Xiao Li is emo again today.
As a graduate of this year, she rotated through various departments of the unit due to internship requirements. But Xiao Li found that no matter which department she changed to, she would always encounter things that made her unhappy, and her mood was always easy to become depressed, and she suddenly became emo.
The boss inadvertently said, "What is taught in school is useless, what is really useful lies in practice and experience." Xiao Li's mood suddenly became very low, and he kept speculating in his heart:
What does this mean?
Why did the boss say this?
Does he mean to say that I haven't learned enough, or that I'm useless, a nerd?
Did I not do a good job, and my boss had an opinion?
……
Various thoughts made Xiao Li very troubled and difficult to sleep at night. And when he thought of continuing to go to work after getting up the next day and facing his boss, Xiao Li suddenly couldn't sleep, crying silently, and didn't want to get up.
Similar situations, Xiao Li has experienced many times in the internship.
If there is a little mistake in the work, she will easily emo it, feel that the leader is dissatisfied again, she can't do anything well, she may not be qualified for the job, the work is too difficult;
Colleagues complained about some difficult customers and some low-level work mistakes in the chat, and she would suddenly emo it, feeling that she couldn't do it, couldn't get it, and was depressed and depressed.
Xiao Li felt so uncomfortable, he didn't want to let himself emo at every turn, but he couldn't control himself. It's always easy to think about it, always feel that you are not doing well, very useless, in a bad state, emotionally unstable, and do not know what to do.
Looking at the same group of students who came to intern, they were all happy and active, while they were always cautious and depressed, and emo because of this or that. Xiao Li was very depressed and confused, not knowing if he was like this because he couldn't adapt to work.
In life, many people, like Xiao Li, fall into daily emo:
I didn't do well in the exam, emo
Scolded by parents and emo
Friends have a conflict, emo it
People who like me don't like me, emo too
The favorite idols collapsed and emo the house
The knocked CP is fake, emo
……
Frustration, frustration, sadness, disappointment, anger, anxiety, depression, depression, weakness, etc., may be felt as "emo", and suddenly fall into the emotional trough and cannot extricate themselves.
In fact, sometimes, it is not things that make us uncomfortable, but our thoughts that make us uncomfortable, and often we don't realize it.
Just like the boss's sentence, it may only be expressing some of his own feelings, but in Xiao Li's feelings, it becomes that the boss has "unspoken meaning", is denying himself, thereby denying himself and questioning himself.
This habitual way of denying oneself is a typical feature of depressive thinking. Look at your surroundings and yourself in a negative light, and let yourself fall into a depressed mood all of a sudden.
Xiao Li is easy to emo, and an important reason is that she is used to thinking about things with depressive thinking. This will make her constantly guess the meaning of the other party's expression because of someone else's words, and make negative expectations, and it is easy to feel that the other party is denying herself and criticizing herself, and then fall into negative emotions.
People who are prone to emo are sometimes prone to trapping themselves in "obsessive thinking". Always thinking about that bad thing, thinking all the bad things in my head, thinking all the time, even overthinking.
Sometimes the bad things you encounter may not be big, but because you have been thinking about it, you keep allowing yourself to repeat the feelings at that time, and under the blessing of negative thinking, negative feelings continue to superimpose, resulting in yourself being particularly prone to emo, or even emo for a long time.
People who are prone to emo are also prone to negative attribution. Attribute positive things to the outside and negative things to yourself.
A good exam is too easy for the teacher to come up with questions; If you can't take the test, you can't do it, or you are useless.
If you get 80 points, the test questions are too simple, and the 20 points you don't get are you can't do it and don't do it well.
Can't see their own advantages and good places, get used to staring at their own shortcomings, magnify some small mistakes, fiercely condemn and criticize themselves in their hearts, and prolong their negative emotions.
Why is it so easy for Xiao Li to emo in internship?
It is because she can easily magnify the consequences of some small mistakes and turn ordinary negative events into catastrophic events. The consequences of catastrophe, which I can't bear, make myself feel "terrible" and my mood becomes very low.
So, behind the easy emo, it's your thinking that is at work.
Cognition affects emotions, and distorted thinking patterns are important factors that lead to negative emotions such as low mood, self-blame, low self-esteem, and low value.
When you look at the world with a black filter, you naturally feel that the world is dark.
And negative thinking is such a black filter, making us feel that the unsatisfactory, bumpy, and challenging encounters are negative events, making us become emo all of a sudden.