he's going to be under pressure.
These are punishments for him, especially psychological punishments.
In the course of the war, he may have ceded his property in order to beg for forgiveness, which in turn was a financial punishment for him.
What you want to punish a man is to go to war with him, that is, to have strategic deployment, to have tactical play, to have steps, to have goals, to have tasks.
In this way, you can continue to go to war, so that you can open up all the card points in your husband and wife relationship and knock out the arrogant atmosphere between husband and wife.
You have a dialogue in a more reciprocal, equal state, and that's the key.
Therefore, a woman must have means, and this man will be obedient.
Author: Zhu Shenyong, Fudan MBA, founder of the School of Marriage Management, author of the best-selling book "Governance of Extramarital Affairs"