The following is the text:
Author: Reading Jun
Recently, I found that my son was losing his appetite every day and looking very worried.
My son is in the third year of junior high this year, and in a few months it will be the middle school entrance examination, and in this state, the designation is not listed in the key high school.
When he returned from school on Friday, his son was more sullen than usual, slamming the bedroom door and shutting himself in his room.
Maybe the son encountered something troublesome?
I cut a plate of fruit and knocked on my son's door, intending to have an in-depth conversation with him.
This does not communicate do not know, a communication only to find:
It turned out that the son had vaguely signs of early love!
01
At the beginning of the third year of junior high school, the teacher lined up the students in the class according to the rank, and the son's grades were not bad, sitting in the middle.
Xiao Jing, the son's table mate, is a beautiful girl, and the two get along well and can learn and discuss with each other.
From the beginning of the school year, the son's results can be described as a leap forward, from about 200 grades to the top 100.
We were all happy for him, thinking that our son was finally "enlightened".
However, things could not be smooth sailing, and in a monthly exam after the midterm exam, his son's grades slipped and he began to become taciturn.
My child and his father both comforted him: It doesn't matter, the competition in the third grade is big, it is normal to have floating, and the next time you try, it will be good.
But the son is still the same look that no one wants to take care of, and every day when he comes home, he shuts himself in the door.
Before I once thought that it must be the decline in grades that affected his mood, until this chat with him, I didn't know that it was because he and Xiao Jing had a conflict!
The son's original words were probably like this:
During that time, I was a bit like a doping agent and studied very hard.
Xiao Jing often asked me questions, and I asked that every exercise I had done could be spoken fluently.
That way when she asks me, I can give her a lecture and I enjoy the process.
Every day after I come home from the evening study, I will sort out today's study content again, and I am especially looking forward to the rise of the sun the next day, so that tomorrow I can talk to her again.
Mom, I seem to like Xiao Jing.
No wonder his son's grades have soared all the way, it turns out that it is because his son has someone he likes!
As for the recent period of time, the reason for absent-mindedness and declining grades is because a quarrel with Xiao Jing has not been reconciled, and due to the transfer of ranking seats, Xiao Jing is no longer at the same table!
02
After listening to my son's ups and downs in the past six months, as an old mother, I have mixed tastes.
There is happiness, there is worry, there is touch, and the heart is very conflicted.
On the one hand, I found that my son, who had grown up unconsciously, was no longer the kid who carried Ultraman around.
He has his own adolescent troubles, has his favorite girl, has self-management skills, and has grown towards excellent adults in all aspects.
On the other hand, this so-called "enjoying the lecture to girls" is actually a crush with a certain self-esteem component.
Because of the contradiction between the two, the son thinks about everything about the girl all day long, thinking about whether he can return to the way he was before, which is beyond reproach, in this most critical junior high school, which seriously affects his son's learning.
There was a little touch in my heart, because my son was willing to share his troubles with me and to talk to me about his thoughts.
In fact, after listening to my son at night, my heart was clucking.
Among most adolescent boys and girls I've ever met, there are too many cases where their grades plummet as a result of early love and eventually ruin their futures.
I am deeply afraid that my son will be trapped in such an endless emotion, unable to extricate himself and self-destruct his future.
Fortunately, my son realized early on that this ignorant feeling is actually the feeling of first love; it is only in the stage of confusion and self-awareness, and there is still a chance to save.
After tossing and turning in bed, I decided to pick up a pen late at night and write a letter to my son.
03
My Teenager:
Good evening, it's 2:30 a.m., please allow mom to call you "teenager", because mom has found that my son has entered the most beautiful flower season.
After my mother seriously recalled your conversation with me today, I found that your worst trouble at present is that you are full of thoughts and reconciled with Xiao Jing, and want to be at the same table with her, as before, right?
My teenager, unconsciously, you are already tasting a fruit called "like", and you have begun to have your own aesthetic and the girl you like.
Your mother never wanted to criticize you for falling in love at a young age, after all, at your age, your grandmother was already married to your grandfather; and your mother, like you, had a favorite object, that is, your father.
Whether it is a relationship or your crush, it is actually a normal social activity, because your age is in the most emotional period.
We all yearn for a beautiful, hard-working and motivated person, just like you said, looking forward to seeing her, just like looking forward to the sun rising the next day.
And all your thoughts about Xiao Jing, like being thirsty to drink water, are very strong impulses, and the outside world can't stop them.
So, Mom decided to face this wonderful first love with you and let us spend your adolescence gently together.
What mom wants to tell you is that you still have one homework failure, and that is the ability to balance feelings and learn self-management.
You who are in a crush, when you are happy, can move forward and work hard for love;
And once you encounter something bad in love, you are like a frosted eggplant, and you are lost.
That's the best way you can fail to balance the two.
Love management this homework, my mother hopes that you can slowly self-study in the process of growing up, from this incident, learn to manage your emotions, and adjust the state in time.
In the future, when you fall in love with a certain girl, you will not be caught off guard by a moment of excitement, and gradually learn to understand a person's emotions and thoughts by observing the language and actions of others.
Perhaps, you will encounter such a situation as this, the two people have a conflict, it is even more necessary for you to learn how to correctly resolve the conflict.
Of course, now you are just in unrequited love, so you have to adjust yourself more.
Mom believes that between you and Xiao jing, there must be no contradiction that you have to "break off sex", if you are doing wrong, then you will find an opportunity to formally apologize to her;
If she's wrong, you, as a boy, find her more generously and tell her that you don't take it to heart anymore.
Mom has always believed in you, has already had a mature mind, knows when to do something, should not do anything, you will reconcile with Xiao Jing, and hide this "crush" feelings in your heart, turn like into motivation, right?
Finally, my mother wanted to say a few more words of her own feelings.
We people in this life, like fish, we have different ponds at different stages of life, and what we are doing in this life is to continue to work towards a larger pond and eventually swim into the endless sea.
At present, for you, the bigger pond is the city's key high school, or even the key university, I believe that with Xiao Jing's results, you can easily go to school, and you?
In order to be able to be in a big pond with Xiao Jing, shouldn't you work hard for it and study hard?
Mom has no objection to you liking her, but Mom prefers that when you graduate from high school, you can stand by her side with honor and integrity as a good man.
Therefore, what you should do now is to continue to study hard to see more beautiful poetry and distant places!
Come on, boy!
Love your mom
04
When the adolescent boy and girl first open their love sinuses, there is a good chance that the children will have a good feeling for the excellent opposite sex, and the parents have crowned them with the notoriety of early love.
The so-called early love is nothing more than the shackles that adults strongly buckle on their children.
Adolescent love, there is no right or wrong, there is no morning or evening.
Rather than worrying about their children's early love, it is better to worry that early love may cause a decline in academic performance.
There is an indisputable fact that:
Those who have delayed learning because of early love will be delayed without early love learning, but "early love" has become another reason.
There are too many temptations for adolescent boys and girls, games, novels, star chasing, etc., and early love is just one of them.
No matter what it is, if you want your child to "get on the right track", the most important thing is the correct guidance of parents.
Turning blockage into slack is the only way to solve the temptations of early love. Children are not prisoners, they also have their own privacy, do not stare at him all the time, let alone guard against him.
Be sure to teach children to protect their own and others' bodies, both boys and girls. The sooner you tell him about this, the better.
Don't stand against your child, and don't deny it completely. The rebellion of adolescent children, for the sake of fantasy of the sea of dry stones, far beyond your imagination. Trying to change the parent-child relationship is the choice of wise parents.
Adolescent boys and girls have more abundant emotional needs, and if the family does not give enough love, they are likely to look for it elsewhere.
Care more for him, affirm him, let his soul be relied on, naturally there will be no excessive desire for the opposite sex.
If one day, you find that your child is in love early and affects learning, it is necessary to pay attention to the method of intervening from it.
Rather than focusing on children's early love, priority is given to grades. Pay attention to why his grades have dropped, find ways to make him improve his grades, you should feel empathy, and compare hearts to hearts.
And if one day, you find that your child is in love early, but it has not affected learning, then let him go.
Never underestimate the determination and secondary two abilities of adolescent children, they will pay ten times or a hundred times more energy for this beautiful relationship between each other, to learn and grow more courageously.
After all, the agreement between two children that "we will go to the same university" is the most beautiful agreement between the children of "early love" and each other.
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