He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
See a post from a netizen.
Netizen said:
A friend who had not been in touch for more than a year suddenly sent him a message during the New Year.
Looking at the news of the other party, he was also a little uncertain about what the other party meant.
So he tentatively chatted with the other party, but he didn't expect that the other party's routine was too deep.
The purpose is clear.
At the beginning, talk to you and care about your recent situation; But while chatting, the other party's painting style changed instantly.
Directly said: "Recently, the business is sluggish, the hand is not spacious, and there is no money to spend at home for the New Year, can you lend me some money?" ”
Have you had this experience?
Friends who have not been in touch for a long time, suddenly contact you for the New Year, what can be done?
What is really going on in their hearts?
-01
Either borrow money or "ask for you"
It got me thinking of an experience.
One time I posted a news in the circle of friends and gave away part of my collection, but asked the other party to pay for the shipping by themselves.
As soon as the circle of friends was posted, several friends planned to ask for it.
That's when interesting things come in.
A person I haven't been in touch for a long time, messaged me saying:
"You don't want any of these books, so give them all to me."
I was a little confused.
Staring at the other person's avatar, nickname, looked at it for several seconds before remembering who this person was.
Instead of acceding to his request, he was given two books.
Since then, the man has been "haunted".
Message me every once in a while: "Do you still have a book to deliver?" My children have no books to read. ”
"What do you collect so many books for? Why don't you give me a few more copies. ”
I've seen thick-skinned, I've never seen anything so taken for granted.
During the New Year, if someone you haven't contacted for a long time suddenly sends you a message to give you a suggestion:
Don't reply to messages easily.
If he sends you: "Are you there"?
You don't reply, see what he has to say to you next.
If he doesn't say it, that's best;
If his next request is unacceptable to you, there is no need to reply.
There are always some such people in the circle of friends.
Seeing that you have money, they come to you to borrow money;
Seeing that you are mixing well, I will come and play the emotional card with you;
Seeing that you have a use value, come to you and ask you for help.
By what?
People who are not familiar with each other, help you face, not help is duty.
-02
I want to "connect" with you
One interesting thing comes to mind:
Several old classmates received a message from a boy in the class at the same time:
"Long time no see, do you have time to have a meal together after the New Year?"
After chatting for a while, I realized that this boy is still single, and he has been urged to marry by his family all day, and he has failed on more than ten blind dates.
So the boys sent a group message to all the girls in the class, trying to "cast a wide net and catch big fish."
I have to say that this boy's heart is quite big, and he doesn't care about his face at all.
Have you ever had a similar experience?
A friend who hasn't talked for a long time suddenly sends you a message.
No request, not to borrow money, just to simply talk to you about the recent situation, talk about the past, lament time, and reminisce.
Such moments will make you fall into memories.
After all, the older the person, the easier it is for a person to be "emotional".
Think of the past, think of things when I was young, think of those good friends who lost contact, think of those people who never had the opportunity to meet again.
That's how relationships are between people.
If you don't contact for a while, you are embarrassed to disturb each other, for fear that sending messages to each other will cause trouble to each other.
"To avoid embarrassment, so all beginnings were rejected."
Some people, even if they haven't been in touch for a long time, don't feel rusty when chatting again;
But there are also some people who, if they do not contact for a month, chat will feel awkward.
It is not the person that changes, but the distance between the two hearts.
-03
People who are jealous of you, find you "show superiority"
There is also a situation:
The other person is looking for you to prove that he is finally better off than you in some way.
Like what:
When you were a student, your grades were always better than his, and you were the "positive material" that his parents taught him;
You got into a good university, and he went to an average school;
After graduation, you went to work in a big factory, while he stayed in his hometown to work hard;
Your income is getting higher and higher, and he has been tepid.
Later, he bought a house and a car in his hometown, got married, and had children; And you, who have worked hard for many years in the big city, are still single.
This difference in pursuit, the difference in different life, makes him think that he has finally surpassed you.
So, in order to prove that he finally surpassed you and proved that he had a better life than you, he would "catch up" with you.
By reminiscing about the past, it is actually showing off with you.
People who have low self-esteem in their hearts and are jealous of you have long regarded you as a "benchmark" in their hearts.
All his efforts are to surpass you.
As long as he has the opportunity, he will definitely show superiority in front of you and show off to you.
In fact, such people have a "low sense of self-worth."
They need to rely on external recognition to prove their value.
If you also meet this type of person, you don't need to respond; The more you respond, the more hysterical he becomes.
Today's Topic:
Have you had a similar experience?
(Article with picture source network)