Wen | snow fell without dust
Shu Ting said in "To the Oak Tree":
"I must be a kapok near you, standing with you as the image of a tree." Roots, clenched in the ground; leaves, touching in the clouds. ”
A good marriage is that each other can be evenly matched, can cut through thorns together, walk all the way, can support each other, achieve each other, and rely on each other.
I use my words and actions to treat you well, to create a better you, and to achieve a renewed self at the same time.
My cousin and husband have been married for 14 years and their feelings are consistent. There was never a fight, and the two of them were smiling every day.
Occasionally seeing my cousin unhappy, my cousin always tries to make her happy. The cousin said that seeing his cousin's happy smile every day was his greatest happiness.
Netizen Ling'er, who has been with her husband for more than ten years, has lived the same life as before, and it is better than when talking. Because in the early days of marriage, each other was still young and did not understand things, and now after running-in, the feelings are getting better and better.
Women who are also married, why have they become women who are good in the eyes of others?
Whether you are married or unmarried, women, see through the three truths of marriage, the rest of their lives are better and better.
01
First: If you want to be happy, you must live your marriage into singleness
There is such a man in the world, he does not love you and does not let you go, he does not cherish you, he does not want to lose you, he says words that love you, but he does things that hurt you.
There are too many such people, and if they encounter them, they are simply crossing the river. Low-quality marriages are indeed inferior to high-quality singles, but they are by no means ordinary people.
Women looking for a husband, originally wanted to have a dependency, but after marriage, they found that all the wind and rain were brought by this so-called husband, and the only thing that could really be relied on was themselves.
Netizen Xiao DingDong said that the old man is handsome, and he is a "central air conditioner" when he is alive and well outside. After 10 years of marriage, whether he loves me or not, I am too lazy to dwell on it.
I just want him to share the responsibilities of the family, go to work, take care of the children, do housework, take care of the elderly... It was entirely on my own, I was so tired, how many times had I thought about giving up.
For money, he did not; to love, he was unfaithful, and the only tenderness and patience was given to other women: but if he wanted a divorce, for his "good man" status, but refused to let me go...
Yes, they all say that marriage is a practice. Husbands and wives get along for a long time, they will dislike each other, you think I am nagging, I think you are lazy. If you want to get by, you can only endure the shortcomings and imperfections of the other party.
The real married life is very heartfelt. Even if you change to a new one, the same problem will reappear. No matter who you live with, you end up with yourself.
If you find it too difficult, it is better to be single and pretend that you are not married because you are in love, but to live together.
You can do what you love alone and stop getting angry at his "inaction." When you are moody and unhappy and not controlled by him, you become more attractive.
02
Second: Love others in moderation and love yourself unconditionally
It is a blessing for some people to love, and it is their duty to love themselves.
Nowadays, the best love is not that you are responsible for making money and supporting your family, I am responsible for being beautiful as a flower. It's that you're good, and I'm not bad either.
When we enter marriage, we must first do a good job of ourselves, take care of ourselves and our own birth. When you meet the wrong person, just when he doesn't exist, has a healthy body, and everything that is difficult will disappear.
Classmate Lingling, who began to associate with Jianhua in high school, and successfully married Jianhua, whose family was very well-off.
From childhood to adulthood, Lingling has always dreamed of marrying a rich husband, and then giving birth to a pair of lovely children and becoming a competent housewife herself.
For Jianhua's preferences and habits, Lingling has long been familiar with it. Everything revolves around her husband's Lingling, who lives herself into a "quick-frozen dumpling" in the refrigerator.
The happy life she imagined every day was shattered by a gossip from her neighbors. When she learned that her husband had betrayed her, she was still blaming herself, was there something wrong with not doing well enough? Is it that if you are better for him, he will be reformed?
She was unwilling to be honest and unspeakable, and eventually the relationship between husband and wife survived in name only. It wasn't until her girlfriend said something merciless that she suddenly woke up.
For so many years, she has loved her husband wholeheartedly, but she has not seriously loved herself.
Women do not care about anything for the sake of what they love, although this can not move the other party, want to change their hearts and change their hearts, do not ask you.
Such a marriage, if you want to be together, you must let go of expectations and let go of yourself. No one in the world loves you more than you do, except your parents.
Only after experiencing it do you know that it is really difficult to be a woman, and it is even more difficult to find a man who is good to himself.
03
Third: Marriage is not the whole of life, self-growth is
Marriage is not the whole of life. At first I didn't know what the word meant, and then I heard it was already the person in the word.
The original man's affectionate sentence "I raise you" hit the weakness of many women, so that many women thought they had seized happiness and lost the ability to think.
In fact, women should be independent, have the ability to make money, and have the capital to leave at any time.
After the girlfriend graduated as a teacher for 7 years, her husband betrayed, she did not want to accommodate her marriage, and divorced decisively.
After the Spring Festival this year, in order to take the baby for convenience, she decisively quit the "iron rice bowl" and began to concentrate on self-media. None of her family members supported her at the time, saying she was "blindly tossing and turning."
My girlfriend said that she has been a teacher for 7 years, repeating lectures and meetings every day. Day after day, I can't really get interested. She wanted to challenge herself to see what she could do.
Today's girlfriends, who have been doing self-media full-time for more than a year, have risen from single digits to five digits. Although she was more tired than in the previous class, she felt very fulfilled.
And the girlfriend's ex-husband, seeing that she is getting better and better, regrets that he did not want to reunite, and the girlfriend resolutely refused to agree.
Don't treat marriage as the whole of life, don't spend energy and time on a man, self-growth is the most reliable.
Life is only once, do not bet on your own happiness, do not put your own happiness in the control of others. Self-growth is not about making you a strong woman, but about having the ability to make money.
Such a you, do not have to palm up, feel the embarrassment of lack of money; such a you, do not have to hold on to those trivial things; such you, in order to see a more colorful world.
04
There is such a passage in "Jane Eyre": "Love is a game, you must maintain an equal strength with the other side, in the long run, in order to rely on each other." ”
In marriage, the three most reliable words are not "I love you", but "rely on yourself" to be the queen of your own life.
Some marriages, no matter how much two people endure, are gradually drifting apart. Pinning your hopes on others will really lose.
Women have to please themselves, be financially independent, and be more attractive if they are not controlled by others. Trying to change others is far worse than changing yourself.
The best love is not to send charcoal in the snow, but to add icing on the cake. They can both snuggle up to each other and be independent of each other.
In marriage, the more alive the better the woman, there is a superiority, worthy of reference by you and me.
Live your own life and do whatever you want. Have their own hobbies and work they want to do, earn their own money and spend themselves, and love themselves well, in order to be happy and happy every day.
May we who enter the marriage encourage each other, support each other, grow each other, make progress together, and harvest happiness.