Some people say that a happy childhood will heal a lifetime; an unhappy childhood needs a lifetime to heal.
Think about it, if the parents are emotionally fragile and the little things will start to fluctuate, then what will the child become when he grows up?
How sensitive and fragile should the soul of a child who grew up in such a native family be? Emotionally fragile parents, the most typical performance, is that they can't control their mouths. Your irritable emotions are strong enough to determine your child's character for a lifetime.
15 common personalities
Juliet Virzi, a foreign psychologist who interviewed many children who grew up in such families, summed up 15 common personalities.
Let's take a look at what kind of child is your child?
1. Keep apologizing
Because the parents have a bad temper, some children will always apologize, for fear of igniting the parents' fiery temper.
Children who grow up in such a family will always remain vigilant and become cautious.
2. Think too much
Parents' emotions are easily out of control, which can cause children to think too much.
Because when the parents' emotions erupt, the child will think, is it that I have made a mistake again, what did I do wrong and make the mother unhappy? Such thoughts can cause children to fall into anxiety and be tormented by the bad emotions of their parents.
3. Be particularly afraid of disappointing people
This is the typical "flattering personality". Such a child always tries to please others, take care of other people's feelings, consider the needs of others, and are afraid of others' disappointment.
Therefore, children with such a personality live so tired and live without self!
4. Control
Emotionally irritable families will also raise children with a desire for control.
Some children feel like "I can't control my desire for control because I feel responsible for how everyone feels."
Such a child always tries to control everything within his control, so as not to make his parents dissatisfied with the slightest negligence.
5. Take care of everyone
Your child is a "good old man", just ask you if you are tired?
Children who grow up in irritable families have gone through the storms and know how to take care of their parents' emotions.
Therefore, when they deal with people outside, they will also know how to take care of other people's emotions and feelings, and even naturally become the role of big brother and big sister.
6. Difficult to choose
In the TV series "Little Joy", the role of Song Qian, played by Tao Hong, is not only a mother with a strong desire for control, but also a fragile and sensitive mother.
She can cry and argue with her daughter because of a movie; she can destroy the secret base that Qiao Weidong created for her daughter; she can also cut off her way to apply for Nanda in order to keep her daughter around, causing Qiao Yingzi to lose sleep for a long time and collapse and jump into the river.
She designs a future for Qiao Yingzi everywhere and chooses life for her daughter, causing her daughter to be wary of her mother while falling into endless painful choices.
Therefore, Qiao Yingzi would lose sleep for more than a month, and Nanda became the last straw that crushed her.
7. Ignore your feelings
Because parents are irritable, children try to hide themselves as much as possible to avoid direct conflict with their parents.
They ignore their feelings because there is so much pain in life that children have to be less miserable.
8. Always please others
One child said: "My father abused me both physically and emotionally, and now, I don't talk about my feelings, but always try to please others, even if it means hurting myself." ”
Another child also said:
"I am always flattering others, always careful to think of every word spoken, always pleasing others. Because if I don't, I may face severe depression or sudden outbursts. ”
9. Feel like a supporting character in life
Some netizens said: "No matter how much I pay, I am the one who has been abandoned." ”
Such a child eventually lived himself into a supporting role in life.
Because they can't take the results into their own hands. In the face of the bad emotions of our parents, it is difficult for us to live according to our own wishes.
10. Insecurity
The child's sense of security is given by the parents.
But if the parents are not in a good mood, and they can't move "how did I raise such a thing as you" and "just when I didn't give birth to you", how can the child be happy and feel safe?
11. Feel that other people's actions always have a deep meaning
This kind of personality of the child is similar to "thinking too much".
There are children who say:
"Someone else's inadvertent remark, or a small body movement, will make me alert, make me think that he is hinting at something, and make me think about it."
"I often feel like these little clues are meant to prepare me for the breakdown of my life, to prepare me, and I'm even used to doing it and can't change it."
12. Refusal of person thousands of miles away
Parents are originals and children are photocopies. Emotionally irritable parents always push their children away and isolate themselves. Children under the influence of their parents always refuse to communicate with their parents and even others and get along well.
13. Glass heart
Emotionally unstable parents are typical glass hearts, who are shocked when they encounter small things, and they are not stable at all.
And some children, under the influence of this emotion, will also become sensitive and vulnerable, and they cannot control their emotions well about anything.
14. Help others clean up the mess
In the TV series "Flowing Good Time", Yi Yao is a person who often helps his mother clean up the mess.
Mom drank heavily all day because of the failure of her marriage, and her temper became unusually grumpy.
She was drunk all day, often lost, quarreled with the neighbors, and blamed Yi Yao and got angry at her.
And Yi Yao, on the other hand, can only clean up the mess for her every time: apologize to the neighbors, pull back the beer truck that her mother left outside, clean up the home that is confused by vomiting...
15. Empathy
This psychiatrist came to this conclusion, many people did not expect.
One of the children said:
"Growing up in a family like this wasn't entirely a bad thing, and I realized that when I was very young, I learned how to put myself in the shoes of others."
"When I was only 3 years old, my mom was crying and I went to get her the stuffed teddy bear in her room."
Most of the above 15 personality performances are bad performance under the influence of emotionally fragile parents. Would you rather have your own children like this?
The emotional peace of parents is the greatest education for children
Presumably, all parents do not want to hurt their children because of their emotions.
Therefore, in the process of getting along with children, parents need to control their emotions, get angry with their children less, and talk to their children well.
In a sense: the emotional peace of parents is the greatest education for children.
The child's good temper comes from the subtle influence of the parents and the guidance of words and deeds. The way parents behave for people, the expression of emotions, the attitude towards life... None of them affects the formation of all behavior habits of children, including emotional management.
Parents are like a mirror, and the quality of emotions will be directly engraved on the child and become the way the child grows up.
Parents who lose their temper are like a time bomb to their children, never knowing when they will explode; they are also like viruses, slowly corroding children's hearts, and children's mentality is easy to collapse and look beyond recognition.
Finally, no matter how "angry" the situation is faced, I hope that all parents will not be swayed by emotions, let alone defeated by their own emotions.
In the relationship with children, it can effectively control emotions, give children a blue sky and white clouds of love, and help children grow up healthy and happy.
Reprinted | Good Mom Good Dad Good Kids Pictures | Photo network
Responsible editor 丨 Li Pei Editor-in-chief 丨 Zhang Xuelian