Even boys will compete for favors.
All two-child families face a common problem: children compete for favors. Even if it is two boys, like a little girl, I hope that my mother will pay more attention to herself.
But this situation is usually ignored by the mother of the boy, who feels that the boy does not need to be cared for and loved like the girl, as long as he is full and warm.
"Mom, do you love me, or brother?"
Lingling's mother, when she was three years old, her stomach became bulging. At that time, LingLing didn't know what was happening, but she just thought that her mother's appearance was very funny, and she was very curious about what was in her mother's stomach.
Suddenly one day, my mother asked Lingling, do you want a younger brother? Ling Ling said without hesitation: "Want! The reason why she answered her mother this way was because she didn't know what such a choice meant, but she just had one more playmate of her own.
When the mother heard Lingling's answer, she felt very relieved and felt that she should not face the situation of contradictions in her children! After all, LingLing has been very smart and sensible since she was a child, and now that she has such an answer, isn't it double insurance?
By the time Mom gave birth, everything had changed. Her mother's eyes were always on her brother, and she had little time to accompany Lingling, and even needed Lingling to be independent when she slept.
Such a day lasted only a month or so, Lingling's heart received a very big hurt, just when her mother coaxed her brother to sleep, Lingling went to her mother's side and said to her mother: Mother, do you love me, or brother?
Mom was shocked to hear such an answer, and then she fell into deep thought, not knowing how to answer. After all, ignoring Lingling during this time made her extremely insecure.
In the face of children, high emotional intelligence mothers will not say "all love"
This question is obviously a dilemma, no matter what the answer is, it will cause some harm in the child's psychology. Most mothers will choose to be perfunctory, such as mothers love and are mother's babies.
Even babies will be disappointed by this answer, because they already have an answer in their minds before they ask the question, and they have decided that the mother prefers her brother to herself. But the purpose of their questions is still to get their mothers to contradict themselves and make themselves feel more secure.
Be sure to compare the highs and lows
In the process of growing up, it is always accompanied by the act of setting references and examples, just like in kindergarten, the teacher always asks the children to complete the task in the name of the competition. In this process, the children are happy to complete it. This is called the role model sensitivity period.
They do not have a mature enough logical mind to judge their own abilities, and can only learn how their abilities are by comparing themselves with others. Similarly, this approach is also found in many adults.
Therefore, mothers can fully use the thinking characteristics of children to enlighten their children. For example, if you are two years older than your brother, you enjoy your mother's love for two more years than your brother, which is where your brother will never be able to catch up with you.
With such guidance, the baby will form a certain concept in his heart, regard his advantages in the past two years as his own advantages, and can also be complacent with this.
Subtly divert your child's attention
When the mother faces such a question for the first time, she must be very blind, and she does not dare to answer the child immediately, for fear that her own temporary mistake will lead to permanent injury to the child, but even if she thinks about it for a long time, she does not know how to answer correctly.
At this time, the mother can do the opposite, not to answer the child positively, but to let them find the answer on their own. Ask them, what do you think?
After the mother hears the child's answer, she can guide it according to the child's answer. For example, the child said, I think the mother prefers the younger brother, because the younger brother is always glued to the mother's body. At this time, your mother can say that because you are old enough to help your mother accomplish some things within your power, you don't need your mother to bother at all, you are your mother's best little assistant.
Moreover, mothers can take the opportunity to praise their children, let them know that their strengths can be seen by their mothers, and encourage them to carry forward their own strengths.
Today's summary:
Do you have any better way to answer? Feel free to share your thoughts with us!