Miss Wang sent an email, saying that she had arrived at the age of establishment in a flash, and she had not had a good relationship, and inexplicably became a leftover woman, deeply uneasy and ashamed.
After face-to-face communication, I guess miss Wang's real feelings in her heart have nothing to do with shame, but with grievances and unwillingness.
Miss Wang is beautiful and smart, has a good family and a good job, and has a good economic situation. Her speech and demeanor all reveal a sense of superiority. And the sense of superiority added to her anxiety. She felt that she was so excellent, but the love marriage was delayed, and those classmates and colleagues who were worse than her were smoothly married in love.
Because of winning, so leftover, so aggrieved, so anxious. She said angrily: According to my conditions, there is no love so far, it is too unfair and unreasonable.
However, the most unfair and unreasonable thing in this world may be love. Whether it will come or not, when it will come, and what it will be like, no one knows.
I asked Miss Wang what she longed for most at the moment, love or marriage? She said it was not very clear, it was better to have both, to love and to marry.
I suggested that she do a rational and emotional test to help her see whether her rational component is heavy or emotional. In the test results, her rationality score was as high as 79 points, and the degree of rationality was very high.
There is no right or wrong between rationality and sensibility, it's just that rational people are more pragmatic and need marriage more. Sensual people are more spontaneous and need love more. Emotional people see marriage more as the destination of love, without love, the best way is to wait. Rational people more regard marriage as reciprocal cooperation, the conditions are quite suitable for the most important, there is no marriage, then correct the conditions to adjust the standard, active efforts, must be found.
Relatively speaking, emotional people are more likely to fall in love, and feel passion and happiness in love. Rational people are more likely to get married, and in marriage get a kind of long-term plainness and steadfastness. This is also a kind of happiness, and it is worth cherishing the happiness of the bystander.
Miss Wang's entanglement is that she does not understand what she wants, she wants both the happiness of love and the solidity of marriage. In this way, it is easy to cause confusion, to find love in the way of finding marriage, to desire marriage in the name of thirst for love.
Of course, love and marriage are the most ideal, but ideals are ideals after all. When you can't have both, everyone must ultimately face their truest core needs.
Miss Wang has a high degree of rationality, and after considering it, she said that she first needs to meet the needs of marriage.
I suggest that she think clearly about her specific criteria for a marriage partner, and that standard should be both objective and feasible, and then take it as a goal and work hard for it.
Miss Wang said that her standards have not changed, and a good man with a successful career.
I think this standard is too general, what is career success, what is a good man? Everyone understands it differently, not as specifically.
I have always believed that the ideal marriage partner's criteria are, first of all, a healthy body and mind, good character, and the ability to live independently. In addition, marriage is ultimately a contract and a cooperative relationship, you have your standards and requirements, and the other party also has its own standards and requirements. You are equal, you have to find a good person, you have to be a good person first. What you want to get in marriage, you must first think about what you can give.
I suggest that Miss Wang should not call herself or other single ladies as leftover women. Single unmarried should not be derogatory, and every state of life deserves respect. Moreover, some people's love marriages only come a little later, and late-ripening apples are sweeter, what does it matter?
Also, you don't have to attribute being single just because you're good, and life isn't so much because of it. Love life, love yourself, believe that anything is possible.
Text: Zhang Liao
Editor| Xie Bing guo juan