1. The female thief stole unsuccessfully, and begged for forgiveness after being caught: don't be silent, do whatever you want, the owner of the house looks pitiful and agrees, but to help clean the house and wash off the dirty clothes. knot

1. The female thief did not succeed in stealing, and after being caught, she begged for forgiveness: don't be silent, you can do anything, the owner of the house looks pitiful and agrees, but he must help clean the house and wash off the dirty clothes. As a result, after 2 hours, the female thief found that she regretted a little, the whole five-story house had to be cleaned by her, and the dirty clothes were piled up in a room, and finally she begged the owner of the house to report it, and she really did not want to clean up.

2 The sister-in-law scored 546 points in the college entrance examination, and the score line of a book was exactly 545 points, but she was happy to be broken, and she happily sent a circle of friends: "Haha, what luck am I, the admission line is 545 points, I just took the test 546 points." The old man was immediately the first to comment below, saying: "Haha, what a coincidence, my daughter also scored 546 points in the college entrance examination!" The sister-in-law was stunned at that time, and replied at the bottom: "Dad, do you have any other daughters besides me?"

3 After graduating from college, I couldn't find a good job, so I went to work in an electronics factory. It was raining that time, and I went out of the workshop to see a beautiful girl at the door sheltering from the rain under a tree. As soon as I saw that this was an opportunity, I held up the umbrella and politely asked: "Beauty, I have an umbrella, right?" The girl looked at me and said, "No, my boyfriend will come after a while, thank you." I smiled slightly, kicked her in the tree, and ran away!

4 The father-in-law married a woman thirty years younger than him! Half a year after the marriage, the little uncle was born, and the father-in-law was very happy and invited guests to dinner. After three rounds of drinking, the father-in-law drank a little too much, and when asked what name he was going to give the child, he was a little excited. Father-in-law: "Land Rover, definitely call Land Rover!" My son is definitely better than me, and he will definitely be able to drive a Land Rover! "When you're done, drink the wine out of your cup!" I quickly grabbed him and said, "Dad, you have to think clearly, your surname is Lan!" ”

5 My second-married little wife and I are on our honeymoon in Sanya, and my baby son is coming happily. He said to me: Dad, you won 50 million in the lottery ticket you bought yesterday! I listened with a look of disbelief and said: Son, you are lying to your father again. The son hurriedly said: Really, don't lie to you! Curiously, I asked: What about money? The son replied: I redeemed the lottery ticket for you, and the money was spent for you! I bought a Maybach for my mother-in-law's family. As soon as the words stopped, the alarm clock woke me up...

6 When I went to work in other places, I rented a one-bedroom house. The landlord's aunt likes to take advantage of the small, her water heater is broken, let me help him repair it. After fixing the water heater, I asked her to fix the gas stove. When she asked me again to help fix other appliances, I pointed to her dog and said, "Auntie, I can still cook!" Why don't I get you a dry pot of dog meat to taste?" ”

7 My daughter-in-law, every time she pays public grain, subsidizes me with 100 ocean allowance fees! The first few months are OK, and the monthly pocket money is relatively rich. These two months are almost, the weather is hot, and it is a bit excessive, and recently it has been tighter. In order to increase my enthusiasm for paying grain, my daughter-in-law increased the subsidy to 150. To be honest, that's 50 more, and the attraction is quite big!!!

8 In order to be at the forefront of fashion, I applied for 8,000 yuan from my daughter-in-law to buy an iPhone 12. Today my wife took my phone to play a game, and I was cooking in the kitchen. She suddenly poked me in the face with her phone, and I inexplicably said: What's up! The wife smiled and said: Very good, very good! Then there was the tragedy, because the private money was lent to a friend, he wanted WeChat to pay me back, let me send a voice to determine whether I was himself!

9 Dad is an old employee of the electronics factory, and after 30 years of work, he finally became the team leader. After his promotion, he became very ethereal, and when he got home, he lay down on the couch and never did housework! The first time I took my boyfriend home, my mother said to let my father take care of all the housework such as cooking and washing dishes, and set an example for my son-in-law. The father thought that it would be a day of grievance, and it would be worth it for his daughter's happiness for a lifetime. So that day, Dad was particularly enthusiastic and diligent in a busy day, and the family atmosphere was quite harmonious and warm. Later, my mother invited my husband to the house for three days and two ends...

10 One day, walking down the street, I was pulled by a boy and put a necklace in my hand, and I was in a state of blindfolding. But I didn't take the call, I knew that someone else would come after me and say that I stole it. So I put the necklace on the ground, thinking I had dodged it. But the boy behind me actually said to me: "You stole the necklace, you broke it, and you lost 1 million yuan." "I just remembered now that the man in front and the man in the back were in the same group.

11 I remember once I flew to the toilet, so I went to the toilet to open the door, and at that time it frightened me, there was a flight attendant in the toilet, maybe I forgot to lock the door. She was stunned at first, and then stomped her feet urgently: "Who are you, what are you doing, you are going to close the door" I blushed at that time, hurriedly said sorry, closed the door, leaned on the door and gasped for breath, thinking that it was really embarrassing, who knew that at this time there was a cry from the flight attendant: "I let you go out and close the door!" ” 

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