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When you are in love, always see the lover full of advantages, and even think that the other party is perfect and impeccable, feel that your relationship is incomparably beautiful and sacred, then you may be making a mistake that many people in love are prone to make:
Feel like you're in love with someone with no flaws.
The other party's thoughtfulness, details, taste, and timely help when you encounter difficulties make you like each other more and more, can't see that the other party has any problems, fall into the other party's charm vortex, and can't extricate yourself.
But in fact, how can someone be really perfect and have no shortcomings at all?
Some people tend to have this doubt after a breakup or after breaking a filter on their lover:
Why were you so attached to him in the first place? He is nothing special, why is he so infatuated?
In fact, in the early stages, you were only caught up in the psychological "halo effect", also known as the aperture effect.
That is to say, because of some of the outstanding characteristics and qualities of the other party, the correct understanding of other qualities is ignored, and it is obvious that this is a subjective impression of the point or partial generalization.
So when you like it, you will feel that the other person is impeccable;
And when you don't feel it, look back and find that the other party is actually not so good.
Two people are in love together, and it is indeed necessary to see each other's goodness, after all, only if you recognize each other in your heart, the other party can retain a good image in your mind and bring you attraction.
But everything is too late, too much recognition and too much recognition is not enough.
Too much recognition will make people become blind, because excessively elevating the level and position of the other party, will involuntarily lower themselves in front of the other party, feel that they are inferior to others, and produce inferiority psychology;
In addition, the other party may be proud and conceited because of your excessive recognition, putting yourself in a high position, so that you who are relatively low are easy to be disliked and degraded, and he will feel that you are not worthy of him.
This phenomenon is very common, and perhaps many people have experienced or are experiencing it.
Love is indeed easy to make people blind, all said, the eyes of the lover out of the West, at this time even if the other party has some great shortcomings, will be selectively ignored by you, in fact, everyone is mortal, but accidentally by you as a "god" like the existence.
So people in love, pay attention to posture, keep sane, maybe the other party does have a lot of good places, but also to look at objectively.
When you always feel that the other party has only advantages and flawlessness, then you should think about whether you have been poisoned by the "halo effect".
At this time, you can re-examine the other party and pay attention to whether you have a comprehensive enough view of the other party;
Or spend a little more time together to gain insight, and when you begin to realize the imperfections of the other person, if it is still acceptable, it means true love.
The halo effect, in the final analysis, is a certain prejudice against people or things, which makes people have a certain psychological or emotional dependence.
In fact, it also applies to people who have a crush, and people who fall into a crush often regard the crush as the light of the whole world and make themselves as small and humble as dust.
But people always have shortcomings, maybe you really have to be together, and you will find that the other party is actually an ordinary person.
Therefore, in the process of interpersonal communication, we must pay attention to overcoming the negative impact of the halo effect as much as possible, always keep a clear mind, and avoid a leaf obstacle.
Of course, because most people who fall in love have difficulty maintaining true sanity, they can only say that they can allow occasional "fall", but they must withdraw in time.
This article is original by [Lemon Psychology Classroom], pay attention to me, take you to learn more about psychological knowledge