The repentance of the 40-year-old leftover girl: When she is not confused, she realizes that she was wrong

01

In the environment of "more men and fewer women", how are the older leftover women left behind step by step?

Nowadays, the elderly leftover men and women have become a hot topic in society.

On the one hand, it is the leftover man who shouts every day that he can't find a girlfriend and can't marry a wife. On the other side, it is the leftover women who are complaining, "Where have all the good men gone?" Why can't I meet it? ”

Men can't marry their daughters-in-law, and there are still traces to follow. Because in the process of marriage, the social requirements for men are often more stringent, and many marriageable men lose the battle on the issue of high-priced bride price and marriage room.

The reason why the older leftover women are left can be roughly divided into the following two situations:

First, high-quality leftover women. The so-called high-quality leftover women are what people call the "three high leftover women", that is, professional women with high education, high income and high occupation. They are also known as "3S girls" – Single (single), Stuck (stuck), Senventies (mostly born in the 1970s).

This kind of woman not only requires the other party to match herself in material and social status, but also hopes that the other party is a soul mate who can have a high level of spiritual fit with herself, and appears more rational in the concept of mate selection.

Second, low-quality leftover women. It is worth noting that the low quality here is not a low education, low income, and low occupation as opposed to high quality. Rather, it refers to older women who are unable to face up to their own conditions and delusionally want to maximize their benefits through gender advantage.

The same is the slogan of shouting "prefer elegant singleness, not low-quality marriage", the former is driven by heartfelt pursuit, and the latter is driven by interests, not to the Yellow River.

02

Jiaojiao is 40 years old today, is the legendary "Qi Tian Dasheng", the mother and fetus have been single for 40 years.

Single mother-fetus refers to those who have been single since birth and have never been in love. In the traditional impression, such people are either in poor physical condition or isolated and difficult to get along with.

However, Jiaojiao is a girl from small beauty to adulthood, and her personality is easy to get along with, and everyone is smiling when she sees her. Even if she has a mediocre job and a mediocre education, she has no other advantages besides beauty. But at the age of 25 or 26, such a bright woman is still very favored by the opposite sex, and there is never a shortage of suitors around.

It may be that from childhood, it is deeply poisoned by the idea that "girls do a good job, it is better to marry", plus they are accustomed to listening to compliments, and they are determined that they will become a rich man. Therefore, she has always looked down on the boys who pursue her, even if there are some relatively good conditions, but she still feels that there are better waiting for her in the back, turning away all the admirers.

I remember that in the TV series "Flowing Golden Years", Fan Jingang said such a passage to Zhu Suosuo:

"If you have the ability, then looking pretty is the icing on the cake." But if you don't have the ability to be beautiful and still self-righteous, that's stupidity. Because in this world, there is no shortage of young and beautiful girls, who are like cokes on the production line, which are continuously produced and then placed on the shelves for others to choose. ”

In life, those elderly leftover women who look outstanding are often prone to walk into a misunderstanding of beauty as capital. I think that as long as I am beautiful, it is equivalent to holding the stepping stone of a rich life and living an ideal life. Therefore, at the best age, willfully reject many originally suitable loves.

These girls who mistakenly regard beauty as capital pick and choose love, and often become low-quality older leftover women in the end.

When you are older, watching your classmates and girlfriends around you get married and have children, and your ageing self in the mirror, Jiaojiao also has a sense of crisis.

However, at this time, there are fewer and fewer high-quality men in the marriage market. The boys I couldn't look up to before were all married. And the younger and more beautiful girl than herself, like an unfinished leek, stubble after stubble. Men who think they are excellent also seem to be more willing to associate with those little girls.

Although she has also tried to get along with the opposite sex with slightly worse conditions, it has not worked out. Either she hates the other party for not having a car or a house, or the other party dislikes her for being old and not good for children. In short, every blind date will fail.

Even shouting "marriage is not a woman's necessity" and "prefer elegant singleness to low-quality marriage" can hardly hide her inner anxiety and sense of powerlessness for a good marriage.

Young girls have a bit of a posture and often pin their hopes on marriage. But "flowers are not red", no matter how good the face is, there is an aging day, if a man covets beauty and marries you, one day he will abandon you because of a more beautiful girl.

So don't be blinded by the gender dividend. Don't covet comfort at the age of struggle, fight for what you want, even if you become a leftover woman one day, it is because you are too good, not "you are not worthy". Those who can truly achieve "elegant singleness" must be attractive women with independent personalities, not vases with their faces.

Also a 40-year-old leftover woman, the delicate supervisor lives a particularly clear life. Proper maintenance, stable work, economic independence, and more calm treatment of love.

Looking at her, it was not until the age of confusion that the delicate petite realized that it was her mistake. At the best age, I didn't work hard to manage myself, nor did I have a good relationship, even if it was just to give myself a chance to love others.

03

Girls like Petite who want to exchange gender advantages for a superior life abound. Once this idea arises, it will run through the entire mate selection process from their youth.

I mentioned in previous articles that both men and women should be more realistic when choosing who to marry. Because marriage itself is realistic, it needs love, and it also needs bread.

But this reality should be based on correct self-perception and correct cognition of men.

After all, the best men in this world are still a minority, and most of them are ordinary wage earners. If there is really a high-quality single man who wants to get married and have children, then he will definitely consider the overall value of women. For example, age, education, family background, etc.

The elderly leftover women, just the age of this item, are directly passed.

Like the flowers in the garden, everyone wants delicate flowers, and who have you ever seen hold a withered flower in the palm of their hand? This is not poisonous chicken soup, but reality.

Recognizing the status quo early and making changes in time is the most effective way for older leftover women to save themselves.

Low-quality leftover women over the age of 40 are almost zero competitive in the marriage market, but they are not without the possibility of encountering true love. What I want to say is that the standard for treating the opposite sex does not necessarily have to cling to the rules and regulations of the past, and if you "discount" appropriately, you may be able to harvest the marriage you want.