Experts in this issue
I heard that Zheng Qijuan, director of the psychological counseling center, psychological counselor, and national family education instructor
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Continued "Depression Counseling: Why, I Don't Want My Depression to Get Better?" (1)》
Xiao Ji is a well-behaved girl, and before the teacher called to tell her about self-harm, her parents never dreamed that their daughter would get depression.
Once, in the eyes of many people, Xiao Ji was "someone else's child", gentle and courteous, lively and outgoing, with a wide range of interests and excellent grades.
Since childhood, he has been excellent in character and learning, and has won unanimous praise from teachers. In the third year of high school, parents found that Xiao Ji's body had some problems, unprovoked vomiting, tiredness and weakness, insomnia and emaciation, and there was no problem when I went to the hospital. Unexpectedly, as soon as I stepped into the university campus, I received this call from the teacher.
In the hearts of parents, Xiao Ji has always been very worry-free. Because her parents are very busy with work, Xiao Ji grew up with her grandmother. Grandma used to be a senior teacher, who was strict with children and educated Xiaoji very sensible.
The most obvious thing is that parents have almost never seen Xiao Ji lose his temper, and when they see their parents angry, Xiao Ji will also take the initiative to comfort them. Therefore, Xiao Ji has many friends, and she is also very accustomed to caring and giving to her friends.
When Xiao Ji was diagnosed with depression, her grandmother and parents were shocked, and then put down various standards and requirements for Xiao Ji, and Xiao Ji was finally able to be in a daze without hiding and convulsing and crying. Not to mention smiling when full of pain.
Xiao Ji told me that she found herself with emotional problems since she was in high school. There was a black hole deep inside, and she felt scared, lonely, and helpless.
I was educated by my grandmother since I was a child, I can't cry, let alone lose my temper, Xiao Ji doesn't know how to deal with these emotions, and she doesn't dare to tell others, and she only knows how to hide this emotion deep in her heart, and on the surface she is still the lively and optimistic girl.
However, the black hole did not disappear, she became more and more tired, and there were various discomforts in her body. Man seems to be divided into two opposite parts, one facing the self of others and the other being the solitary self.
Finally, one day, Xiao Ji cut himself with a blade, and the physical pain gave his mind a moment of peace.
After being diagnosed with depression, Xiao Ji felt relieved. The self, who was passive and powerless when alone, was finally able to be liberated and accepted by his family and school.
When her family accompanied her to treat depression, she was reluctant in her heart, feeling that depression was like an old friend, bringing pain but not wanting to leave it.
Once upon a time, Xiao Ji was a person who was deprived of the right to suffer. Pain is undoubtedly a very torturous feeling, but "not allowing pain" is an even worse thing.
Grandma's education made Xiao Ji form a distorted cognition of emotions: pain is not painful, it is determined and reversed by your rational intelligence. Because pain is wrong, you have to correct it and change it.
Xiao Ji has buried her sadness in her heart since she was a child, and she is afraid that she will be rejected by the people around her if she appears, so she will neither express nor ask for help. Over time, negative emotions accumulate in the heart and become more and more intense.
We know that everyone aspires to be themselves. At the same time, some collective ideas in society interfere with us being ourselves.
For example, it is right to be positive, and it is wrong to be unpositive and not positive. People who lack strength in their hearts will take the judgment of the outside world as the standard, and at the same time cannot accept the conclusion that "I am wrong", so replacing "I am wrong" with "I am sick" can stabilize their hearts.
Therefore, the identity of "depression" gave Xiao Ji a justified reason for pain, her sadness was allowed, and her feelings and thoughts could be expressed. Xiao Ji was also able to remove the mask and make himself truly alive.
Depression, let Xiao Ji have the courage to be herself, give her a special sense of security.
If you suffer from depression and don't want to get better. Be aware of your heart: Stay in depression, are you at ease? If the answer is yes, then depression gives you not only pain, but also a sense of security that is missing from life.
Zheng Qijuan
Lead Consultant
I heard about it, the chief counselor of the psychological counseling center
Member of the Professional Committee of Psychological Counselors of Guangdong Mental Health Association
National Marriage Counselor
National Family Education Instructor
Child Counselor
Senior hypnotist
Spiritual healer
Psychological consultant of the "Rights Protection Service Station" of the Guangdong Provincial Women's Federation
Member of Guangdong Psychological Society
Member of the Psychoanalytic Professional Committee
Specially invited psychological consultant of the emotional column of Guangzhou Radio Station
· Guangzhou YWCA appointed psychological counselor
"Yangcheng Evening News", "Yangcheng Metro News", "Modern Parenting Weekly", "Urban People Growth" invited psychological experts