99% of people do not know that this act is the beginning of the death of love

Source: Courtesy (ID: bbylclub)

It is said that men's desire to control is terrible, but in fact, women's desire to control is even more terrible.

When your significant other says you're too controlling, you should be careful.

Because your desire to control will hurt people!

Today we take a look at the victimization experience of the following "victim".

For 20 days, I received WeChat from her almost every day, and all the content was the same.

"Why? Am I not good enough for you? ”

Every moment, I have an indescribable feeling of suffocation.

It reminds me of every quarrel and every moment I broke out of the door.

It's not that I don't love her anymore, I just don't know how to love her anymore. I've tried to run away countless times in the past three years, just because I don't want to be controlled by her anymore.

I want someone to understand how I feel.

When I first fell in love, I felt that she was the one who knew me best. She always brings me a lot of joy in life and silently accompanies me when I am tired.

In the first days she wouldn't ask me much, she wouldn't compare me to other men, and she wouldn't even give me more free space than my mom had given me. Every time she's around me, I think how life can be so comfortable.

She herself should have felt that way. At that time, she rarely competed with others for something, and it can be said that she lived a more Buddhist life. (The desire for control does not even have a shadow on her)

Her father left early, her mother had no regular job, and had long supported the family on an income from working as a temporary cleaner in an office building. She has always seen her mother's hard work in her eyes, so she has been very sensible since she was a child.

She told me, "I think I'm dragging my mom down to a better future." ”

So when she had the ability to make money, she began to take on the responsibility of the family, and she didn't want her mother to be a person who had always been very hard in the eyes of others.

Sometimes it hurts to see her trying so hard. I had promised in my heart that she would not have to live so carefully for the rest of her life.

but...... She didn't give me a chance to make it happen.

I thought about marrying her and giving her a complete, warm family.

Yes, it's marriage.

I even thought about what I should say when I went to see her mother so that her mother would marry her daughter to me.

But what I had in mind in my mind was gone in the near future like the afterglow of the setting sun.

I don't remember the day she started asking me often what I loved about her? How much love do you have for her?

At first I was patient in answering her questions and even thinking about her questions.

But slowly she asked more and more frequently, and I thought it was because I was too busy during that time, and the time spent with her was reduced, making her unhappy.

But then I found out that I was wrong.

Her desire for control began to grow stronger and stronger! She had to take care of everything I had to do, from my work to my sleeping position.

I am engaged in IT, almost every day can not leave the computer, many times have to work from home until late.

But since her desire for control soared, I was limited to using my computer at night. She would ask me not to code too loudly, otherwise it would affect her.

But these are my jobs!

One weekend I wanted to turn on the computer and watch a movie to relax. Before I could tell her what I thought, she asked me why I was turning on the computer. Then he asked me if I thought it was boring to be with her?

Whenever she does this I want to take her to counseling, and I really think she's sick!

Because I was really scared, I had no idea what I was doing wrong!

Ever since her desire for control appeared, I began to wonder why this was all of a sudden.

Friends say that women who are generally insecure have a high desire for control. In my opinion, the security thing, all I can give her is to get married, to give her a home, so I proposed to her.

When I told her about getting married, her expression was really unhappy. We discussed the date of the wedding, when to meet both parents, where to buy the marriage house, and so on.

I thought she would finally not have to amplify her desire for control because of her sense of security.

But women are really creatures that make me elusive.

Her desire for control remains undiminished, though not enhanced, but that's not good news either.

She began to ask me to respond to text messages quickly, even if I was busy at work, to return a "1". After work, you should call to report what time you arrive home, and if there is a traffic jam on the road, send a message to say it.

Once when we went to a nearby noodle restaurant to eat noodles, she had to sit on the side of the wall. The reason is that I can keep the wall on one side and her on the other. When eating, you can just look at the noodles and her, while opposite us is the transparent refrigerator for drinks...

Can you feel how I was feeling? It's a crash!

I was really getting out of her grip.

Finally we had one quarrel after another, and I began to resist.

After each argument, her control over me would fade for a while, but only temporarily. I really didn't know what else I was going to do, and the feeling of suffocation came back at the thought of this.

Finally, I mentioned breaking up, a week before we were about to buy a wedding house.

This is a man who is hurt by a woman's control desires.

We always say that there is a crisis in the relationship between two people in a relationship, and most of the reasons are from men. But sometimes we women are the "executioners" who kill love.

Especially women with a strong desire for control will always give men a sense of oppression that they cannot bear without their own consciousness. And men will be breathless because of this long-term oppression, and over time they will not want to be controlled anymore, and they do not want to continue the relationship.

In fact, many women do not know whether they are the controlling party in love and marriage. (Do you think you are?) ）

I don't know how to regulate my desire to control, so I have a failed love or a failed marriage.

Some female friends are even full of control over their friends, causing friends around them to become more and more alienated from her.

So here is a warm reminder to the majority of female friends;

When someone says to you, "Your desire for control is a little stronger," you should be careful.

If you're about to lose your lover because of your desire for control, don't feel indifferent anymore.

Don't let blindness bring you more losses.

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Write to a girlfriend

Dear girlfriends, the desire to control is a big hidden danger in intimate relationships.

Many girlfriends with low security put a "tight curse" on their partners

When he can't stand the "high-pressure atmosphere", disgusts and dislikes you, and is afraid when he thinks of you, he can only leave decisively.

Author's profile: This article is reproduced from Binbin (ID: bbylclub), author: Slowly, a public account that makes women strong and warm, focuses on women's self-growth, and interprets emotional confusion for girlfriends.