More and more parents are seeking psychological counseling because their children are tired of school and Internet addiction.
01
Han Ming is 13 years old and a first-year junior high school student.
He is an only child, playing mobile phones and games every day, day and night upside down, and does not go to school. Buying things lavishly, hoping to get instant satisfaction for everything they want, otherwise they will be noisy, and sometimes when his parents say a few more words, Han Ming will "explode", and even start with his parents.
Han Ming didn't know every morning in the bed whether to pretend to sleep, or if he couldn't wake up, he couldn't wake up, and he didn't want to go to school. Sometimes they obviously promise their parents to go to school the next day, but they can't do it afterwards, which makes their parents very helpless.
And at night is always very excited, staying up late to play with mobile phones, parents are worried, worried about their son's health and studies, persuade their son to play less with mobile phones and resume school as soon as possible, but Han Ming either ignores his parents' bitter feelings or pushes his parents out of the door in a violent manner. Sometimes he will talk about it, saying that he does not need to take any high school entrance examination, and he can be successful in the future without going to university... In the face of their son's "crooked reasoning", although parents have a headache, they do not know how to help their children.
In desperation, after many understandings, the parents came to Guangzhou to hear about the psychological counseling center for help.
02
Lili was a freshman in high school, sleeping all day in class, not listening to lectures or doing homework, and her academic performance dropped significantly. Not interested in anything and not interacting with people. According to the feedback of the school teacher, Lili couldn't tell whether she was happy or sad, her expression was woody, and she was curled up by the window like a plant between classes. I was very sleepy every day, and although I drank a lot of coffee and tea, I still didn't look awake.
But sometimes she will suddenly be very interested, singing loudly, dancing, joking, fighting, very excited, and I don't know under what circumstances she will suddenly turn her style very irritable, smashing things, cursing and yelling.
Her parents often found that she was still playing mobile phones, playing games, and chatting with netizens late at night, not only ineffective persuasion, but sometimes dropping mobile phones and doors, and her mental state was worse the next day. From barely going to school to sleep in the classroom, to not going to school for 1 or 2 days a week, gradually developing to not going to school every day.
Her parents were very anxious, but Lili had such a big temper that she "lit a fire" and couldn't persuade her to go to school. Moreover, she also feels that she is okay and is reluctant to go to counseling.
In this case, helpless parents had to make a unilateral appointment to come to psychological counseling to see how to help their children.
Guangzhou heard about psychological counseling
Chief expert teacher Li Jianxue explained
In the above two cases, the appearance is that the child is addicted to the Internet or does not want to go to school. But through communication and evaluation, it will be found that behind their problems, there are various emotional problems.
After a series of consultations and assessments, Han Ming and Lili suffered from "bipolar disorder" (also known as bipolar disorder).
Simply put, bipolar disorder = depression + mania, which is a mood disorder.
The key feature of bipolar disorder is extreme mood swings, which fluctuate back and forth between the peaks of mania and the troughs of depression, deeply affecting a person's emotional experience and "emotions."
A netizen described the experience of bipolar disorder:
Manic period: Lao Tzu is a fairy ~ hahahahahaha Tomorrow...... This period must be completed...)
Depressive: I am nothing, I don't want to move.
Manic Period: Xu is a talent!!!
Depressive period: It's really tiring to live, I really want to escape, but the only real escape is death.
The typical symptoms of a manic episode are extreme excitement, extreme irritability and sensitivity, increased activity, little need to sleep, sparks of thought, and then these symptoms are embodied in rapid speech, confidence in one's own abilities, significant improvement in energy and action, and the conviction that no one can stop it.
After the mania stops, patients may spiral into a depressive state gradually, or they may suddenly fall into major depression without warning – some patients will move from mild depression in the process to major depression, while others may suddenly develop severe depressive symptoms when they feel good in all aspects of their lives.
At this time, the patient may become extremely depressed or extremely depressed, feel tired but have difficulty sleeping, have a reduced appetite, lack of energy, lack of interest in things, inability to enjoy things that ordinary people can enjoy, often feel helpless and hopeless, and even contemplate suicide plans in contemplation.
Adolescents are in the most critical period of growth in their lives, so parents are very anxious, worried that their children's studies and future will be ruined.
▼ So, what are the characteristics of adolescent bipolar disorder? When a child suffers from bipolar disorder, what should parents do?
01
Establish the right cognition and understand the child
1. Many children diagnosed with bipolar disorder have to take a break from school, mostly because of the condition.
First of all, the child's extreme mood swings are very challenging for parents' patience. When he is in a good mood, whatever he says to him, he says yes. For example, promising parents to buy a mobile phone and go to school, but talking doesn't count, and promises can't be fulfilled; Some children find it difficult to hold out after a day or two and stop halfway; Some children ask to transfer schools, but they do not go after transferring for less than 2 weeks; Some children promised to go to school next Monday, then postponed it to another week, and after a few weeks, said they would not go to school; Even when some children go to school, they doze off in class, do not do homework, and are frequently complained by teachers.
Therefore, children with bipolar disorder sometimes have a disconnect between their thoughts and behaviors, they sometimes think and say very well, but they can't do it, which is what parents need to understand, because the child's emotions are up and down, and when his emotions and feelings change, it is easy to give up.
Parents should establish a correct understanding of bipolar disorder and learn to understand their children.
2. Understand that behind these inappropriate behaviors of children is disease
Many parents complain that after their children fall ill, especially if they are at home after school, they play with mobile phones and computers all day, go to bed late and get up late, and black and white are reversed.
Parents are asked to understand this behavior.
When the child is depressed, there will be some characteristics: anxiety, avoidance, fear, hostility, dislike of subjects, bad experiences and feelings will make him reject the school; For some events, children tend to interpret them from a negative perspective, resulting in hostility towards others (teachers, classmates). In this state, he will avoid school.
In real interpersonal communication, children have interpersonal barriers, are often nervous, and easily feel frustrated and painful. And faced with all kinds of practical problems, it is very depressing and desperate for them. But the virtual world can give them a touch of comfort, on the one hand, playing online games is also a social way to get a certain sense of identity from others, on the other hand, he is very good at playing games and can find a sense of happiness and value, which will lead him to be addicted to mobile phones.
For bipolar disorder, in 24 hours, the morning is a relatively poor state of the day, and the state after 7 or 8 pm is better and more excited.
Therefore, many parents see that their children will surf the Internet and play games upside down, and they will not want to get up in the morning.
After understanding this situation, parents must learn to understand their children on the one hand, and understand that behind these inappropriate behaviors of their children is the disease. On the other hand, actively seek help to cure the child's disease, when the child's condition gradually relieves, the child finds the goal of effort, and the behavior of addicting to the Internet will gradually decrease.
02
Improve relationships with children and help children
Bipolar children are often more sensitive, intelligent, high IQ, high in thought, action can not keep up, they are afraid of school on the one hand, on the other hand, they also want to go to school, worried that the basic education is not completed, the starting point of life in the future is relatively low, so he is also very contradictory, very painful, but does not know how to do.
When the relationship between parents and children is hostile, no matter what the child is asked to do, he is unwilling, and the parents also feel that the child is very rebellious.
Only by establishing a good relationship with the child will the child be willing to cooperate with the parents and seek the help of professional psychological counseling.
Before the child has a consultation, parents need to come over and communicate the child's situation to the counselor.
Under the guidance of the counselor, parents can understand their children, the parent-child relationship is good, and parents and children are like friends. When parents are distressed and troubled by their children's problems, but they don't know how to help their children, they are very painful and helpless, can they accompany their parents, study together, seek the help of counselors, and help parents reduce their pain? In this case, the child is more willing to come over.
03
Reduce negative stimuli for your child
When the child is manic and excited, parents should not conflict with the child head-on, sometimes you can leave for a while, wait for the child's emotions to calm down, and then communicate with the child.
At this time, do not provoke the child's problems, because every time it recurs, the child is noisy and hysterical, and the condition will worsen. For example, if the child is irritable and angry as soon as he mentions returning to school, parents do not mention it for the time being, and do not force the child first, otherwise the condition is easy to deteriorate. Wait until the condition is relieved before returning to school, do not rush.
Parents should also pay attention to creating a good family environment for their children, not being excessively harsh, and not putting too much pressure on their children. Try to communicate peacefully and reduce arguments.
Even if it is a phased rehabilitation, it needs lifelong attention: guide children to pay attention to their own large emotional changes, pay attention to the impact of the environment on themselves, try to avoid contact with information that will bring them negative stimuli, learn to manage and control emotions, change wrong cognitive patterns and thinking habits, and develop good living habits.
04
Guide children to accept their sick self,
Encourage your child to stick with counseling
Children with bipolar disorder are unusually active during the manic phase and deeply blame themselves when they fall into depression; Either you are in an anxious and energetic impulse, or the whole world comes to a standstill and there is no way out. It's like the soul is lost, wandering in the ups and downs, unable to find its way.
Psychological counselors are stable and firm companions and guides for the parties.
Depression and mania, being able to experience two more lives than others. On the positive side, depression can make a person more sensitive and deeply aware of everything around him; Mania, which can increase creativity and self-confidence. Many people with bipolar disorder are like children endowed with superpowers by God's favor, and have innate advantages in art or music or some aspects that ordinary people cannot match.
The process of disease confrontation is also a process of self-exploration and learning psychological knowledge.
Even if a person suffers from bipolar disorder, he can still have the best life.
As a parent, you need to understand and accompany your child as much as possible to help him accept his sick self.
Bipolar disorder children can not be solved by counseling once or twice, the counselor will guide the child to face his emotions, accompany the party to grow, let him have the strength to manage emotions, learn to study, work and live with emotions.
It takes a process. Therefore, parents should encourage, accompany and support their children to adhere to counseling, and encourage children to learn and live with emotions.
Patients with major mania and depression need to cooperate with drug therapy during psychological counseling, and hospitalization is required for severe illness.
Li Jianxue
・Hear about it, chief expert of the Psychological Counseling Center
Member of the Professional Committee of Psychological Counselors of Guangdong Mental Health Association
Senior Marriage Counselor
Senior Family Education Instructor
Psychosexual counselor
Senior hypnotist