Hello, hello everyone, I am Min'er, do a good job of not being busy and idle, live a wonderful life that is not salty and not light, and you and I walk together on the road of feelings...
Leftover men and leftover women are not the same, many people think so.
Most of the leftover men are left because the conditions are not good, after all, there are more men and fewer women, girls are not worried about marriage, and the remaining ones that are picked are basically some "crooked melons and crack dates".
And the leftover women are different, most of them are because they are too picky, too high to pick and choose back to the old age, not to be left behind, but to pick the eyes.
But there will also be people who have the opposite idea, thinking that leftover women are because of their eccentric personalities, and leftover men can get married if they want to get married, but they have not yet found the right one, or they are busy with work.
I don't know what everyone thinks, but I think that there is nothing different about the leftover men and leftover women, the leftover men are also excellent, the leftover women are also excellent, of course, there are naturally some of the two groups that are not so good in their own conditions, not that one group has problems, but some of them have problems.
But these are not the most important reasons for the remaining, many people do not notice that most of the leftover men and women are common, that is, low emotional intelligence.
I have two "small requests", why doesn't anyone marry me?
Cheng Xuan found me, nothing more than to ask me what was wrong with his mate selection criteria, so that he actively wanted to get married, but he couldn't find the right person, or to put it bluntly, no one was willing to marry him.
In fact, Cheng Xuan's conditions were not bad, although he was almost forty years old, a standard older leftover man, but he thought that he was not the same as the average older leftover man.
"Many of the leftover men who have become older are leftovers because their families are poor and they have no ability, so they are left behind, but I am different, even if I am a leftover man, I am also a high-quality leftover man, and I should not be left behind."
Cheng Xuan is not exaggerating, relatively speaking, he is indeed relatively high-quality, he works in a big city, and in the past few years he has bought a house in a big city by relying on his savings for many years, according to the reason, he should indeed be easy to get married, but all this has been messed up by himself.
Cheng Xuan's original family is actually not very good, he comes from a small city in the eighteenth line, his parents do not have a stable job, he works outside the home for many years, he knows that his life is much lower than many people when he is young, so he works harder than anyone.
Study hard, try to fight for the future for yourself, when entering the university because of too much nervous failure, he once felt that his life was over, decadent for a while, casually chose a computer major to study, but after going to college, he suddenly found that he was crooked, and the major he studied was actually very promising.
A few years ago, he began to teach himself programming, when he graduated from college, he took his own work to the interview, because of the actual professional ability, and then was admitted by a large company, and now in the company's technical department, he has achieved the position of technical director.
His work has been very busy, has not had the opportunity to fall in love, coupled with some too straight personality, and girls have not been a common topic, that is, usually called "straight male cancer", and girls chat for three or two sentences, people roll their eyes and ignore him, therefore, the only few chances of friendship with the opposite sex, he finally did not return.
Now he has done the best in his peers at work, and is eager to get married, but every blind date, or not smooth, originally may have talked very well, but when he said his two "small requests" about marriage, the other party will always find various reasons to reject him, some are more euphemistic, but some are more direct, do not give him a face at all, directly turn around and leave, it is obvious that the reason for his blind date failure is mainly in his request.
However, Cheng Xuan himself did not feel that he was very distressed: "I think my requirements are not high, I know that my own conditions are not good, my original family can not give me much help, I have been trying to create better living conditions for myself in my nearly forty years of life, just to marry a wife, should not have this condition?" Don't you want me to do anything, and marry a woman? Am I really wrong? ”
What exactly are Cheng Xuan's conditions? From the mouth of a woman he once dated, we know the truth.
"He's a person, I really don't know what to say, you have to say it's because his conditions are not good, it's really not, he is really good at work, just look at this aspect really can, but how he said this person, that is, the emotional intelligence is really too low, so that girls can't have a good feeling for him."
At first, I had a good impression of him, and I met him several times, until he told me a lot of how he worked hard and how to succeed, so far, I didn't feel anything, a self-motivated man even if he was a little boastful that he was qualified, but he began to tell me as soon as he turned around, saying that he worked so hard to marry a young and beautiful wife, and he had these two requirements, young and beautiful, and could meet these two, anyone can.
After I listened, the impression of him really dropped to the end, I found out that he and I were close, because I was young, I looked good, young and beautiful girls went more, younger and more beautiful than me, according to his standard is indeed anyone can, his standard makes me think that he likes a group of people, not a person, he only looks at the skin bag, young and good-looking skin bag more to go, then after I marry him, when I no longer look good, old and faded, is he going to prepare to change one?
I think most girls, even if they value his material conditions, will hesitate to hear such words, because this kind of man really makes people feel unreliable, and it is easy to be abandoned when married, so why should I marry you?
I say the truth, he is still too low emotional intelligence, these words he could have put in his heart and not said them, but he had to say them, he is not single who is single, he just deserves to be left, there is nothing to sympathize with. ”
This girl is not wrong, no matter how you look at it, Cheng Xuan's conditions should not be left behind, the main reason is because his emotional intelligence is too low, some words should not be said properly, he said to the outside, this is the main reason why he was left behind.
It is not that I teach everyone to be dishonest, some words are bound to hurt each other and provoke each other to resent, so why do you say it? This is an interpersonal technique, and if everyone speaks out what they really think, then I think the world will probably be messed up.
Think about it, when your boss asks you to stay and work overtime, the national curse in your heart blurts out, and when your friend invites your child to a full moon feast, you do not bless but complain to your face and spend unnecessary money.
Some words, put in mind and not said, are good for both sides, because everyone is a little careful, everyone has secrets, and that's fine.
If you say it, you will be like Cheng Xuan, this may be his big truth, he does not intend to express anything, but he feels that he has worked hard for so many years to have a better life, more choices, and a more comfortable life.
There is nothing wrong with this in itself, everyone will have requirements when choosing a mate, but when you say it, the taste will change.
In marriage, sometimes, material or appearance, may not be the most important failure factor, the most important thing is emotional intelligence, but some people always do not understand.
Making the other party comfortable with you is the first step to the beginning of love, otherwise your conditions are good, the first step can not go out, everything is in vain. Good times are always short, thank you for reading here, I hope the story between us will continue, Xiaobian is ready to listen here, is your story ready?