microtherm
to be calm, self-controlled, knowledgeable and wise.
Author: Insight YY
After the hit drama "Crazy" caught fire, the actors also became popular.
Zhang Songwen's resume and articles are sought after;
The crazy donkey took advantage of the popularity to do a live broadcast to bring goods;
Gao Qilan, who wears gold wire glasses, has also rushed to the hot search many times because of her masculinity.
Only Zhang Yi is cold and deserted here, with no media interviews and no social interaction.
The popularity of the TV series seems to have nothing to do with him.
This reminds me of a quote from him earlier in the interview:
I'm not a person who likes the icing on the cake, the kind of bustle and bustle, once it gets cool it can be miserable.
So it's better to keep me cold all the time.
When we were young, we always thought that life was about steaming hot.
The pursuit of a lively circle of friends, luxurious food and clothing, glamorous work...
After middle age, I gradually understood that if people pursue vigor too much, they will eventually be overwhelmed.
Properly cool yourself down and live a low temperature life, so that you can throw away the burden and move forward lightly.
1
Social hypothermia
Two days ago on Douban, I saw a post @stormyrain by netizens.
Last year's Spring Festival, because of the release of the epidemic, friends who had not returned home for several years returned to their hometowns for the New Year.
Chinese New Year's Eve evening, various WeChat groups began to plan gatherings.
On the first day of the new year, he did not stay at home.
It's either busy playing cards and singing with Fa Xiao, or pushing glasses and changing glasses at the wine table with classmates.
Gathering after party, table after table, he was immersed in the social interaction of mutual praise, and he couldn't help himself.
His parents advised him to drink less alcohol and not to fool around all the time.
He directly retorted: "You know what, I'm maintaining the relationship." ”
It was supposed to be a vacation to relax himself, but he was exhausted.
Later, his capital chain in a small business was broken, and he urgently needed to turn over more than 100,000 yuan.
He dialed the phone numbers of Fa Xiao and his classmates, thinking that with years of friendship, how could he make up for this hole.
Who knows, the other party is either an excuse for difficulties, or bluntly refuses.
At this time, he understood that the lively scenes on the wine table were just a joke, and after the excitement dissipated, no one expected anyone to help you.
In the end, he could only run to the bank to find a loan, which solved his urgent need.
The experience of this netizen is not a true portrayal of many people in real life.
They were busy with all kinds of dinners, and as a result, there was nothing left but the emptiness after the hustle and bustle.
A sentence from writer Zhou Guoping comes to mind:
The dominance of the social arena is definitely not friendship, but profit or boredom.
So, instead of squandering energy in a noisy party, it is better to stay alone, recuperate yourself, and improve yourself.
Host Dou Wentao has been in the industry for nearly 20 years, and he has interviewed cattle people from all walks of life, and he also has good popularity.
But every time someone asked him to dinner and party, he refused one by one.
In addition to doing shows, he basically stays at home reading.
In his solitude, he accumulated a lot of knowledge, and people became more sober and transparent.
As the writer Feng Jicai said: "Mediocre people fill the emptiness with excitement, and excellent people achieve themselves with solitude." ”
After middle age, don't always indulge in socializing and don't think that someone can pull you.
Life doesn't need to be noisy and noisy, and you don't need to force a circle that doesn't belong to you.
Because life is always a person's journey, some things can only be done by one person; Some are bitter and can only be eaten alone; Some roads can only be walked alone.
Learn to maintain a low social state and spend social time alone.
Read books, listen to songs, do sports.
Spend more time improving yourself, and your life will have more confidence.
2
Low desire for low temperatures
Writer Mark Twain once said:
Frenzied desires can induce dangerous actions and do absurd things.
Greed is haunting, desires are difficult to fill, and once people sink into it, they will bring pain and calamity to themselves.
There is a Mr. Hu in Yishu's novel "Yoyo My Heart".
Mr. Hu's family was poor, and after years of hard work, he finally took the position of manager of the bank's finance department with an annual salary of millions.
The wife is beautiful and virtuous, the daughter is sensible and well-behaved, and her life is very rich.
But he still felt that the house was not big enough, the car was not good enough, and the food and clothing were not luxurious enough.
The million annual salary does not satisfy his desires at all.
So, he began to accept bribes and embezzle public funds.
High-end red wine, expensive watches, young and beautiful women...
The temptation of the flower world made him addicted to material desires.
As a result, within a few years, his corruption was exposed.
Not to mention that he was imprisoned, the originally happy family also fell apart because he supported his lover.
In reality, there are many people like Mr. Hu, who have stable jobs, considerable incomes, and complete children.
But people's hearts are not enough to swallow elephants, and when they pursue more things, desire is greater than ability, they will breed troubles and even go off the road.
Professor Chen Xiaoye of the Academy of Chinese Medical Sciences once proposed an equation: desire - strength = fire.
Only by learning to cool down desires and go to fire can you get rid of your troubles and return to comfort.
The writer Cai Lan once traveled in the mountains, and the old lady at the accommodation cooked chicken for him every day.
One day, Cai Lan said, "I don't want to eat chicken, I want to eat fish." ”
But the old lady has lived in the mountains all her life and does not know what fish are.
So Cai Lan drew a fish on the paper and pointed it to her: "It's a pity that you haven't eaten it." ”
The old lady said cheerfully: "Sir, what's the pity of something you haven't eaten?" ”
In life, many people have never eaten mountain and sea delicacies, and have never seen the beautiful scenery of Qishan Mountain.
But this does not prevent them from living happily and happily.
Because the essence of life is not to pursue better material desires, but to enjoy the present moment and cherish possession.
There is an old saying: the family is rich, and the eclipse is only three meals; There are thousands of rooms in the vast mansion, and it only takes six feet to sleep at night.
You always have to understand that life is not about the more wealth you have, the better your life is.
Three thousand prosperity, in the end, a porridge and a meal, excessive pursuit of material, will only increase the burden on yourself.
After middle age, learn to cool down desires, be content and happy, and live everywhere.
3
Mood hypothermia
Carnegie Mellon University conducted a study of emotions.
The researchers took hundreds of experimenters and carefully recorded their state of work life.
The results show that people have two emotions: "high temperature" and "low temperature".
Experimenters with hot emotions are short-tempered and moody, often losing their temper because of a little thing.
When they interact with friends, it is easy to turn their faces immediately because they don't deal with one or two sentences, which is embarrassing;
Talk to customers about cooperation, just because the other party refuses to give in, they will slap the table and leave, so that the business will be ruined.
The experimenters with low emotional temperature are rarely happy and sad, they are emotionally stable, calm and rational.
As Lao Tzu said, stillness is determined, and wisdom is determined.
Be a person with low emotions and not be in a hurry, in order to give birth to wisdom and cope with the chaotic life.
The famous American psychologist Stephen Clifford once told a real case.
Gner, 36, is a director at a company in California.
Once, he met a difficult but important client who doubled his performance if he signed a contract.
In order to win this customer, he worked all night for those days to make plans and strive for impeccable.
Who knows, the plan has been changed again and again, and the other party is always dissatisfied, and he also made sarcastic remarks about his ability.
Gnar directly lost his temper and yelled on the phone, "I'm not waiting."
As a result, cooperation collapsed, performance was not mentioned, and he was reprimanded by the leader in public.
Filled with distress, he approached Clifford, a psychologist, to complain.
After listening to his story, Clifford persuaded him earnestly: "The more irritable you are, the more you have the ability to pour cold water on your emotions." ”
From then on, Gnor began to consciously cool down his emotions.
No matter how difficult the client is, he will try to restrain his temper and then deal with it calmly.
After a long time, those difficult customers were named to cooperate with him.
His performance climbed year by year, and in less than two years, he reached the position of vice president.
A quote from the English poet John Milton comes to mind:
"If a man can control his emotions, then he has already overcome the king."
When people reach middle age, the burden on their bodies becomes heavier and heavier, and they can no longer explode with a little temper like when they were young.
A small impulse can lead to the loss of a job, a tantrum and a conflict, or even a drag on the entire family.
In fact, as long as you pour a basin of cool water on your emotions in time to cool down.
Once you are calm, you will find that all your problems will be solved.
You must understand that life is difficult, as long as you can stabilize your emotions and your heart is not chaotic, nothing is difficult.
▽
Writer Ma Yawei said in "Low Temperature Middle Age":
When people reach middle age, they should be in a low temperature state. Low temperature can be calm, self-controlled, accessible and wise.
Low temperature middle age does not want you to face life coldly and indifferently.
Instead, you should pay more attention to inner cultivation and spiritual growth.
Learn to reduce social interaction, restrain your desires, and protect yourself from emotions.
When you try to live at low temperatures, every day at the moment, you can live calmly and fully, harvest warmth and comfort.
Give it a thumbs up and encourage your friends.