Wen | Zhang Ping
The illustrations | from the web
Women's premarital room has always been a hidden pain in the hearts of many men. Why do some men hate women having premarital room? Essentially, it's because of their selfishness.
Women have premarital rooms, which means that they have a back road, to put it bluntly, marrying this kind of woman, in case the marriage is not harmonious, the odds of them choosing divorce are very high, because they have a place to go, so they are not afraid of divorce.
Second, a woman has a premarital room, which means that she will have arrears. Men are very realistic in marriage, and even some men marry wives in order to occupy the girl's house and money.
After all, in the eyes of a boy who has a house but has no money to renovate, if I marry a wife who has some savings, can I encourage her to pay for my renovation?
But if this woman has her own house and her own arrears, then she certainly cannot pay for the decoration of a man's house. Of course, men actually have another worry, if two people pay back their house after marriage, it will not only reduce the quality of life, but also make it more difficult to work together.
Therefore, when men face women with premarital rooms, reason tends to triumph over sensibility, and it is not surprising that they hesitate.
01。
Lingling and her boyfriend Zhang Xing have been in love for 3 years, and finally reached the point where they want to talk about marriage, and her heart is still very happy. Zhang Xing is the only child in the family, although his parents are ordinary workers, but a lifetime of savings to help him pay a down payment is not a big problem.
So they don't have to worry about the marriage room.
Ling Ling originally thought that this marriage should be very smooth, and she even thought about the happy life of the two people in the future. However, only because of a prenuptial room, she can see the true face of her boyfriend's family.
Here's the thing. Lingling a good friend asked her to help to see the house, Lingling's friend in his early 30s, not married and no object, he had the idea of buying a house.
At first, Lingling did not want to buy a house, but after looking around with her friends, she found that she still had a house that she could afford. Moreover, her parents promised that if she got married, she would be given a dowry of 100,000 yuan.
The parents' 100,000, plus their own 80,000, is not a big problem to pay a down payment for a small house. And friends have always advised her that if she has the ability, women still have to prepare a premarital room for themselves, which is also a kind of protection for themselves.
Ling Ling thought it was right, so from deciding to buy a house to buying a house smoothly, it was only a week. The reason why it is so fast is mainly because the house she can afford to pay the down payment is small and very sought-after, and if she does not decide early, it may be gone.
Her parents were very supportive of her buying a pre-marriage house, but when she mentioned this to her boyfriend, her boyfriend's attitude was not very friendly, and Lingling did not think so much, she thought that maybe her boyfriend was upset about things recently.
02。
On this day, Ling Ling rushed to meet her boyfriend and told her about her pre-marriage house. The boyfriend's expression changed immediately, but when he learned that Lingling had only paid the deposit, his attitude eased a lot.
He told Ling Ling that he wanted to marry her, so he would discuss the house again. What he meant was that he paid a deposit of 20,000 yuan anyway, and this house should not be bought, and he would supply Lingling with this money.
If Ling Ling insisted on buying it, then change the small house into a big house and add his name. Of course, the down payment is still for LingLing to come out, and he can make up the remaining tens of thousands.
Ling Ling was of course not happy when she heard it, she was not a fool, and it was obvious that her ex-boyfriend was calculating herself. The two people broke up unhappily at this meeting, and the boyfriend did not pay attention to himself for the next three days.
After a few days of cold war, the future mother-in-law found Lingling and said that Zhang Xing was in pain now, and if she wanted to live a good life with Zhang Xing, she would think about his proposal, and Lingling declined.
Her request is also very simple, she buys the house herself, and she pays for the loan herself, so that in the future, if there is any problem, she will not be without a place to go. When the other party listened, he knew that it was difficult to change, so he sadly left.
About a week later, Zhang Xing finally looked for her. He sent her a long WeChat message, he said that he really loved her and wanted to be with her, and at first Lingling was very touched.
But no matter what he said, after Lingling was still unwilling to change his mind, he worked hard, for a long time, and he sent such a sentence: Isn't it enough for you to marry me?
At that moment, Ling Ling felt that he really didn't understand himself. After thinking about it for a long time, she proposed to break up.
03。
Maybe for men, a lot of people don't know what women really want? Because they don't understand women's needs, men often give mistakes.
For example, a man who works hard to earn money thinks that he can give a woman what she wants with money. But in fact, what a woman wants may be simple companionship and love, and she doesn't want that much money.
But the man does not understand, he thinks he is good to the woman, but forgets that the woman does not want this. So in the end the two people can only go to break up.
In love, it's really important to understand each other's needs. Because only when you know what the other person wants, you can give it to her heart, otherwise no matter how much you do, you will be confused.
Good feelings are that no matter what you do, I always believe it, rather than having doubts about you and complaining about you. Life is a long time, and it is really not easy to find someone who always understands and supports you, but what we want in our hearts is to find someone who understands themselves and can accompany themselves.
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About author:Zhang Ping, psychological counselor, marriage and family counselor, well-known emotional self-media. I have wine, do you have a story?