The company's new crooked nut sent me a Christmas gift in advance: "On the day of the Spring Festival, you will also send me a gift." I want this gift twice! I nodded and said, "On the day of the Spring Festival, I am like this."

The company's new crooked nut sent me a Christmas gift in advance: "On the day of the Spring Festival, you will also send me a gift." I want this gift twice! I nodded and said, "On the day of the Spring Festival, if I am in the company, I will definitely send it to you!" ", crooked nuts are very cheerful, high-fives with me! I thought: Who is still in the company on the day of the Spring Festival...

2, when I was a child, after listening to "Nocturne", I thought it was too beautiful, so I fell in love with music, so I asked my father to buy me a piano, he said: "It's not that I don't have money, the piano is good, but it's not practical." For example, if you perform a show in kindergarten, you can't always find a few people to carry a piano to school. Still, Dad will certainly satisfy your musical dreams. "Later, Dad bought me a popsicle and a rattle!"

3. The three golden daughters-in-law bought for my daughter-in-law when I got married a few years ago have not been willing to bring it and put it on the window table. Recently, I suddenly found that it was missing, all kinds of searches were not found, and it was very strange that other valuables with sanjin were all there, unlike being stolen. I knelt on the keyboard and reflected all afternoon without a clue. Just now I was on my way to the kindergarten to pick up the child, I was called to the office, and the teacher took out my family's gold ring gold necklace gold earrings: Your son took these today and proposed to me...

4, jellyfish is a very beautiful transparent plankton in the ocean, its shape is like a transparent umbrella. Jellyfish contain toxins, some of which are as toxic as cobras. Jellyfish are afraid of being exposed to the sun and will evaporate under the sun, because more than 95% of their bodies are composed of oil and water.

5, this time there are some colds, this morning I went downstairs to the pharmacy to buy masks. As I put it on, I said to the clerk, "Now everything is cutting corners, even a cloth mask." The mask I bought last time here can still cover my entire face, and now half of my face can't cover it. Only to see the clerk sister glanced at me, said with a bad smile: "Sister, our mask is a specification, you have not thought about it, is not the problem of masks?" ”

6, this day, my girlfriend came to the house to eat, my mother made a table of meals, the mother added a fish head to the girlfriend, and the girlfriend put it on the plate. Mom: Why don't you eat fish heads? Girlfriend: The last time I ate at my uncle's house, my uncle also gave me a fish head, and when I finished eating, I looked up and ate the whole table. I:......

7, I remember when I first entered the company, I saw a girl on the employee information column who was very beautiful, and then said to a colleague: "Who married this girl is blessed, and I don't know which pig arched it." Who knew that a colleague on the side came quietly and said, "It was arched by my pig." "I went, and in an instant all kinds of embarrassment!

8, the director of the regular meeting did not bring a pen, casually picked up the pen of the female subordinate, the female subordinate shouted not to move the pen, but the director did not pay attention to the female subordinate, the authority director wrote when the pen was written, the subordinate was shaking all over the body, because there was no ink in her pen, and it was found that her meeting notes were fake.

9, one of my ideals is to travel the world before the age of forty, to explore various places. On this day, I was breathing fresh air on the top of Mount Everest!! Suddenly I saw a divine lamp at my feet, picked it up and wiped it twice, and the lamp god slowly floated out: Mortal, thank you for saving me, I can fulfill your wish. I said happily: "Lamp God, I have been single for more than 20 years, and I want to find a rich woman as a girlfriend in my lifetime. Lamp God: Oh, congratulations, mortals, you have received eternal life!!

10, I bet with a classmate to see who can't stand the cold in the winter to add clothes, and finally I won, and I also had a heavy cold... I had to go to the infirmary for injections, and I happened to meet a girl who was also getting needles. The girl was particularly afraid, and said to the boy who accompanied her: It's okay, just a little pain, well, you hide your head in my arms and it won't hurt. Then the boy pulled open the down jacket, and the girl obediently slipped her head into his arms. The nurse began to insert the needle, and as soon as the needle was inserted, the boy began to scream. The nurse looked at the boy: It's not you, what's your name? The boy pointed at the girl with tears in his eyes and said: She bites my belly!

1 When a buddy does surgery, idle bored, and nervous, talk to the doctor, the doctor while doing surgery, buddy feel that the doctor perfunctory him, he told the doctor joke, the doctor really can't help it, just stop to help the operation is said, your joke is not funny, you talk again to give you general anesthesia. The buddy later said that the doctor was a liar, shaking his hands on the surgical quilt, his face was twitching, and he said it was not funny.

12, the husband sighed: Alas, my physique is getting worse and worse. His wife teased him: wild boars can live for 50 years, while domestic pigs only have 5 years of life; wild dogs can live for 20 years, while domestic dogs only have 8 years of life, life lies in sports, who tells you to shrink like a turtle all day long! The husband listened and asked: Wife, how many years can the turtle live?

13, and Lao Zhang riding a shared bicycle morning exercise, Lao Zhang suddenly said: "Look! Beauty!" Then it sped up and rushed over! Suddenly, an electric donkey sprang up at a fork in the road ahead. A "bang" slammed into the old Zhang rear wheel! Old Zhang Lianren was hit by the car and turned three times before he fell to the ground in response. I quickly helped Lao Zhang up, and Lao Zhang asked me with a confused face: "What just happened?" Where's the beauty? "You're a two-timer!" You've just almost lost it! Still in the mood to see beautiful women?

14. In class, the English teacher asked a classmate to stand up and read the family essay left yesterday. After the classmate stood up, while reading, the teacher corrected his grammar errors. Later, the teacher really couldn't listen to it anymore, so he went down and took the classmate's book and read it for himself. As a result, the teacher was speechless at the time, and there was nothing in the homework book...