Can you feel a deep sense of control over your child? If you are aware, it is best to change yourself as soon as possible, otherwise it is easy to cause harm to the child's psychology.
So how do you overcome your desire for control?
1, first of all, the mother should first take care of herself and satisfy herself
Moms should have their own hobbies and friends, and achieve self-satisfaction through their own efforts, rather than expecting others to satisfy themselves, so as to feel the fullness of life. When a person's heart is strong, interpersonal relationships will be the icing on the cake for him, rather than sending charcoal in the snow.
When the child was very young, he was obedient and obedient because he was attached to his mother. But when the child grows up with a strong sense of self and begins to work hard to maintain himself, he will clash with his mother. In fact, the mother should think about whether the impression she gives to the child is "the mother is very wronged and easy to be hurt", or "the mother is very strong and has a strong heart"? This is very important for the growth of the child.
2. Nonviolent communication
To establish a good parent-child relationship, the authors recommend using nonviolent communication. When a conflict occurs, it is recommended that the mother first calm down, jump out of her own identity, objectively examine the incident, and see what really happened.
For example, the mother asks the child to write homework, and the child does not go. So, what did Mom think when she made these requests? She may already be tired and want to rest early. In fact, mothers can try to express their needs directly and let their children know.
Of course, expression should be based on mutual respect, not on making demands and commands. For example, the mother can try to say in a gentle tone: "Child, the mother has been busy for a day, and now she is very tired, I hope you can do your homework between what time and what time." This way Mom can go to bed early and you can rest well. “
Such an expression is not emotional, not a command, no blame, nor a forced urge, but it can make the child feel the respect of his mother.
At this time, the child is facing a real mother, not a good mother in disguise, nor a mother with strong emotions. Learn to calmly express your inner feelings and needs, so as to establish a better parent-child relationship.
Have you learned how to overcome your desire for control?