In the past few days, the case of Hu Xinyu, who has been missing for 106 days, has finally come to a conclusion. No matter how many voices there are on the Internet, this fresh young life is finally frozen at the age of 15.
From the "mysterious disappearance" began to pay attention, to the disclosure of various details now, the truth of running away and committing suicide is shocking and painful, and I also feel deeply regretted.
In recent years, similar cases of adolescent suicide have been reported:
a Shanghai teenager who pushed his car door and jumped into the river on the highway;
a Wuhan teenager who chose to jump in front of his mother on the teaching floor;
Liu Xuezhou, a college student who whispered by the sea in Sanya;
……
Shocking cases, lamentable.
According to data released by the Beiyi Child Development Center, about 100,000 adolescents (13~16 years old) die by suicide every year in China, with an average of 2 suicide deaths and 8 suicide attempts every 1 minute.
Other developed countries, such as the United States and Japan, also have serious adolescent suicides.
Adolescents have long become one of the key prevention and treatment groups for depression in the mainland, and the National Health Commission has also clearly required depression screening to be included in the physical examination system of high schools and universities.
The mental health of adolescents cannot be ignored and deserves our careful treatment and high attention.
There are also many comments on the Internet that this is because modern young people are too fragile in their hearts, "not good at class, always thinking about things", but in fact, the real pressure and social situation faced by modern teenagers are not the same as in the past.
Adolescence is a period of great mood swings and easy to have emotional problems, and there are also various complex external factors such as competitive academic pressure, parent-child conflicts with tense relationships, sensitivity of interpersonal relationships, and deep Internet addiction, which are easy to trigger strong psychological conflicts among adolescents and affect the physical and mental health of adolescents.
In adolescence, they bear too many growth expectations that do not belong to them. They are like walking on a single wooden bridge, behind them are the earnest eyes of their parents and elders, beside them are the abyss that they will fall into at any time, and ahead is the future shrouded in fog; There is no room to retreat or stop, so you can only move forward cautiously and staggeringly, and if you make a mistake, it is an abyss.
As the saying goes, freezing three feet is not a day's cold, rivers bursting their banks, not a day's rain.
Before the child slides step by step into the irreparable abyss, they actually send various signals for help.
In fact, before Hu Xinyu left, he had repeatedly sent "distress signals" to the outside world:
Crying with family that they don't want to study and want to go home;
posting on social media that "I tried to disappear, it turns out that I really don't care";
He has said to classmates many times: "What is the meaning of living", "Whether I exist, there is no point anymore", "We are under pressure, life is not interesting, is it an appointment to jump off the building";
Write down your various negative emotions in a notebook or book. If someone could hear his voice and intervene, they might be able to hold him back as he walked towards the point of no return.
Similarly, in life, we should also be wary of these "distress" signals of children:
(1) Suddenly do not like to learn:
Some children originally had good academic performance, but suddenly became disinterested in learning, their interest in learning dropped significantly, they became truant and tired of school, they had no intention of studying, and their grades plummeted.
(2) Abnormal mood, pessimistic tendency:
Sometimes hyperactive, sometimes depressed. Sometimes children will show a radical state, full of aggression to the people around them, easy to be regarded by parents as rebellious, "bad" performance, but also sometimes become depressed, indifferent, do not like to talk to people, and easy to be classified as introverted performance.
And when children show pessimism and talk to people around them about their negative thoughts and negative emotions, it is easy to be regarded as thinking too much, doing too little homework, and ignoring the child's mental health.
(3) Overindulgence and the online world:
Many teenagers who are deeply addicted to the Internet often feel that real life is meaningless, less interested in real life, or feel that real life is too painful, so they can only let themselves escape into the virtual world.
And many parents are easy to be confused by appearances, severely criticize and scold their children, and some parents even adopt strict control, children will feel that they have nowhere to escape, and it is more likely to have thoughts of suicide.
(4) Sleep problems:
When our mental state is out of balance, the most vulnerable is our sleep. Many depressed patients have serious sleep problems such as difficulty falling asleep, waking up early, difficulty falling asleep after waking up, or lethargy.
Some teenagers will choose to play games, read novels, brush dramas or surf the Internet when they have insomnia, and parents are easy to see that after their children are addicted to playing mobile phones, they don't want to sleep at night and don't want to get up the next day.
(5) Frequent major crisis events in recent life:
The loss of loved ones, the breakdown of parents' marriages, the decline in academic performance, the break with friends and other crisis events closely related to the life of adolescents are likely to affect children's mental health.
(6) Long-term high-pressure environment:
family disharmony, even experiencing or experiencing domestic violence; High-pressure events such as school bullying, exclusion, and bullying experiences are likely to distort children's cognition and seriously affect children's physical and mental health.
The accumulation of pressure in all aspects may become the behind-the-scenes driving force for adolescents to become depressed or even dead.
Adolescents themselves are in a rebellious period, have a strong sense of self-esteem, rarely directly ask for help, most of them are in chaos and confusion, it is difficult to be aware of themselves. Therefore, families, schools and all aspects of society need to observe closely, see the child's voice for help, and timely guide intervention.
As an important growth environment for children, maintaining a good parent-child relationship is the greatest help to adolescent mental health.
But unfortunately, many parents now only pay attention to their children's learning, but rarely listen to what their children are talking about and see how their children are in a state.
Many teenagers who come to the consultation room, parents are talking about serious problems in their children, but in fact, it is often the parent-child relationship and family relationship that has problems.
Therefore, in adolescent counseling, in addition to working with children, counselors will also communicate with parents to help repair parent-child relationships and enable children to grow up in a caring and supportive environment.
According to Dr. Jane Nelson, a child should be met from birth with two needs – a sense of belonging and an affirmation of his or her importance.
Parents and families who can meet these two needs can naturally grow up with sunshine and peace of mind.
In the face of children in pain, what parents have to do is not deny, not preaching, not accusation; What should be done is to listen, see the child's pain, let ta say his feelings, just let the child have the feeling of "not necessarily understand, but I am with you", can help the child well.
In addition to families, there are also professional institutions in the community. When aware of the child's crisis situation, you can also seek professional psychological help, hospital or professional psychological counselor to provide support to the child.
In addition, everyone can experience feelings of depression, loss of control, hopelessness, and when we need mental health support, we can call the following numbers:
12355: Komsomol organizes a toll-free hotline for professional mental health support and legal services for adolescents
12320: A toll-free hotline for public health counseling, including mental health support
The psychology departments, health departments, universities and psychological research departments of major hospitals in each city also have psychological assistance hotlines opened to the society to provide immediate emotional relief and counseling.
One scientist who co-authored The State of the World's Children 2021 lamented: "This [mental health of adolescents] is an iceberg that we have neglected for a long time. There can be no more silence. ”
Pay attention to the physical and mental condition of children, detect crisis signs in time, and help them, so that the pressure can be released and they are standing on the edge of the cliff.
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