Some time ago, at a party with a friend, a doctor friend told me something that really surprised me:
Xiaoli (pseudonym), 16 years old, from childhood to adulthood is a "well-behaved girl" in the large population, obedient and good grades. But since the beginning of high school, Xiaoli's whole person has changed - her grades have declined, she has missed class, and she has been invited to parents many times, and her parents think that all of this is caused by her early love affair with her table.
In the face of early love, Xiaoli's parents are trying their best to prevent it, and the teacher has also gently reminded the two in the class, and the discussion of the classmates makes Xiaoli very difficult to accept, and she begins to resist going to school and is scolded by her parents...
The heavy mental pressure overwhelmed her, and then refused to go out, refused to eat, sometimes crying, sometimes laughing, and her parents realized that something was wrong before taking her to the hospital.
Friends at a table, originally like early love like a flood beast, now after listening to the doctor's friend, they are even more scared! Their eyes were on the homeroom teacher friends at the same table.
"A friend of mine, his daughter has been in love with the same table for 2 years, they just didn't find out, until after stealing the forbidden fruit... How do you teachers find out that students fall in love early," the friend asked;
The class teacher friend pushed the glasses and said: "If the two children are in love early, there will definitely be some unusual behavior." As a class teacher for many years, I found that most of the children in the class who fell in love early love like to buy these 3 things. ”
Wear couple shoes
For most students, there are generally more school uniforms in school, and children in early love, in order to express their love, will choose to wear the same couple shoes, such as canvas shoes, sneakers, etc.
If in the class, two students of the opposite sex are found, often wearing the same style or the same color shoes, they will generally keep an extra eye to observe whether they have early love behavior.
Carry a couple bag
Many junior high school and high school students like backpacks, especially day students, if two children go to school and after school, always carry the same backpack, parents and teachers should keep an extra eye, to see if it is a coincidence or deliberate.
Wear a couples watch
In addition to wearing lovers' shoes and carrying couple bags, some students will choose to wear a couple's watch, after all, the watch is harmonious and confessed, for two people in love, a thousand words are not low "a table of heart".
Therefore, if you want to know whether your child has early love, parents and class teachers can observe their children from the above 3 points to see if their children have bought these 3 things.
02
If you find your own child and just happen to buy the above 3 things, please do not use a simple and rude way to beat the child, so as not to stimulate the child's shame and anger, and run into a catastrophe.
In addition, parents should not look at their children's laptops or mobile phones, just as a teacher told Wenwen Dad: check your child's mobile phone a few times, and you will get a child who does not trust you, never tells you what is going on, does not want to be intimate with you, sends a circle of friends to block you, and grows up to stay away from your child.
So, when it is found that the child has signs of early love, how should parents intervene correctly? Wen Wen dad combined with the suggestions of the class teacher friend and the doctor friend, summed up these points, interested friends can take a look:
The hat of "early love" cannot be casually buttoned on the child
The class teacher friend said: Children in adolescence are more rebellious in themselves, and their minds are more mature than when we were young, if they blindly rely on suppression, they will only let the children alienate you more and more, guard against you, and then you will know nothing.
For most children in adolescence, due to the maturity of sexual psychology, curiosity and want to approach the instincts of the opposite sex are very normal.
Therefore, when parents find that their children have signs of early love, the first thing to do is to calm their minds, and then find children to communicate well, listen to their children's ideas, let him know that parents are with him, and avoid casually putting the hat of "early love" on the child.
For early love, the doctor friend concluded: Early love, not a flood beast, is a green and precious fruit, rather than intercepting, it is better to channel!
Find early signs of love, blocking is better than thinning
Many parents who seem to have early love like a flood beast, when they find their children in early love, always can't help but have a stink or scolding, which is bound to strangle the "small flame" of early love in the cradle. As everyone knows, this can easily stimulate the child's shame and resentment, so as to do bad things.
Wen Wen's father saw such a case in the "Private Room Book for Adolescent Girls", when the mother found the "love letter" on her daughter's desk, she did not open it or ask her daughter, but a daughter wrote a letter.
In the letter, three things were written: First, congratulations to the daughter for growing up, as a mother, happy that her daughter has someone to love;
Second, he told his daughter that early love was sweet but also full of dangers, and told her daughter what the dangers were;
Third, the mother explained to her daughter what is love and what it has to do with marriage.
Finally, after reading her mother's letter, the daughter discussed with her mother what is worth giving love, and let her daughter know how to have self-respect, self-improvement and self-love.
Teacher Li Meijin also publicly suggested in this regard:
As a mother, you must play a good daughter's gossip girlfriend, you can talk to the adolescent girl, how did you look at your father in the first place, what are the advantages of your father, and what are the qualities of your body?
As a father, to do a good job in the spiritual guidance of his son, you can talk to your son about how he looked at his mother in the first place, what are the advantages of his mother, and what are the qualities?
When you don't know how to mention it to your child, Wen Wen Dad suggested that you can also write a letter to your child and express your worries through the letter.