The cause of Li Min's depressed death exposed: 6 manifestations of children's depression, do parents know?
Author: Li Li, the main creative group
On July 5, singer Li Min's sister posted: CoCo (Li Min) unfortunately suffered from depression a few years ago.
After a long battle with the disease, his condition has taken a sharp turn for the worse recently, and he died at home on July 2.
After being sent to the hospital, he was in a coma, but after the hospital's efforts to rescue him were ineffective, he returned to his soul on July 5 and passed away.
I believe that many people are unwilling to face this fact.
It turned out that Li Min, who was energetic on the stage and loved to smile in the sun.
Unexpectedly, he suffered from depression for a long time, and finally chose to leave this world by suicide.
On July 2, Li Min also recorded a 40-second thank you voice to fans who cared about her.
She said: "Feel everyone's love and support for me, you are my backing, I will cheer, this time hope,
You are healthy and happy, I miss you all very much, I will work hard... Love you guys.”
This is her last love for the world, and it is also the last testimony of her persistence.
But where is her optimism and vitality in the eyes of the audience?
Is she so optimistic and depressed?
Li Min seems to be enthusiastic, unrestrained and energetic on the stage, but he does not want to live in serious mental internal friction for a long time.
It turned out that her father had died when she was born, and her mother struggled to survive with her three sisters who were waiting to be fed.
What is even more regrettable is that Li Min was born with a defect in his left leg since he was a child, and he has been singing and dancing on stage for so many years, completely supported by his right leg.
In fact, she endured great pain every time she danced, until she was no longer able to live normally, and she underwent surgery in March 2023.
At the time, she called herself "a female warrior" on social media and was about to learn to walk again.
Perhaps what defeated Li Min was not only physical suffering, but also a bad married life.
Li Min and her husband Bruce met as early as 2004, and after 7 years of love running, they married in 2011.
The man is sixteen years older than her, has been married once, and has two daughters with his ex-wife.
In order to have the crystallization of love between herself and her husband, Li Min did a full 9 test tubes, but all of them ended in failure.
During this period, the physical pain and the mental impact of the test tube failure constantly tormented her.
And her husband cheated one after another at this time, which made her bad mood even worse.
What is even more ironic is that after many years of marriage, Li Min has always regarded the two daughters of her husband and ex-wife as her own.
But after marrying her husband, the two stepdaughters broke off from her in a blink of an eye and sided with their biological father.
She was isolated and helpless in her marriage.
But Li Min never responds to his feelings in front of outsiders.
Maybe she left her good side to the world, but licked her wounds alone in the dead of night.
In 2020, Li wrote on Weibo: "It takes great courage and time to heal broken hearts. ”
That apparently powerful, perfect, sunny, all-powerful female warrior actually hides too much pain in her heart, and she has survived too many nights and pains alone.
This reminds me of the visitor, Xiaomei.
Xiaomei (pseudonym) is a beautiful girl who has just turned fifteen, but she has cut her wrists several times.
Xiaomei said that she often feels weak, depressed, unable to raise interest in anything, and feels that there is no way out in life.
After being reprimanded by her parents several times, she cut her wrist with a knife.
Xiaomei said that at that time, she proposed to her parents to see a psychologist, but their parents either refused or took advantage of the excuse to delay.
This was later confirmed in an interview with my mother.
The mother said with some excitement: I have heard of depression, but my children do not worry about food and clothing, isn't this a fuss?
The mother also said that if friends and neighbors knew that the child went to see the psyche, she might think that her child was mentally ill.
Depression, a flood beast in the eyes of parents
According to the WHO, as of 2022, 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression. That is, on average, 1 in 20 people is depressed.
In the mainland, the detection rate of depression among adolescents in 2020 was 24.6%.
Among them, mild depression was 17.2%, and severe depression was 7.4%; Girls are depressed at a higher rate than boys, while detection rates are higher in upper grades than in lower grades.
In fact, depression is treatable.
But many parents do not understand that adolescent depression is a negative emotional and behavioral response of children after encountering some difficulties.
At its core is pessimism, despair, helplessness, the belief that no one can understand themselves.
It is like our body is sick and needs to get a fever and cough, and needs regular treatment. Depression is not as terrible as a flood beast.
At Xiaomei's insistence, her parents finally accompanied her to the psychology department of a tertiary hospital, and after various examinations and tests, Xiaomei was judged to be major depression.
The doctor recommended that Xiaomei take antidepressant drugs and cooperate with psychological counseling.
Perhaps parents have an avoidance of fear in their subconscious.
They said that the drug had a stimulating effect, did not support Xiaomei to take it, and did not find a professional psychological counselor for Xiaomei.
A week later, during a conflict with her father, Xiaomei cut her wrists again. At that time, fortunately, it was discovered in time, so that it did not cause tragedy.
The parents panicked and remembered the doctor's advice.
Children have these 6 manifestations, parents must pay attention
Symptoms of depression are generally persistent low mood, loss of interest, and loss of pleasure (motivation).
Psychological writer Huang Qituan reminds parents that if they find that their children have the following 6 manifestations, they must pay attention, which may be their "distress signal":
1. Demeaning oneself, self-denial, and even self-harm
"Am I ugly?"
"Am I very dark-skinned?"
"Am I not good at everything?"
"Don't everyone like me?"
......
Children are overly sensitive when dealing with others, and they always talk about these self-denial words, thinking that they are worthless.
Whatever you do, blame yourself for the fault. In severe cases, self-harm may also be carried out using sharp tools such as knives.
2. If there is an abnormality in the body, there is no problem when you go to the hospital
Children will feel unwell when they are under excessive psychological pressure, anxiety or depression.
This is what psychology calls somatization, such as: headache, stomach pain, chest tightness, shortness of breath, heart discomfort, joint pain and so on.
If the child goes to the hospital for examination but finds that there is no obvious abnormality in the body, parents need to pay attention to whether it is related to psychological factors.
3. Grades slip and you start to get tired of school
When children are depressed, it is difficult to concentrate, attention is easy to lose, and grades will decline significantly.
Because of the loss of enthusiasm for things, children will have a great dislike for learning, so much so that they are tired of school.
4. Loss of interest in anything
For example, the habits and hobbies that children used to be interested in are no longer interested, and even their favorite mobile games are not willing to play.
The whole day is depressed, lack of energy, and can't do anything.
More often than not, they lock themselves in their rooms and are reluctant to contact others, including parents and friends.
5. Love tantrums and get emotional
Some seemingly inadvertent little things can cause children to have emotional storms, and this is different from "rebellion".
"Rebellion" is when a child disobeys the "orders" of his parents or teachers and wants to be valued and respected as an independent person.
Depression is mostly sudden anger or crying for no reason, and violent tendencies.
6. Poor sleep and irregular diet
Changes in mood can cause fluctuations in sleep and appetite, and the child will have problems with insomnia or lethargy, and the rhythm of life will be disturbed.
And refusal or excessive intake of food means that the child has undigested things hidden in his heart.
At this time, you can pay more attention to your child's food intake, or measure your weight regularly.
Children who are deeply depressed must be extremely pulling, anxious, painful, sometimes sleepy, sometimes insomnia, full of powerlessness...
Many times, some of their behaviors and behaviors that seem wrong are actually sending us a distress signal.
It's just that these signals seem faint and won't even be noticed if you don't pay attention.
As the closest person to the child, the sooner parents find out, the more they can avoid tragedy.
How to help a depressed child out of the quagmire
When a child is determined to be depressed, what should we parents do besides medication and psychological counseling?
1. Be a quiet listener
If you don't know how to help a depressed child, just be a quiet listener.
Let your child trust you unconditionally, give him a sense of security and an outlet for catharsis.
2. Do not respond indiscriminately
"Want to open a little, your situation is fine, isn't xxx worse than you?" This kind of "toxic comfort" only makes the situation worse.
Because for children, knowing the misfortunes of others does not make them happy, but makes them feel that there are so many unfortunate people in the world.
So, if you don't know how to comfort, try to identify with their emotions and don't make judgments and responses at will.
3. Give positive encouragement
In fact, when children take the initiative to ask for help, they have taken the first step to change themselves.
You can try to encourage him: "I know it's hard to overcome difficulties, but you are not alone, and you have a family to face with you."
4. Play sports with your child
Famous Italian doctors have done experiments, insisting on exercise, basking in the sun, and fighting depression is very effective.
Because the brain releases more uplifting dopamine during exercise, the dopamine hormone can fight the bad hormones of depression itself.
Parents can accompany their children for morning jogging to effectively exercise their children's perseverance and endurance.
Depressed children usually can't help but do something to hurt themselves, and cultivating perseverance and endurance can alleviate the self-inflicted hurt impulse caused by depression.
Written at the end:
If our child unfortunately has depression, in addition to formal treatment, we need to make our child understand:
He was never alone, his parents were always there for him!