Introduction to Adolescent Psychological Counseling
Many parents have spent a lot of manpower, material resources and mental efforts on the way to their children's growth and learning, so that their children can save snacks and relax after they go to school.
But when children really reach the age of school, parents are not only worried about their children's learning problems, but also worry about whether their children's getting along with their classmates at school is harmonious and happy, and whether they will be isolated and excluded by their classmates.
Interpretation of adolescent psychological counseling: Children are excluded by classmates, what can parents do?
Ms. Lin recently discovered that her 10-year-old daughter Lingling has been sullen lately, very different from the lively and cheerful she used to be.
Lingling has a medium-to-high academic performance, is extroverted, likes sports, and has many good friends. In the past, when I came home from school, I would be happy to tell my family about the interesting things that happened at school that day, but now I am often silent and depressed.
Ms. Lin felt very confused, and asked her daughter what was wrong many times, and Lingling said that her good friends ignored her and did not play with her, and she was very lonely at school now. In today's craft class, I need to find a partner to group up with, but no one wants to be in a group with her. She felt so bad, sad, and even said she didn't want to go to school.
Knowing that her daughter was wronged at school, Ms. Lin was very anxious, but for the children's interpersonal interactions, she was not easy to intervene, and she did not know how to help her daughter, which was very distressing.
Analysis of adolescent psychological counseling
In the face of her daughter being ostracized by her classmates at school, Ms. Lin, as a mother, is anxious in her eyes, worried that her child's young mind will be hurt in this way, but there is nothing she can do, and she does not know what to do.
When children are excluded and isolated by their peers at school, parents cannot wait to ignore them. If you let the child face it alone, it seems difficult to rely on the child's strength, which may leave a psychological shadow on the child.
However, parents can not bypass the child to deal with this matter privately, they should first listen to the child's voice, help the child figure out where the problem is, and then provide appropriate help, so as to help the child more.
▓ The following situations are more common situations that cause adolescents to be isolated and excluded by their peers:
01
Occasional conflicts
In the adolescent group, it often happens that two children clash due to some difficult to distinguish between right and wrong, and it happens that one of the children is more popular in the class, consciously or unconsciously becoming a kind of "side" force, attracting more classmates to support TA, and the less popular convenience is slowly isolated and excluded.
In the face of this situation, parents need to give their children some psychological support first, and encourage her to use her own strength to negotiate with the other party.
Parents need to look at this matter with a positive attitude, take this as an opportunity to accompany their children's learning and growth, use this opportunity to let children gain some interpersonal experience, help children develop confidence in dealing with complex interpersonal situations, encourage children to express their ideas correctly, and actively take action to solve misunderstandings.
02
Lack of interpersonal skills
Some children will be more impatient, do not understand humility, more self, easy to clash with their peers, causing dissatisfaction with their peers, isolated by classmates, lack of friends; some children may be because of their more introverted shyness, sensitive and timid, do not know how to integrate into the class group, do not dare, do not know how to try to make friends and have been very lonely.
These children are eager to associate with their classmates, but they have been lonely because they have not mastered the skills of interacting with their peers; or they have accidentally done things that make the other party disgusted and angry, which over time caused their peers to be reluctant to come closer.
The more children lack playmates, the more lonely they are, and the more eager they are to associate with their peers, but often such dating actions end in failure.
For this situation, parents should teach some interpersonal skills and methods suitable for children according to their children's personality, encourage children to be brave in interacting with others, and help children improve their ability to integrate into society. You can also simulate the dating process with your child, and guide your child to better integrate into the class according to specific language or behavior.
03
Does not conform to the mainstream of peer identification
Peers will evaluate each other according to mainstream criteria, such as academic performance, clothing, hairstyle, music listened to, favorite idols, hobbies, family background, etc.
Children's tolerance is not as flexible as adults, and if a classmate does not meet their "dating standards", they may laugh, exclude, and isolate each other.
For example, in terms of academic performance, too good or too bad grades can make children "different." If the child's circle of friends, other students are excellent academic performance, then when a person's grades decline, it is easy to be negatively evaluated by peers; if the child's good friends are at a lower middle level in academic performance, and suddenly one of the grades is improving by leaps and bounds, others may admire, may also be jealous, isolate and exclude this "outlier" together.
Guangzhou heard about the conclusion of adolescent psychological counseling
Parents should usually communicate with their children more, whether in learning or life, pay more attention to the child's situation, so that they can analyze according to the actual situation, the child may be excluded in interpersonal communication for what reasons, and only then do they know from what aspects to give the child support and help.
If you find that your child is excluded and isolated in school, but does not know how to deal with it, you can also seek the help of a professional adolescent psychological counselor.