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Parents often yell at their children, children are prone to depression! Parents can't control their emotions, are there these 4 reasons?

Parents often yell at their children, children are prone to depression! Parents can't control their emotions, are there these 4 reasons?

In daily life, when the child's performance does not meet the requirements of the parents, many parents are prone to yelling at the child, and even use verbal violence.

Especially when parents tutor their children's homework, whenever the child procrastinates on homework, often does the wrong topic, and cannot teach how to teach, it is easy for parents to lose control of their emotions, slap the table, yell, or even do it to their children. There have even been media reports that "parents who tutor their children's homework are so angry that they have a heart attack and are urgently sent to the hospital."

This really echoes the saying on the Internet that "if you don't tutor homework, the mother is filial piety, and the chicken flies and the dog jumps when tutoring homework". Even Peking University professor Ding Yanqing confessed that when he was tutoring his daughter's homework, he couldn't help but yell at his daughter when he was in a hurry.

Whenever I see such news, I can't help but feel anxious for these parents, because they may not realize that parents yelling at their children will not only not help solve the problem, but may also make the child's learning disability worse, and the child's risk of depression and bipolar will be greatly increased.

Some parents may think, "I know everything, but sometimes it's really hard to control your emotions!" ”

If parents have this problem, in order to avoid continuing to cause superimposed psychological trauma to their children, it is hoped that parents should actively reflect on whether they have the following problems and find ways to solve them:

First, is there serious disagreement between the three views of husband and wife, frequent quarrels, and conflicts in life continue to evolve and escalate, resulting in a bad family atmosphere?

In this family atmosphere, both parents are naturally prone to accumulate a lot of negative emotions. When the child's performance is slightly unsatisfactory, these negative emotions of the parents are easy to be "detonated", and then irrationally vent these negative emotions to the child, spread the anger on the child, and yell at the child.

Parents often yell at their children, children are prone to depression! Parents can't control their emotions, are there these 4 reasons?

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On the other hand, after suffering superimposed psychological trauma in the marriage relationship, some mothers will become like "Xianglin sisters", repeatedly nagging in front of their children, complaining about the child's father, and even saying some very difficult things:

"If it weren't for you, I would have divorced your father long ago."

"This can't be done well, that's not good, you are really as useless as your father, it's just waste!"

These words are enough to constitute verbal violence against the child, causing the child to have self-doubt, and gradually become inferior and depressed. But parents are not aware of this, let alone realize that couples often quarrel because of the incompatibility of the three views, and behind this are the negative factors of their different native families and growth environments.

Therefore, if the husband and wife quarrel continuously after marriage, if the two still want to maintain the marriage and hope for the good of the children, then they must run each other's three views in time. After each quarrel, the two people find time to express each other rationally in time, review the contradictions, and try to reach a mutually acceptable point of view, which helps to form a new and consistent three views as soon as possible.

Even if new and consistent three views cannot be formed, adults' affairs should be resolved privately among adults, and they should not quarrel in front of children, let alone use children as gas bags.

And if parents find it difficult to maintain a marriage, don't hold on to the so-called "giving your child a complete home." This obsession is often irrational, parents seem to be separated, lack of good communication, and the family atmosphere is depressed, which actually does more harm than good to children.

On the contrary, after the parents divorce, the emotions of both parties are more stable, so that the children can feel a more harmonious and harmonious parent-child atmosphere in life, see that the parents still love themselves and respect each other, and the children can also grow up mentally and healthily.

Second, some parents have a lot of pressure at work, and when they face leaders, they always have to be aggrieved, and even have to curry favor and curry favor. This situation is more common in fathers, who accumulate a lot of negative emotions at work, and when they return home and relax, they are prone to lose their temper with their wives and children.

I hope that these fathers will master the correct and scientific way to relieve stress, know how to regulate their emotions, and not bring negative emotions home. Otherwise, this will not only make the family atmosphere bad, the happiness index of everyone in the family is very low, adults cannot get real mental and physical relaxation, but also may cause children to suffer from mental and psychological disorders.

Third, some parents think that their children are still young and do not remember, and now yell at their children in order to better restrain their children's behavior and develop good habits and norms. When children grow up, they naturally forget, or naturally know the good intentions of their parents.

Objectively speaking, parents' yelling and scolding will indeed make young children form fearful conditioned reflexes, and soon dare not touch this "minefield", which seems to be learning to be well-behaved and have a long memory.

However, the biggest disadvantage of this education method is that it is easy to cause psychological trauma to children, destroy parent-child relationships, and bury hidden dangers for children's subsequent personality and behavior problems.

In a large number of pathological memory restoration practices under deep hypnosis, we found that individuals do not truly forget psychological traumatic events before the age of 2. On the contrary, these events will precipitate at the level of their implicit memory, affecting their mental psychology all the time.

For example, when a patient was just over the moon, because adults did not master the scientific method of caring for babies, they wrapped her in a lot of clothes, she cried so hot, and it took a long time for adults to wake up and reduce clothes for her. Since then, she has formed psychological trauma, especially afraid of heat, and when it is hot, she is easily irritable and wants to cry.

Also, the patient mentioned in the above video, Liu Ke, she has been introverted and timid since she was a child, and her parents and herself believe that this is natural. But we, like Sherlock Holmes, "solved" the case under deep hypnosis, which turned out to be a major connection with the psychological trauma Liu Ke suffered when he was 1 year old. Moreover, when we repaired the related psychological trauma, her personality became cheerful and her ability to communicate with others improved.

Therefore, parents must not think that their children are small, so they can not pay attention to their words and deeds and education methods. In fact, the younger the child, the more parents must adopt a scientific and intelligent education method to lay a good spiritual and psychological foundation for the child, especially to form positive personality qualities and a strong sense of security.

Because the psychological trauma suffered by infants and young children is easy to precipitate at the level of the child's implicit memory, even if the child forgets at the explicit memory level, these psychological traumas still affect the child at all times and become one of the psychological roots of the child's mental and psychological disorders.

Parents often yell at their children, children are prone to depression! Parents can't control their emotions, are there these 4 reasons?

Image from the Internet

Fourth, some parents have successful careers, even successful people, they are easy to develop a conceited psychology, and form a self-righteous, opinion-stubborn paranoid personality, even to the extent of personality changes and personality disorders.

These parents seriously lack the awareness and ability to self-reflect, and they think that they yell at their children to educate their children and help them become better adults in the future. They never realize the drawbacks of this education method, and they will unconsciously generalize their career success to other aspects, thinking that if they are so good, they will definitely be able to teach their children well. When it comes to homeschooling, they lack the mindset to maintain humility and lifelong learning.

Only when the child suffers from depression, bipolar disorder, cannot go to school, and the search for famous doctors is not effective, these parents are likely to begin self-reflection and realize that their child's illness has a lot to do with their past wrong education methods.

But I sincerely hope that my parents will not come to this point, and then regret it!

It is hoped that from this moment on, parents will consciously self-reflect, change and improve, master the correct and scientific family education methods, cultivate a truly close parent-child relationship with their children, and shape a good family atmosphere.

This is not only an effective measure to prevent children from suffering from mental and psychological disorders, but also the basic guarantee for children's healthy growth of mind and body, perfect personality and sense of security!

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